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This diary entry is written by Kirti. ( View all entries )
 
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Akhenaten was a human.Category: (general)
Friday, 5 August 2011
04:51:49 PM (GMT)
So this one time...

By the way, this isn't like a neat "once upon a time" story, it's just me blathering
on. Anyway.


So this one time a friend and I were watching the history channel, because it used to
be a cool educational network. Unfortunately, no one thought educational networks
were cool but me, so they all got filled with bullshit, like the Science Channel's
now seemingly endless "How It's Made" marathons, and the Animal Planet getting
cancled.

Evidently, however, someone decided that a quick death like Animal Planet got would
be too kind for the History Channel, and instead it was filled with endless
conspiracy theory documentaries, broken up by the all too frequent attempts by
"believers" to convince the world that aliens built the pyramids, and that the reason
Akhenaten is depicted as having a large head rather than in traditional Egyptian
style is not because Akhenaten wished to go against Egytian tradition ("Like how he
changed the foundation of their religion during his rule?" "Yes.") but actually
because he was descended from aliens.

And somehow the show hosts never think to say: What? Pharaohs ruled from bloodlines
and if Akhenaten was descended from aliens then his whole family must have been and
would have share the same "strange" (realistic) features shown in Akhenaten's
depictions? 

They just don't mention it. Uuuugh... Why, people? Why??

Anywho. 

So me and this friend were watching one of these "Pyramids built by aliens guys,
OMG!!" documentaries, and my friend says to me

"Wow, can you believe that no one realized the Egyptian pyramids were built by aliens
until now?"

And I said "They weren't. The Egyptian pyramids were built by Egyptians."

My friend said "Haven't you been paying attention? A bunch of ancients with primitive
technology couldn't possibly have-"

"Wall of Great Zimbabwe." I said icily.

For those who aren't familiar with this story, the Wall of Great Zimbabwe was- is- a
very impressive work of engineering, as they were huge and lasting walls built
without mortar. Construction probably started around the eleventh century and
continued to the fourteenth.They were very big, very imposing, and held up very well.


So well, in fact, that when Europeans began exploring in the late nineteenth century,
the walls were still there, and they were still impressive.

So the Europeans said: "Wow! This is impressive! Do you know what this means?

... It means other Europeans were here before us!!"

It is an embarrassing moment for archaeology. The people who studied the ruins were
pressured by their white-supremist bosses to conclude that no one in Africa could
possibly have built a big impressive wall, and therefore someone else must have come
and done it for them. Of course it was later revealed that this conclusion was bogus,
racist, unbelievable, and above all wrong.

The pyramids were built a long time ago. Some of the tools used to build them have
been lost to time, and we don't know what the solutions they found to the problems
they faced during construction were anymore. Maybe the pharaohs themselves had the
records of their tools destroyed so that their descendants couldn't build a greater
monument then they had. 

That doesn't mean we need another Wall of Great Zimbabwe incident.

My friend went back to watching the show while indulging herself in a nice, long sulk
that I didn't respect "her opinions" (which she hadn't had before watching that
propaganda program on television.)

The end.

... What? I'm no good at happy endings! >_>

True story, btw.

Comments 
‹-赤い激怒-› says:   5 August 2011   260389  
Thought you were going to conclude with "True story, bro"
 
Kirti says:   6 August 2011   439860  
@Alice_POX 
Should I edit it? 
 
‹Bonbon Horror› says:   6 August 2011   284681  
Hahah I actualy have that on DVD and my dad has made me watch every
single episode over five times now and he wants me to read the books
xD
But its true though I see no reason why it is impossible for egyptians
to be able to build pyramids without help.
 
Kirti says:   6 August 2011   655905  
@Amiyutchi 
Is there one particular series for these, really?

I think the one we were watching was independently produced, but I
could be wrong- I try to avoid those programs. 
 
‹Bonbon Horror› says:   6 August 2011   766533  
@Kirti 
Well I couldn't no matter how hard I tried because my dad forces me to
watch it with him hahah xD 
 
Kirti says:   7 August 2011   761885  
@Amiyutchi 
Interesting dad you have there! 
 
tiggerlemon101 says:   14 August 2011   603130  
That theory is really stupid.  

Just saying.
 
‹< Dragon-tamer-1995 >› says:   14 August 2011   222599  
Which is why I don't watch the History channel.
Apart from Dogfights. That's good enough, I guess.

And tell me about those "How It's Made" marathons! Even up here in
Canada, every time I want to watch the Discovery Channel, it's either
playing "Deadliest Catch" or "How It's Made."

You got some very good points there, Janet. Not that I ever believed
that aliens built the pyramids in the first place, but still.
 
Kirti says:   15 August 2011   362711  
@tiggerlemon101 
What theory? That the Egyptians built the Egyptian pyramids, or that
they didn't? 
 
tiggerlemon101 says:   15 August 2011   495790  
@Kirti 
That they didn't.  
 
Kirti says:   15 August 2011   621939  
@tiggerlemon101 
Oh phew.
(I was scared for a moment, there.) 
 
‹TonTon› says:   25 August 2011   400139  
History lost all credit when they made that show about Larry the
Cable Guy.
All thats good on it now is the stuff that comes on at like 7, with
Leonard Nimoy narrating. >.> Maybe International Profile, but I've not
seen it in a long while...
 
Kirti says:   26 August 2011   189917  
@Any_kun 
Every time I see someone has commented on this diary I spend a moment
terrified someone has dropped by to say "So the aliens built the Wall
of Great Zimbabwe, too?!!?!  "

So it's a relief to see it's from you, Anybonany. What sort of show
did they do for Larry he Cable Guy? 
 
‹-赤い激怒-› says:   26 August 2011   589958  
So the aliens built the Wall of Great Zimbabwe, too?!!?!  
 
Kirti says:   27 August 2011   341052  
@Alice_POX 
It's such a relief that that'd a joke. You have no idea. 
 
‹TonTon› says :   13 November 2011   571108  
@Kirti 
Only in America with Larry the Cable Guy
Never seen it, but it seems equally retarded.
From the commercials, it looked like a travel channel or food network
show without the cooking or food, and only the bad attempts of humor.
Also, I haven't been on this in so long, I'm sure this will echo. o.O 
 

 
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