Monsters (rated M for content) Login to Kupika  or  Create a new account 

This diary entry is written by ‹She'llFlyThatBlackHawkDown♥.›. ( View all entries )
Previous entry: To Ali ♥ in category (general)

Monsters (rated M for content)Category: (general)
Saturday, 12 September 2009
09:13:56 PM (GMT)
Is this true? Is it false? That's for you to descide. I'm aware of the several
grammatical errors and it got really crappy towards the end. It was pretty difficult
to write this, so bear with me. 
I've rated it 'M' because of the content. 

     My mind was being too impatient. I wanted to sleep, but no. That damn
brain of mine wanted to think about everything thinkable at 10:30 at night- on a
school night. The muggy indoor air seemed to make my brain think even more, making it
impossible to go to sleep now. I was mad-infuraited even. I had several tests
tomorrow and my stupid brain decides to dwel on the things I didn't want to
think about. 
     I found myself meandering towards my cluttered walk-in closet, while my annoying
brain kept on telling me that it needed to be cleaned up before I was to get grounded
untill hell froze over. I tried to tune it out as I peeled off my sweats and put on a
pair of jeans and a Vans tank. 
     Where the hell was I going? I thought as my fingers started unlocking my
already broken window. With a yank of my un-muscled arms, the night air caressed my
face, unknotting all my uncomforts and smoothing the worried wrinkle between my
eyebrows. With a deep breath, I slid out of my muggy room and into the night with the
agility of a cat.
     Sometimes I thought I was one of those creatures of the night. A vampire? Naw,
blood made me a little squeemish. A werewolf? Could be. I often found myself talking
to my dog and I understood her when she barked....But was I good? Was I one of those
hideous half man- half beasts that changed in the light of a full moon and killed
everyone in sight? No, because killing them would involve blood, and I hated blood.
So I was one of the kind, almost loving, werewolves of Stephanie Meyer's dreams. I
grinned at the irony of me being a half chick- half dog, considering I was
head-over-heels in love with the actor who plays a werewolf. Maybe if I found out if
I was a real werewolf I could give him some pointers...
     Pushing the very cute face of Taylor Lautner out of my mind, I focused on the
reason why I let my night passon lead me out into the dark streets of my tiny
neighborhood. With a asperated sigh, I walked slowly on the fringe of the road- where
the grass overlapped the blacktop- and stared at the stars, thinking about my major
     I had no idea how I was going to get back to my almost-normal life of smiles and
laughs. Since Conner and Dustin's birthday Friday, (I softly snorted to myself at the
irony of that also) I had been a ball of depression. I had broke down to the sound of
Robert Pattinson's I Was Broken, and I did just that. I felt my soul fall break into
a million pieces in the most painful experience I will ever encounter. I was first
thrown into the water by the first boy I opened my heart up to-Robbie. Then the
second boy, Conner, died, I started having a hard time swimming. Dustin, my soul
mate, had thrown me a life preserver and rescued me from that water. He became a drug
to me. Maybe more a poison then a drug considering the fact that he was the one who
stole the life preserver and shoved me under the azure water. 
     You're wandering the night because of that jerk! my concious told me, but
I ignored her too. My heart that was steadly beating in my large chest, said
otherwise, agreeing with the fact that Dustin was my drug. I sighed, laying my hand
over the hot pink V on my chest, feeling my heart and sighed as I thought about the
last kiss we shared. It burned with a high intensity on my lips as the memory rushed
to me, making my heart skip unseadily. Blood rushed to my cheeks as I thougt about
what would've happened if we were alone when that kind of passon took us over. I
unwillingly placed my hand on my stomach, where his baby would be if it
would've went like that. I smiled at the thought of him sighing my name and
him holding me in his arms. I had never before thought about having sex
with him, just laying together- "cuddling" as he called it with obvious clothing
boundaries considering our young age. I giggled at my pervertedness, imagining how he
would laugh at me for being such a perv. But I thought about how wonderful it would
be for me to be round with his child, nestled safely in my stomach and I sighed,
wishing I could just lay with him and forget all my worries as he played with my
untidy hair as he used to do before we would kiss.....
     I could feel light on my back, but it was probably just a car driving by. 
