Saturday, 7 February 2009
11:29:27 PM (GMT)
enjoy, and don't be a copying cunt.
With the spring term just around the corner, I found myself standing in
Front of the main campus bulletin board, in search of a suitable place to
Stay. It was my sophomore year at university, and the thought of spending
Another day at home with my parents wasn't exactly what I had in mind.
However, after spending nearly an hour pursuing the wall, I hadn't struck
Gold quite yet.
Just before I decided to give up, I eyed a small sheet pinned on the
board with the following caption:
Single White Female seeks Female roommate for semester preferably hot,
Or at least brainy, but I'll settle No bitchiness either. You know the
Drill. Call 555-3825
Normally such an ad would probably be the last one I would even bother
considering, but the address was near the campus and I knew the
neighborhood well. Even still, I was having a hard time analyzing the
actual content of the ad.
"Whatever," I thought to myself. "Probably her idea of a joke to scare
away bad roommates."
With that in mind, I pulled out my cell and dialed the number. After
about ten rings I let out a sigh and hung up.
"Damn, the only worthwhile place to stay this term and there's no one
Then, just as I finished my sentence, my phone rang in my hand,
startling me back to attention.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Who are you?" said the voice on the other end.
"Who am I talking to, nimrod?"
The voice was more than a little sarcastic, almost exactly like the
content of the ad. A flashbulb went off in my head.
"Lexa," I replied.
"What?" came the voice again.
"Lexa, my name is Lexa."
"Okay, okay, calm down. What can I do for you, Lexa?"
I raised the ad up in front of my face, peering at the print more
closely with my eyes.
"I'm inquiring about your roommate ad for this semester. Have you found
There was a pause on the other end, followed by a few shuffling sounds.
"Do you like to go clubbing, Lexa?" the voice asked.
I paused myself for a moment.
"Not really," I replied, honestly.
"Me neither, I hate it," she smirked.
"Umm, the roommate thing?" I asked, trying to get back to the real
"Oh you, okay you got it. Drop by this afternoon and I'll help you
Her abrupt answer caught me off guard.
"Okay... that's it?"
"Well, you, what did you expect? Having to fight with the other
applicants to the death?"
"Never mind," I answered. "So what time should I meet you."
"Try after two, I should be back by then."
"Okay. Umm, I didn't get your name."
"You're right, you didn't," she said, nonchalantly.
"What is your name, may I ask?"
"I don't give out personal information over the phone."
"But you don't mind posting your phone number on a public bulletin
"You have a problem with that?" she asked.
I shook my head, smirking inwardly.
"No, it's fine. I'll see you at two then."
"See ya, Lexa," she replied, before quickly hanging up on her end.
I looked at my phone for a few more seconds, before placing it back in
"This should be interesting," I said to myself.
By the time 2pm rolled around, I was already sitting out front of the
apartment complex in my car, gazing at the building with suspicious eyes.
Slowly, I got out of my car and walked up to the front door. I peered at
the buzzer list, stopping on the ad's number, 369. Strangely enough, it
was the only listing on the whole board with the tenant's first name
scratched out. I pressed the button, swallowing the anxiety I had built up
throughout the course of the afternoon. I didn't have to wait long before
the speaker came to life.
"You're early, squirt," came a loud, distorted voice.
"Pardon?" I asked, confused.
"Oops, shit... Who is this?"
"It's Lexa. Umm, your new roommate?"
"Oh ya, right. Come on up."
The door buzzed and I pulled it open, leaving my car parked out front.
As I made my way into the elevator and up to the third floor, I found
myself fidgeting madly with my keys, trying to hide my nervousness. I
pulled out the ad from the bulletin board just as I reached the door for
suite 369. Before I had a chance to knock, the door swung open, revealing
the figure of the sarcastic voice I had been conversing with over the
"Hi," I said, trying my best not to stutter. "I'm Lexa."
She was wearing a wrinkled black tank top with pink trim and a pair of
blue jeans. Her hair was short and blonde with dark brown tips, which
matched her dark eyes. She had a pair of headphones around her neck that
Was playing a very fast, noisy tune. Her expression quickly changed from
an almost angry glare to a sarcastic grin.
"Holy shit," she said, without skipping a beat.
"What?" I asked, looking over my shoulder and back at her, confused.
She seemed to be eyeing me very intently.
"Nothing, nothing. I'm Jordan, Lexa. Come right in I'll give ya the
Her eyes seemed to pass over my frame as I walked past her and into the
apartment. From the looks of her attire I half expected the place to be a
mess but thankfully it seemed fine. The living room had two couches and a
TV, and across from it was a dining room table next to the kitchen. The
windows looked out over the neighborhood and the afternoon sun was spilling
into the room from outside.
"This is nice," I said, looking around and turning the first corner.
Jordan raised both arms and spun around slowly, as if to show off the
"Isn't it? It had better be for the rent I pay. But I guess I can
thank you now for taking half of that bullet for me."
She walked into the living room, pointing with one hand while the other
raised her headphones back to her ears.
"TV's there, and the bathroom is over there. Cheers."
