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This diary entry is written by ‹♥|I'm Vulnerable|♥›. ( View all entries )
 
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LOLOL. MLIA xDDCategory: (general)
Wednesday, 18 November 2009
04:23:52 AM (GMT)
Today I realized the reason our school doesn't let us use plastic knives for
lunch is because we could use them as weapons. We are however allowed to use
scissors, X-Acto knives, bandsaws, nail guns, acids, archery arrows, stapple guns,
and cookery knifes. I just feel safe knowing I won't be threatened with a plastic
eating utensil. MLIA

Today, I took my sister out to lunch, and they got her order wrong. The guy at the
register doesn't like me, so he didn't want to give my sister a refund or a new
burger. Instead of letting me ask for the manager, she burst into tears and said she
was allergic to onions, and how could someone be such a horrible person to let the
little sister of someone they hate die because of some onions on a burger. After
quickly getting a new burger with no onions, she then shoved an onion ring in her
mouth, said thank you, and led me back to the car. Best. Sister. Ever. MLIA

Today, my class was reenacting Romeo and Juliet in drama class. I was Juliet. When
it came to the scene where Juliet says, “What satisfaction canst thou have
tonight?” My drama teacher screamed at the top of his lungs, “That’s what she
said!” I have a new found respect for him. MLIA

ROFL I FOUND THESE  AT SCHOOL. xDD
Today, a pack of cheerleaders came into where I work and asked if we sold pizzas.
I said no, and they left. I work at Pizza Hut. MLIA

Today, I was sitting in math class when my teacher (who was discussing prime
numbers) said, "Can anyone give me an example of a prime?" I instinctively said
Optimus. I got 2 high fives and a fist bump. The fist bump came from my teacher.
MLIA

Today my sister wouldn't share the remote so I left. My dad walked into the room
and told her that her boyfriend is outside. She believed him, ran outside, and my dad
locked her out. Well played Dad, remote well earned. MLIA.

Today, I mystery googled my death and it showed a person getting eaten by a
pacman. I am quite content with this demise. MLIA 

The other day, I was sitting behind a girl in class that is very loud, rude, and
obnoxious. She was giving her opinion (no surprise there) when I started to pretend
to punch her in the back of the head. When she turned around to say something to me,
my teacher picked up where I left off. MLIA

Recently we had a lockdown drill at school, so we had to turn off all the lights,
close the curtains and go into a corner. We were in music class, and all ended up
under/near a piano. Someone reached up and started playing the Jaws theme on the
piano, and when it finally reached its climax the school bell rang and startled
several people, even making a girl scream. Lockdown well spent? I think so. MLIA

Today, I said to my student tutor, "thanks for last night" because he helped me
with the english paper that was due. After many heads were turned at us I realized
what I said and wondered if the guy was embarrassed too. Instead he winked and said,
"we should do it more often." Expressions were priceless. MLIA.

Today I asked a guy if he wanted to go the the dance with me and he said no he was
'too busy'. Not wanting to feel like I was rejected, I said, "Oh thank God! My mom
kept telling me to ask you since she owed your mom a favor!" His face expression made
up for everything. MLIA

LOLOLxDDD
My brother-in-law's sister recently had a baby. They were going to call her
Elizabeth Pippa Isabelle Collins, but decided to leave Isabelle out. I have never
been more disappointed; I couldn't wait to meet little EPIC. MLIA

Today, I realized that if I save a Word Document as "What's Up", my computer will
save it as: What's Up.doc Made my day. MLIA

Today, after babysitting a litte girl while the cable at their house was being
fixed her father came home and jokingly asked if I'd mind being paid in gum and held
out a piece of trident layers. I laughed and accepted. As I was about to leave the
cable man muttered "no one ever pays me in gum." We ended up spliting the gum.
MLIA.

