Trust Issues 2 Login to Kupika  or  Create a new account 

This diary entry is written by ‹→MemoriesOfAHeartBreak→MilesAway←›. ( View all entries )
Previous entry: Trust Issues in category (general)

Trust Issues 2Category: (general)
Friday, 6 June 2014
01:54:49 AM (GMT)
There will be many more parts containing different things that contribute to my
Trust issues and all my problems.

You see I have a problem bout lettin go and lettin people in. 
Lettin people get close to me is not an option.  
Every time I do they hurt me so to avoid the hurt I push every one away or never give
them the time of day. 

I like to hide. 
I hide away in my room or in my closet. 
When things start to get heavy or things become to hard handle I run ro my closet or
my room. 
I shut the door and lock it. 

In my room I listen to music at loud levels.  
In my closet I sit in the dark and just well sure there. 
Sometimes I cry.  

When I'm there is a special place.  
These for walls protect me. 
Nothing else matters out side of them. 
The problems. 
Nothing matters. 

My mom is worried that she will lose me. 
Worried she'll bury me.  

I told her I'd I wanted to die I would do it. 
Sometimes I think about it but I know it is not the answer because some where
Some how things will get better.  Maybe not anytime soon. 
But they will.  

I keep telling mysElf that but my hope of that is starting to fade. 

I dunno. 

Inside this I'm safe
The dark is my friend
Amy where else is a fake
This will my end. 

For walls around me
Wrapping around me
Saving me
Killing me
All in one

How am I to win?
This game of life? 
To hold. 
To fold. 
To stand

A leap of faith to the bottem. 
High off the ground. 
I see them. 
I see me.
How am I to win this?

Juat to hide in my safe place. 
Safely away. 
From you. 
From them. 

Don't worry.  
I won't leap. 
Not yet at least. 

The four walls keep me in one piece. 
Four walls. 
These are me.

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