Then, with her headphones back on her head, she plunked down onto one of
the couches as if I had just disappeared altogether. I gave an odd look,
turning around and noticing that the front door was still open. I reached
over and closed it, turning back to Jordan as she buried her head in a
"Umm... I'll go down and get my stuff I guess."
A few hours later, as I was standing in what was supposed to be my new
bedroom, I heard a knock on the door. I looked up from the clutter of
boxes to see Jordan standing at the door, holding a towel.
"I'm gonna have a shower now," she said, in her usual matter-of-fact
I looked at my watch.
"At 4:15 in the afternoon?"
Jordan grabbed the door frame and dragged herself back in front of it,
"You got a problem with that?"
"Oh, no... I mean, of course not," I said, stumbling over my words.
"Good," she remarked, turning away from the door and throwing her towel
over her shoulder.
I stood up, still holding the contents of one of my boxes until I heard
the first sound of a showerhead from across the hallway. Shrugging off the
little exchange, I went back to work unpacking.
After a few minutes, the faint sound of rushing water stopped and the
bathroom door opened. I kept my back turned to the door as the sound of
"Need any help?" Jordan asked, this time not sarcastically.
I turned around to see her standing with a partially wet towel wrapped
around her torso and dripping wet hair. The initial sight caught me off
guard and I couldn't help but turn red.
"Uhh, no I think I should be fine, Jordan, thanks..."
"Jord is fine, and yes you do need help," she said, cutting me off in
"Yes, you do. I hate all of that social bullshit that goes around with
asking for help. Someone asks to help to be nice, but the person declines
to be nice back, and the other person insists and blah, blah, so on and so
forth. Let's skip that and get down to business, kay?"
"Okay..." I said, a little confused.
Jordan approached me and leaned over to pick up a pile of my clothes
from a box. The fresh smell of her skin and hair filled my nostrils and
her close proximity gave me Goosebumps under my clothes. I tried to hide
it but Jordan's eyes seemed to fixate on my expression the whole time.
Still, without even acting like it happened, she stood back to full height
and peered at the clothes in her hands.
"Nice," she said, commenting on one of my tops. "Can I wear this one
"Umm, sure," I replied, still a little nervous.
"Where would you like it?"
"The closet is blocked off right now, but I guess we can just move to
the bed, I mean you can... move it to the bed."
"Right," she said, smirking.
Jordan turned and walked over to the bed, setting out the pile of
clothes with her back turned. I found myself staring at her legs instead
of sorting the junk still in my hands.
"So what are you studying, Jordan. At university, I mean."
"The usual business crap," she uttered, still bent over. "I could care
"Oh, wow," I answered, under my breath. I decided that changing the
subject would probably be the best choice of action. "I like your hair, by
the way. I've thought of changing mine to something like that."
Jordan turned back to face me once more.
"I hate it. It makes me think I've lost a bet or something every time I
look in the mirror."
"Well, I think it looks nice," I answered, trying to remain positive.
Jordan reached up with her hands and slicked her hair back.
"You don't look half bad yourself, Lexa."
She walked back over to me, stopping a little closer than normal.
"Girlfriend?" she asked.
"Do you have a girlfriend?" she asked, this time more directly.
"No..." I replied, nervously. "I don't."
"Have you ever had one?"
"I'm not sure I understand your definition of girlfriend," I said,
feeling my stomach twisting with apprehension.
Jordan smirked, putting her hands back on her hips.
"Okay, I'll make this one simple for ya," she began, looking up at the
ceiling for a moment. "Are you into girls, Lexa?"
I paused for a moment, speechless.
"Well, I... I mean..."
"A simple yes or no will do," she said, interrupting.
"I'm not quite sure," I said, not really ready to give a real answer.
"So you don't know yet?"
"Well, I guess."
"Would you like to find out?" she asked, still smirking.
"Don't worry, it's actually quite simple. Would you like to take the
My heart was pounding madly inside my chest, and I wasn't sure whether
it was out of fear or excitement. I almost didn't answer, but finally
found the words.
"What's the test?"
Jordan tilted her head slightly.
"Well, I'm going to kiss you very intimately, and all you have to tell
me is whether you like it or not. Easy."
"On the lips?" I asked.
"Well, since it's you, we'll start out slow just to make sure."
I stood perfectly still, practically shaking on the spot as Jordan
narrowed her eyes and took a step forward until our faces were less than a
few inches apart. We were about the same height, though I seemed to stand
about a half-inch taller. Jordan's chest pressed lightly against mine as
she slowly looked up and down my face with her eyes. I could feel my heart
still pounding, and I knew she could feel it too now that we were so close.
My body's reaction seemed to add to her confident grin as she lowered her
lips to my neck. I felt her warm breath against my skin, and then finally
the soft touch of her lips against the side of my neck, just by my
shoulder. I nearly collapsed on the spot from the mere touch as a shock of
something... lightning, coursed through my body beginning at the very
point of contact.
I gasped softly, as I felt a second light kiss slightly higher on my
neck. My arms trembled as I kept them locked at my sides, unable to move.
