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ABOMINATION (update)Category: (general)
Saturday, 21 March 2009
05:57:04 AM (GMT)
~Abomination.~
Why?
~Abomination.~
It’s so natural.
~Abomination.~
Then where do these feelings come from?
~Detestable.~
It’s how He made me.
~Detestable.~
I’ve already waited
--TOO LONG--
Already fought
--TOO LONG--
To just have to hear those words.
~Detestable.~
NO!
I
Don’t
Feel
Detestable
So
Why
Am
I?!?
~Abomination.~
I don’t want to hear it.
Put to death?
Is that what I get
For feelings I can’t
CONTROL?
~Godlessness.~
~Wickedness.~
Is my foolish heart darkened?
Is that why I feel like I do?
~Wicked.~
How so?
I am human and I need to be loved
Just
Like
Everybody
Else.
So why is what I want so…‘detestable’?
~Lawbreaker.~
~Rebel.~
~Ungodly.~
~Sinful.~
~Unholy.~
~Pervert.~
~Liar.~
~Perjurer.~
~ABOMINATION.~
…
…
…
The advice of one,
The judgment of another.
They all collide,
Making my life more complicated than it already was.
~Abomination.~
My heart agrees.
~Abomination.~
But
WHY???
~Lust…lust of the eye, lust of the flesh, the pride of life…~
How do you fight lust
When you have to keep 
The heart of the problem
A secret?
~Abomination.~
SHUT UP!
Either help me or GO AWAY!
I hate your CONDEMNATION
As much as YOU seem to hate ME!
~Detestable, ungodly, sinful abomination.~
Is that it?
Is that what I am?
Is that ALL that I am?
Is that the core of my being?
This one defect, does it completely corrupt Your view of me?
Is that what I am to You?
…
Are you finished?
~Abomination.~
Forget I asked.
…
If that is all that I am,
Then what are You?
~Creator.~
~Redeemer.~
~Savior.~
~Friend.~
I can’t see You as that
When all I am to You is
~Abomination.~
But still, I am faced with a choice.
Give You my life,
And choose to fight the sin nature.
Refuse You,
And give in.
~Be still and know that I AM GOD.~
You’re not helping.
Why can’t You explain to me
Why You’ve given me
This character,
This nature,
This mindset,
And yet still expect me 
To fight it?
~Abomination.~
Two can play that game.
How’s this?
*Unfair.*
*Deprived.*
*Unloved.*
Unloved because of YOUR CURSE!
~Detestable. Ungodly. Irreligious. Amoral. Child of sacrilege.~
How about *Monster*?
~Abomination.~
When I make my choice,
I can’t thank You.
Because
You didn’t help at all.
God…
Where have You gone?


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