     I kept walking but the car stopped driving too soon. 
     "Hey!" a man's voice boomed from the car, obviously talking to me, who happens
to be wearing attire too tight for my premature curves. The voice somehow regestered
with my brain. It was very, very familar. I took a step forward.....
     Stop! and I did, not because the voices told me to, but because of the
two people who had those same voices. Dustin and Conner. My heart wrenched at the
sound of their voices, so clear inside my own worst enemy. 
     "You were at the party?" I asked the dark car, remembering the party that ended
earlier tonight. I took another hasty step forward as several laughs echoed from the
     "We sure were, pretty girl." the driver cooed drunkenly.
     I sniffed the air, alcohol stinging my nose. I felt like I had been tazered
after my brain shouted what I had just done to me. I just fell into the most
dangerious trap a weak girl like me could fall into. I was frozen solid at my fate.
My once irratating concious dissapeared and I was left alone on the dark streets as
the men shut off the car and two stepped out, coming towards me. 
     Run you idiot! it was only Dusitn's voice now. I want to! , I told
myself as the men neared, but I couldn't find my legs. It was like they became tree
trunks, deeply rooted in the ground. 
     Untill the two men cut me down with their arms and pulled me into the dark car
with them. 
     Taylor you can't give up! Fight them! Scream! Do something! You
can't just give yourself to them! Dustin was shouting despretly at
me. I still wouldn't- couldn't- budge, not even when they started taking off my
     You're not going to let them get you pregnate are you? he groaned in my
head and I was suddenly overwhelmed but my dream of me, him and our baby cuddled
between us. I then thrashed around, trying to stop them from peeling the rest of my
clothes away. The men put my already removed cloths onto the ground and held me down
with iron grips. 
     "She's gona be fu-un" the man positioned in front of me said, putting fun into
two sillables. 
     "I'm gona love making this beauty squeal." the man holding me from behind
laughed, groping my size B breast. I screamed inside my lips, making a high-pitched
sound inside my throat. 
     Bastard! Dustin cussed as the man who groped me started to laugh at my
supposed groan of pleasure. I then looked at the man in front of me, who was tracing
my hips with a wry smile on his face and....
     I shreiked at the sight of the large bulge in his jeans inches from the lace
panties that protected my most private part. 
     "Let me go!" I yelled, thrashing to my body's extent. Dustin was cussing loudly
in the back of my mind as the front man hitched the bottoms of my wrigling legs onto
his shoulder and bent down, swiping his tongue over the bottom of my panties. I cried
out again as the wrong feelings shot through me. I wanted only Dustin to make me feel
this way. This was wrong. 
     A chuckle sounded from behind me, "She likes it man," the voice said, "give her
more. I want her nice and horny when I get inside her beautiful ass." he said,
gripping my arms so hard that I could swear he drew blood. I screamed again, trying
to break their hold on me. 
     "Ha, I know dude. She's so damn sexy I think my jeans are gona rip." he joked
sickingly as he lifted me closer to his mouth. Then his tongue stroked me again. 
     "Then take 'em off and we'll get this girl screaming for more." the back man
said, holding both my arms with one of his strong hands.
     No! Taylor you have to try harder! Dustin cried. I can't, Dustin. I
can't I said, tears falling from my eyes. 
     "Sounds good." the front man said yanking his jeans off, exposing himself not
wearing any boxers. 
     He must've planned on raping a girl tonight.
     He trailed his fingers along my sides and tucked them under the sides of my
panties, slowly pulling them off. 
     "No stop!" I screamed as he got them to my knees and they both groaned with
animal pleasure. Then his tongue stroked me without my lace protection. I screamed
out from that touch. It was so wrong to be touched by anyone but Dustin and this was
my nightmare come to life. I screamed again as the back man pulled my bra strap and
then let it so making a red welt on my skin- I screamed out from that also. Then the
men positioned me and themselves so they could put themselves inside me. And then
they did.
     It was like a sword shoved through me. I screamed as the pain exploded inside me
and I could feel my nails digging into the arms of one of the men. I could feel the
hot liquid of his blood on my fingertips as my nails dug deeper into his flesh. I
couldn't take it anymore. The pain of their entrance was crushing me, and when I had
lost it, I screamed for my salvation.
