Monday, 8 November 2010
10:22:47 PM (GMT)
I dont really tell people my problems anymore, i feel its pointless to waste my time
telling my friends how i feel if they dont understand, or if they just dont care.
Like amber today she was in a bad mood again. I was having these bad stomache pains
(not cramps) and they hurt. I think i might have an ulcer or Bladder infection so i
wanted to ask amber about it. And amber recently had to go to the doctor because she
was having bad stomache pains, so i wanted to tell her and find out how her pains
felt. To see if they were the same. Me: "Amber im having really bad stomach pains "
Amber: " Um im sorry?!" She said it in a "i dont really care voice" and she rolled
her eyes. It pisses me off! Shes supposed to be my best friend and she does stuff
like this all the time. She's the only person i talk to about things and i dont feel
like i can tell her anymore because im afraid she will always be in her moods, or she
will feel that my issue at the time isnt important. So, i wont tell her things
anymore and if she has to tell me something i will ignore her or act like i dont
care, so she knows how it feels. But its weird im beging to feel content with being
alone. Like i have my moments where im okay with it and i dont mind. But i still feel
bad. I dont have anyone to talk to about personal problems. I dont really have any
real friends that i would do anything for at the moment, there just classmates that i
consider friends but they aren't close. I used to talk to everybody, i find myself
keeping to myself more tho. Its as if im becoming a turtle that stays in her shell
all day, and never comes out. But no matter what i still smile, i still laugh, so
that i can be that much closer to being happy. But it seems like the more i try the
further it gets from my reach.