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My snarky resolutionsCategory: (general)
Friday, 1 January 2010
06:27:47 AM (GMT)
The past few years, my goal has been deceptively simple-

Resolution: Don't suck too much this year.

Unfortunately, I have never completed that one in... Er... Fourteen years six months
someodd days.

So because my mother, whom I love and admire (weird teen, right?) told me that I must
respect myself, and that respecting myself does not automatically turn me into
an egotistical bastard (pfft, okay mom, sure), I've decided to make a
new resolution.

But I happen to be a lousy human being, so I figured I'd just have to make a bunch!

Wish me luck.

Kirti's snarky New Years resolutions

1) Stop being such a ruddy failure
    1A) Meaning no failing quizes, tests, labs, or projects
    1B) ... Aaaand by extention, no failing your dang classes!
    1C) While you're at it, don't be third to last to qaulify for away meets this
time. I mean gosh, what was that about? You were a disgrace to your school.
    1D) Don't do anything that could result in one or more person snickering and
saying "epic fail".

2)Stop being so dang LAZY
    2A) Get off your butt, and off your laptop and just don your homework.
    2B) And chores.
    2C) And learn Japanese.
    2D) Yes, written counts. 
    2E) And you should study for school, too.
    2F) Some more independent research would hurt either.
    2G) You  should run more, too.
    2H) That's because if you don't, you will get fat.
    2I) SOON.
3) Get a job, you lazy bum
    3A) Yes I know no one is hiring, but work something the heck out.

4) Remember your dreams
    4A)  I mean honestly. Lady knows the only part of you that's worth anything is
your conciousness, and you lose it for an average of six hours a day. 

5) Lose weight
    5A) I mean, seven pounds. Really? You're supposed to be an athlete and
you're only seven pounds away from being over weight?
    5B) Ten pounds lighter would be a good goal, I think.
    5C) But don't go anorexic.
    5D) Well, some fasting might be okay.
    5E) I mean, common, at least anorexics have willpower.
    5F) If you become bulimac though, be aware that you've become pathetic.
    5G) Less pathetic then if you're overweight though.
    5H) So use the wii fit, run to get in shape for preseason, eat better, eat less,

6) Write more
    6A) You justify Kirti's Mind Theaters as practice writing, but you barely even do
    6B) Gosh, maybe you could read TLO more if you did your job better.
    6C) You probably disinspire people, your prediction peices are so lousy.

7) Write better
    7A) It's not all natural talent, although you certainly lack that. 
    7B) One entry a day, that's worthy of being read.

8] Stop being so dang annoying
    8A) 'Nuff said.

9) Stop being so annoyed
    9A) Stupid people shouldn't annoy you. You are one.
    9B) Yes you still have an IQ fifty points higher then the people who
irritate you, but 160 isn't that bloody high either.
    9C) It's probably lower, you got that as a result on facebook anyway, you
gullible freak.

10) Be less awkward
      10A) With Emily.
      10B) With your friends.
      10C) With people you want as friends.
      10D) With family.
      10F) No one else matters. <-- Aha! Since they don't matter, I can say I
do this one!

11) Stop thinking you're better then everyone else
      11A) You're not.
      11B) You're worse.

12) Stop having low self esteem
      12A) That means stop sucking so you don't have anything to feel bad about!

13) Stop having personality traits that directly conflict with each other

14) Clean your room
      14A) Fold your clothes
      14B) After washing them.
      14C) Put the dirty ones in a hamper.
      14D) And hang that poster, too!

15) Make your hair blonde again

16) Be more likable.

17) And generally... Don't suck too much this year!

... Sorry Mom! XD
Last edited: 1 January 2010

lunasan says:   1 January 2010   982152  
...I dun like number fourteen
lunasan says:   1 January 2010   562093  
Wait, it's sixteen... YOU HAVE TWO FIFTEENS. 
lunasan says:   1 January 2010   594468  
Kirti says:   1 January 2010   947526  
Whoops. (renumbers)
‹SqueeneyTodd› says:   2 January 2010   761935  
"Get off your butt, and off your laptop and just don your homework."
...This, even though no matter how hard I try, it will never happen.
Kirti says:   2 January 2010   451448  

I feel your pain. I've already failed most of these. 
‹Panda  Bear› says:   2 January 2010   838565  
Totally agree with the "Don't suck too much this year". I always do
Kirti says:   3 January 2010   822489  
Fixed it!
And thanks Kishii. I'm sure you're much better at acheiving it though,
due to your inate awesomosity. 
‹Panda  Bear› says:   3 January 2010   985642  

Thank you 
But you know you're too awesome to suck  
Kirti says :   3 January 2010   949269  
Er, no actually. Not awesome, but an exelent faker.


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