Today in Health class, we were talking about healthy relationsips. The teacher
asked the head cheerleader why she originally said yes to her boyfriend when he first
asked her out, and of course, everyone expected a typical cheerleader response like
"he's sooo hot.". Instead, the girl simply blushed and said "His last name is Riddle,
and I thought that if we got married and had a son we could name him Tom Morvolo.
That way, I could say Lord Voldemort is my son." The class just stared at her in awed
silence. Never again will I insult a cheerleader. MLIA. 

IM NEVER USING, "LOL" OR ANY OTHER LAUGHING TEXT EVER. EXCEPT THIS ONE. I even wrote
it down. xDDD
Today, I was talking to my friend on facebook. The conversation got funny and I
cracked a joke, he replied with "LMAOROTFLBTCSTCNDBFOOTWI FOAGWLLBGWTHROOTSAIAKBAYB".
When I questioned him about it, he wrote "Laughing my ass off rolling on the floor
biting the carpet, scaring the cat, nearly dying by falling out of the window in
front of a guy who looks like Bill Gates, who then horrified runs out on the street
and is accidentally killed by a yellow bulldozer." Never again will I say "lol". MLIA


Today, I was walking in the hallway while I should've been in class when my
principle walked past me. I quickly did a somersault, hid behind a wall, and noticed
he had disappeared. When I turned around, he was standing behind me and said "you're
not the only ninja here." and walked away. MLIA

Im totally doing this when I get my phone. LMAOROTFLBTCSTCNDBFOOTWI
FOAGWLLBGWTHROOTSAIAKBAYB
Today, I was getting Ice cream at the local Ice cream parlor when my phone went
off, I have it set to the power ranger theme song as a joke between my sister and I.
I answered "Whats the problem Red Ranger?" and heard someone gasp behind me, I turned
to see a young boy staring at me wide eyed, I winked at him and told him that he had
to keep my identity a secret, he nodded vigorously and ran off screaming "Mom, I met
a Power Ranger!!!". MLIA.

Lol im doing that when im having a kid xDD
Today I told my husband I am pregnant. His response? We should talk to the baby
for the first 3 years of it's life in a British accent, just so it can adapt it and
be the cool kid at school. I knew I picked the right guy. MLIA

Comments 
‹•TheUltimateHipster;Poland•› says:   18 November 2009   696998  
LMAOROTFLBTCSTCNDBFOOTWIFOAGWLLBGWTHROOTSAIAKBAYB

I LAUGHED MY ASS OFFFFFF! XD
 
‹♥|I'm Vulnerable|♥› says:   19 November 2009   519239  
LOL
I AM USING THAT FROM NOW ON. 8D
LMAOROTFLBTCSTCNDBFOOTWIFOAGWLLBGWTHROOTSAIAKBAYB
 
‹•TheUltimateHipster;Poland•› says:   19 November 2009   522082  
i used that, and one of my friends was like, wtf? so i told her what
it ment, and she says, ''god, you are so random! you need a hobby!''
XD
 
‹<The Girl That You Dreampt About>› says:   8 December 2009   120255  
OMG!!!!! This is hilarous. 
I'm going to steal this, and put it on my Facebook page.
 
‹Xilovehimx› says:   9 December 2009   109392  
Lmao. The one with Romeo and Juilet, Is funny. I was reading
something like that and that happened before.
 
‹F R E E F A L L› says:   9 December 2009   198895  
MYLIFEISAVERAGE.COM FTWWW <333
IT PWNS FML ;D
 
‹♥Kirsche♥› says:   9 December 2009   914050  
Did all this happen to you? if so, you go to the best school ever!
 
‹♥|I'm Vulnerable|♥› says:   9 December 2009   262835  
@RainyEcstasy 
IKNOWROFL. <33
@skybluechic 
Yes,
most of it ACTUALLY HAS HAPPENED TO ME. xD 
 
‹♥Kirsche♥› says :   10 December 2009   305201  
@BlackAndWhiteCheckers_YellowAndBlackCheckers 
WOW. Hilarious.  (sorry if I was asking the obvious, but it was
possible you got that from Fmylife.com...) 
 
 
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