Saturday, 27 March 2010
10:36:28 PM (GMT)
(I should really really really be doing my three pages of algebra.)
The Tale of Blank Blanking Blank
(AKA The Tale of Magenta Jumping Hood)
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Magenta Jumping Hood. One day, her great
aunt was sick in bed, so her mother sent her off into the abyss on her chartreuse
unicycle with a basket of confectionary treats. Little Magenta was following the
beaten path and was deep in the abyss when she realized she had left her great aunt's
medicine at home, and the goodies wouldn't make her great aunt's dysentery any
better! And, when it seemed like life couldn't get any worse, her tire blew out. So
Magenta continued on the path. It wasn't long before a(n) snarky armadillo jumped
in front of her and demanded the candy she was delivering! Magenta released a
92,384,765-decibel scream and dashed past the armadillo, who now had his eyeballs
shattered to a million pieces.
Magenta finally reached her great aunt's house not long after the retarded encounter.
She elbowed on the door, and it creaked open. deftly. Drawing in a deep breath,
Magenta wheedled into the foyer and down the hall, to her great aunt's bedroom. There
(s)he was, lying down, and hacking mercilessly. Bottles were strewn everywhere, as
well as at least 64 different acne treatment kits. "Great Aunt, I've brought you some
Clark Bars!" Magenta chided, skipping stupidly to her great aunt's side. But then,
she noticed something wasn't quite right. "Great Aunt, what gargantuan talons you
have!" Her great aunt replied, in a creepy voice, "All the better to eavesdrop on you
with, my dear."
Then, something snapped in Magenta's brain. "You're not my great aunt!" she shrieked.
"Because my great aunt always uses his/her hearing aid!" With her red ruby slippers
of death, she roundhouse-kicked her queer great aunt, who promptly barfed the actual
great aunt, healthy as an ox.
"Armadillo, you are a bumbling sniveling fireship!" Great Aunt quipped, before
reaching for her empty acne treatment kits. "Out! Out!" The armadillo hastily headed
back out the bathroom window, which is what he came in through, and was never heard
from again. Magneta eventually got her great aunt her medication, and she lived
plenty of years... in the insane asylum. So really, it was only Magenta who lived
happily ever after.
Oh, and yes, you can make your own. I made it myself.
I'm a hard worker, yes?
If you took it, post your story here.
I'd very much like to read it. C: