Saturday, 22 October 2011
03:07:13 AM (GMT)
Okay. I hate when Web sites give out bad advice on this subject, so I'm going to
take a crack at it myself.
1) I'm a healthy young woman. I masturbate frequently, and most of the time succeed
in having an orgasm. Sometimes I'm tired and give up, you know how it can be.
2) I have an active sex life with a steady partner. We have been involved for about
3) He has never once directly given me an orgasm.
4) He does not know this.
5) I fake.
I find it is entirely possible to enjoy sex and sexual play without reaching orgasm.
It's a different set of sensory experience than I am used to climaxing from, and I
find that it just hasn't happened for me.
And I'm OKAY with that. I love this guy, I love how he makes me feel, and I'm
satisfied after we have sex. It's stimulating in a different way, and it's completely
I'm not bothered by the fact that I know how to please myself better than someone
else can, especially someone with different equipment to work with. The connection
and shared pleasure, even if it isn't orgasmic for me, of sex is worth having. If I
want to orgasm, I'll take care of it myself. If I want to have fun and feel special,
I'll have sex with my partner. Knowing that HE gets off actually makes it that much
better. I like making him feel good.
So why do I fake?
If I don't mind NOT getting off, why hide it?
There are many reasons.
He's doing everything right. Foreplay and/or sex with him feels fantastic, and I
wouldn't want him to change it. I want him to know he's satisfying me, but I worry
that he won't understand how that can be without an orgasm. Another woman in the
future may have an easier time climaxing, and his method currently has brought me
very close before. He shouldn't think he's doing badly because I'm difficult. So I
Guys will tell you they can tell when a girl fakes. I don't think this is true, if
you fake well. Don't be noisy if you're not naturally vocal. I am, so when I fake
one, I get loud. Mimicking the vaginal contractions caused by orgasm is also
important, especially during intercourse. Try to move your whole body like you do
when you actually climax. Don't worry about looking silly- it tells the man, "Job
well done, sir." And THAT'S WHAT I WANT HIM TO THINK.
It is OKAY to fake if you are satisfied and just want to give your man a pat on the
back. Don't tell him, though- he may not understand.
It is NOT OKAY to fake if you aren't enjoying yourself and just want to get it over
with. Then it's time for a talk with your partner about how to make the experience
better for you. A good lover isn't perfect- he or she adapts to please his or her
It is NOT OKAY to fake if you have never had an orgasm. And trust me, if you've had
one, you'll know. Not only is it impossible to convincingly mimic motions you've
never naturally done (it's like faking a sneeze and never having had a real one),
it's a signal that you and yourself need to have some private time and do some
exploring. If you don't know what feels good, how can you tell someone else?
In conclusion, a faked orgasm doesn't always mean that something isn't working right.
If you suspect your partner is faking, talk to them and be open-minded. The "Big O"
is not the ultimate goal all the time, and guys, you aren't awful if you can't manage
to give her one. If you weren't doing something right, your partner wouldn't keep
As for me, I hope to continue enjoying sex with my partner. Maybe someday I'll manage
a real orgasm during intercourse. Maybe I won't. Either way, I'm happy with him, and
I hope this has helped clear up a few misconceptions about how- and more importantly,
WHY- a woman fakes an orgasm. It is NOT the kiss of death!
Please feel free to message me or ask any questions in the comments. I think
straightforward discussion about sex leads to people having a better understanding of
the opposite sex and their own sexuality.
Any other topics anyone may be interested in? Can be anything you think needs a
straight answer, sex or otherwise.
Thanks for reading,
Last edited: 22 October 2011