     "Dustin help me!" I cried through agonized sobs. "Dustin save me please!" I kept
on imagining being somewhere safe in his arms, but the pain from these men crushed my
efforts. They just laughed and pushed harder into me. 
     Stay strong. It will be over soon. I love you so much. It will be ok.
Dustin's voice was whispering soothing words through my searing agony and screaming.
It went on for several more minutes that felt like hours untill there was an
explosion within me and the men each pulled out, panting. I crumpled to the floor of
the car, curling up and choking on my every breath. Sex was supposed to be a
beautiful thing, not this horrible, scary incident I had just experenced. No. This
was the act of the devil. This was hell coming to visit me early. The men pulled
their pants back on and lifted me back up. I felt like putty as I slouched against
their arms.
     "Looks like we got her good." one laughed, opening his passanger door. He picked
up my clothes and threw them out. 
     And then they tossed me out after my clothes. 
     I was grateful for the soft landing the grass provided, but the grass could not
cleanse the sin that now was perched within me where my salvation's offspring
should be. I curled in on myself and let the overwhelming sadness consume me,
making my hickup-ey sobs more like a scream of a bird. After several minutes of this,
I dug into my jeans and called Dustin. 
     He answered on the first ring like usual. 
     "Dustin?" I wimpered.
     "Taylor?! What happened?" He asked with worry and alarm.
     "They took it, Dustin. They took my baby Shia from me..." I broke off into sobs
again. Shia was what I wanted to name my first child. I had allways imagined my first
baby to be a girl, and so her name was going to be Shia Lee Essick. But she was
replaced with the demon child that had taken her away from me. 
     "Who is they, Taylor?" he said, leaving off the baby part. 
     "I don't know." I cried. 
     "What happend to you?" He said groaning.
     "They took my baby..." I broke off again, tears like Niagra Falls down my
     "Who is your baby, Taylor? Who took it?" he asked.
     "Our baby!" I yelled, right away regretting it. 
     "Our baby-" he cut off as it clicked inside his head. "You had sex didn't you?"
he said quietly.
     "No. It wasn't sex. I told him to stop but-"
     "Who raped you Taylor." He growled. The hatred weeded through his voice was
something I'd never heard before, so I was scared.
     "I-I don't k-know." I studdered. I heard him sigh and another shiver went down
my naked spine.
     "Where are you now?" he said, struggling to keep his temper. I glanced around
and sickingly reconised the street sign as my own. I was so close to home....
     "Are you there Taylor?" his anger was replaced with worry. 
     "Yea I-I'm here." I stuttered. "I'm on my street." I said feeling my gut twist.
     "I'm coming right now." he said blutly. I could hear shuffling in the background
and I could tell he was probably changing out of his usual plaid pajama pants and no
shirt and into something that he could get away with wearing in public. Then I
remembered I was naked.
     "Maybe not now..." I said uncurling myself and grabbing my clothes and hugging
them to my bare chest.
     "Why?" he asked, worried.
     "Umm." I had no idea what to say. My face flushed a bright red at him seeing me
naked, espacally with the bruises that were forming on my wrists and legs. 
     "Don't tell me they just left you naked." he was growling again, but of course,
he had a perfect reason to be mad. 
     "Yes." I whispered feeling another round of sobs coming just thinking about what
happened minutes ago. 
     "Get your clothes back on and I'll be there in about 20 minutes." he said and I
could hear the roar of an engine in the background.
     "What?" he inturrupted me before I could finish. "Do you not want to put your
clothes back on?" he asked curiously.
     "No-Wait...I mean I do want to put my clothes back on but.. I-I want you to stay
with me tonight." I stuttered like an idiot as my face blushed crimson. I needed his
soft touch to wipe the bad away. I needed him. 
     "Ok. You get dressed and I'll be there soon. I'll stay with you forever if
that's what you want. We can do whatever you want. I just want to stop your hurting."
he said as soft as a caressing feather. The plesent, lovely tingling feelings
butterflied in my stomach as my earlier thought of him holding me in his arms but it
swiftly shifted into the car nightmare and I shuttered.
     "Ok. Can you stay on the phone untill you get here?" I asked softly. 
     "Whatever you want." he said with a smile in his voice. 
