Friday, 28 August 2009
10:27:12 PM (GMT)
I find it ironic that amongst the multitude of films that are produced and
categorized under the loose genre of 'chick-flick' all follow the same outline of
events in which two people fall in love over the course of the movie and consequently
end up together, marking the end of the film. The entire purpose of these movies is
to tell the events, which lead to a ‘happily-ever-after’, for lack of a better
term, when, which is 'achieved' by a marriage or final kiss and then left to be
inferred. The cynical scoff at this inferred future of love and happiness; say they
split up in two weeks? It's unbelievable because it simply doesn't happen like that
outside of the movies. But if these films are based simply on the improbable fairy
tale of meeting the perfect man by chance, why do they continue to make millions year
after year in the box office?
Perhaps it could be that we want to be loved. It's a human need as much as a
widespread desire which films of such nature quell with simple fantasies to fill the
mind. Although love, according to intelligent design, is a human necessity we find
great difficulty in defining such an idea as love. There is, however, a poisonously
widespread preconceived notion of love throughout the silently understood norms of
society as displayed in movies and other media that describes love as a fantastical
and unachievable state of ecstasy. What people often fail to realize is that 'love'
is not and cannot just be lovey-dovey hearts and flowers, and that love is hard and
love is painful and very frightening. True love is often extremely difficult.
However, we are often told otherwise. This sort of understood standard, especially in
America, is subtly shoved down our throats from day one. It wordlessly dictates what
we must do and achieve in our lifetime in order to gain happiness. Before we die we
must be married and have children, buy a nice car and house, weigh less than 150lbs,
the list goes on. It's a one-size-fits-all answer to "What do you want to be when you
grow up?" that we are plagued with as children. It's as if this is the right answer
after we say that we want to be firemen and astronauts and veterinarians: a logical
and accepted answer. What we don't realize is that these things or achievements are
not necessary to life and happiness. We're told that we want these things, but we
never stop and ask ourselves what is it that we really want? It's because of this
preconceived notion that love becomes hard to explain; it's explained that love is an
extravagant fantasy and we feed off this fantasy. We want this unrealistic harlequin
romance. Perhaps we want these fantastic qualities because in truth, we are afraid to
face love as it is. It requires a lot of strength to completely trust someone with
your happiness and love can actually be considered the greatest test a human can
“Love stinks. The preconceived notion of love is an unrealistic ideal… like what
it's expected to be is not what it is…True love [is] nursing someone back to
health, cleaning up vomit, loving them in spite of them doing something that might
hurt you, loving someone in spite of their faults.” -Kathy Waterman. In this way, I
feel that love is measured less in superficiality and more in the fear of losing
someone. Love, I have personally come to find, can often be successfully measured by
the frequency of scenarios imagined by a lover in which he or she faces the death or
loss of the one or ones loved. This fear comes from the uncertainty of the future. In
Ted Dekker’s fiction of love and suspense, BLINK OF AN EYE: Love Changes
Everything, Seth Border finds himself entangled in the political struggles of the
middle-east as he spends two weeks together with a fugitive Saudi Arabian princess,
fleeing the government agents of two separate nations in a multitude of stolen cars,
living on Dr. Pepper, Doritos, and Beef Jerky. As the chase progresses, they find
avoiding capture much easier as Seth develops a growing sense of clairvoyance in
which he sees and chooses from a multitude of possible futures. Because he can see
what will happen and slowly comes to trust his new ability, he doesn’t fear losing
Miriam because he can see and prevent any future that involves her death. However,
when she returns to Saudi Arabia and Seth’s new ability is now dwindling, he is
tormented by the thought of losing her. Now that he can’t see and now that she’s
not with him, he can’t predict and prevent anything from happening to her.
Realizing this, he goes to her in Saudi, where as he’d feared, she had fallen right
back into Omar’s trap. As they’re escaping, he expresses the fear and love he’d
had for her when she left.
“Did I tell you that I couldn’t get you off my mind?” he asked.
“I was on your mind in America?” She asked. He, too, then.
“Like a plague.”
“Is that a good thing?”
“Depends on how deadly the plague is.” Seth said.
“Now your American jargon is losing me.”
“It depends on whether you have the same plague that I have,” he said.
She thought about that. He was referring to his feelings for her, and he was asking
if she shared them, if she loved him as he did her.
“How could I possibly not love you?” She said softly.
Humans are designed to love, if not just in simple forms of needing nurturing parents
and interaction with other humans. However, some can say since the fall of man we
have feared, we fear what we don’t understand and fear what might hurt us. Because
we fear, we find it difficult to trust, which is the basis of love.
Last edited: 30 August 2009