     "Kay'." I said just then noticing how raspy my voice sounded. I put my phone on
speaker and laid it on a soft patch of grass and then brushed off all the dirt off my
bare skin. I could hear his soft breathing as I slipped on my panties and bra, then
the rest of my clothes. I sat up and then hugged my arms around me knees and placed
the phone on top.
     "Are you dressed?" He asked, the sound of the engine fading in the background.
     "Yea." I said with my sore-throat sounding voice. He sighed and I saw dim
headligts in the distance and my heart automatically started racing. 
     "Alright." he said, his smile still there in his voice. My eyes widened as the
headlights were beginning to look like they were heading towards me. Was it the same
car that was the battlefeild I had just faught? Were they coming back for more
because they weren't satisfied? A scream started in my throat as I gained the
strength to stand up and inch towards the trees. 
     "I think they're coming back." I croaked inching closer to the protective dark
     "I'm on your street now." he growled as the engine roared in the background
again. The car was coming closer and closer. I felt like the stupid teenage girl who
opened the door in the scary movies- even when she knew what was lurking behind the
door wasn't the hunky football player. Then I heard Dustin gasp.
     "Is that you?" he said with surprise and pain. My heartbeat then went from
scared to nervious as I then realised he was the one driving the car that was coming
towards me. The headlights were beaming on my face and I had to squint against the
bright light. He practally jumped out of the car, over the hood and made it across
the street in 3 seconds flat. Within those 3 seconds, I had rushed towards him,
slamming into his strong arms that held me like iron gates against his chest. I hung
my arms around his neck and pulled myself closer to him.  Then we put our foreheads
together and stared into eachothers eyes. My faded blue eyes up into his brillant
     "I'm so sorry this happened to you." His breath of mint and pizza breezed into
my face. 
     "It's not your fault." I said seeing the mirror of pain in my eyes in his. 
     "When you're ready, I'll show you how sex is supposed to be. It will be making
love." He wispered nussling my nose. 
     "Then we'll have our Shia." I smiled. He nodded and I brought my lips to his,
expressing all my pain, my loss and my want in that one kiss. He kissed me back also,
mirroring my feelings. He expressed his sorrow and love in that one kiss. I then felt
the warmth from his kiss course through my body. This was love. This
was what it felt like to feel love. We were both getting short on breath, so I
reluctantly broke our kiss and looked into his eyes again.
     "I love you," I whispered. He gave me a quick peck on the nose.
     "I love you to, Taylor." He said letting go of my waist and traded that for my
hand as he led me to the truck. This time I liked being pulled towards a vehicle.
With a warm smile he led me to the passenger seat like an old-school gentleman and
shut the door behind him. Within seconds, he was in the drivers seat bringing the
acient truck to life. I leaned across the armrest and kissed his cheek, loving how
even he blushed. 
     "Alright, you need to keep your beautiful-ness to a minimum while I'm driving. I
can't get distracted." he joked, moving the truck forward. We laughed together now,
soprano and bass. This was the love I wanted so much. What had happened to night was
going to haunt me for the remainder of my life, but my new vision of sex would change
when I was ready to let Dustin make love to me. Once I removed the sin within me, I
would be free to mother the correct child. Then Dustin and I would live happily ever
after like all lovers do. I really believed that as we crawled into bed and he hummed
to me untill I fell asleep. When I woke in the morning, he was still there, and
sleeping like a baby. 
     Soon, I whispered to myself. Soon I will give Dustin a daughter and we
will forget about that past night.

NiikShotTheLoveBullet says:   13 September 2009   964313  
‹She'llFlyThatBlackHawkDown♥.› says :   13 September 2009   593591  
Yup =/

Next entry: Breaking dawn DRAMAZ in category (general)
Related Entries
Rissaemcardle: The Song That Explains My Life Right Now - Pain By Three Days Grace
Naono: Pain lyrics by Three Days Grace music
‹The_Angel_Of_Chaos›: pain
kazuko_neko: pain- three days grace lyrics
‹xXHeart_Bleeding_See_The_TearsxX›: pain song lyrics

About Kupika    Contact    FAQs    Terms of Service    Privacy Policy    Online Safety
Copyright © 2005-2012