I felt the heat from Jordan's wet body, and a similar wave of heat coursed
through my veins, followed immediately by a nervous cold. Jordan withdrew
from my neck and returned on the opposite side, kissing my trembling skin a
third time. I felt her wet hair against my cheek and the soft whisper of
her breath near my ear. I held my eyes closed tight, still in shock over
the sensations my body was experiencing over such a small act. Just as I
thought I was about to fall over, Jordan raised her head back up and took a
step backwards, still maintaining a close proximity.
"Well," she began, in a slightly softer voice, "did you like it?"
I staggered on the spot, finding my footing as I stumbled over my
"You're right. I find that it's a little tough to form an opinion using
the neck. Let's try something a little more... direct."
Jordan drew her face closer to mine once more, pressing her nose against
mine softly for a moment before I felt our lips meet with a light kiss. It
only lasted for a moment before she slowly withdrew, but she quickly
followed with a second, and a third, each time shifting her head slightly
as I stood paralyzed. It was something I'd never experienced before. I
was being kissed the way I would kiss another person, myself.
I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand on end as I just stood and
let Jordan kiss me, slowly and softly with each meeting of our lips. My
arms trembled at my sides, and I raised them up and let them rest on
Jordan's hips as she did the same. I began to lose track of how long we
remained in our embrace, until she finally stepped back and took a long,
"Now what do you think?" she asked, softly.
"I... I think..."
Before I could finish, our moment was interrupted by the sound of a loud
buzzing coming from the living room. Jordan cringed and hesitantly began
to turn away.
"Great," she said, annoyed. "Of course she had to show up now."
I shook my head, taking a moment to come back into reality.
"Who?" I asked.
"My idiot of a friend. I thought she wasn't coming but I guess I was
Jordan stomped into the living room and over to the door just as I made
my way to the door of my bedroom and peeked out to see her hit the button
on the intercom.
"Perfect timing, squirt," she said, groaning. Without giving the guest
a chance to answer she hit the button to buzz her up and turned away from
the door, stomping back towards me. "Do me a favor and let her in, will
ya? I'll be a minute."
"Okay," I said quietly , as Jordan passed by me and slammed her bedroom
door shut behind her.
Still standing inside my bedroom I turned towards the front door just as
a series of loud knocks began sounding from the other side. They continued
as I walked across the apartment and didn't cease until I finished
unlocking and opening the door. There, with her arm still outstretched for
knocking stood Jordan's supposed friend.
"Whoops, oh my god, I'm so sorry, I think I must have the wrong
apartment. Do you know where Jordan moved to? Oh my god, I can't believe
she didn't tell me, I can't believe this."
"No, it's okay, Jordan is here. I'm her new roommate is all."
"Oh," she uttered, quickly recovering her composure. "Well, I'm
Jordan's friend Abigail, but Jordan calls me Abi, or at least I'd like her
to but she usually calls me by some childish insult or something."
"Right," I added, with one eyebrow raised. "I'm Lexa. I guess you want
to come in?"
She was already past me and inside the apartment before I even spoke.
At first glance, Abi was practically the opposite of Jordan. She also had
short blonde hair, but it was slightly darker and tied back behind her
head. Her eyes were a very bright green and seemed to glow with a very
vibrant life. On that same token though, she seemed to be a bit of a klutz
on her feet while still appearing very wiry and energetic. She walked
nearly as fast as she talked, and stumbled over her words a lot. Again,
nothing like Jordan.
Dragging her sandals across the ground, Abi walked into the apartment
without lifting her feet from the floor once. Then, as if it was her own
place she threw her jacket onto the kitchen table and stumbled over to the
window. I turned and closed the door, and immediately Abi seemed to
remember I was in the room and walked right back towards me, stopping right
in my face.
"So where's Jordan, she is here, I heard her voice on the intercom when
I came up."
"She's in her..."
"Her bedroom, right? Either that or the bathroom but I saw the bathroom
door wasn't closed when I threw my coat onto the table so that pretty much
only leaves the bedroom."
I grabbed my forehead, feeling a bit of a headache coming on.
"I think I need to sit down."
Making my way over to the couch, Abi followed right behind and slumped
down onto an adjacent chair at the exact same time I sat down. She held
her hands in her lap and looked back and forth across the apartment with a
near manic energy.
"Do you like it here, Lexa?" Abi asked, finally looking over at me.
I didn't answer at first, as I waited for another three or four
sentences to quickly follow in Abi's single breath. Finally I looked up
"Well, it's only been about three hours, but it's definitely been..."
"I used to date Jordan, you know, before she moved here, but we're still
best friends now."
"Really?" I said, surprised.
"Oh ya, we dated for eight months and one fort night, but we're still
really close and we talk all the time now which I'm glad for. I've always
hated ending relationships on a bad note so we agreed to stay friends and
still see each other, and it's never gotten weird or anything which you
would think it would but I guess we were lucky, don't you think?"
I shook my head.
"I'm sorry... did you just ask me a question?"
Before Abi could start up another speech, Jordan stepped into the living
room, dressed in the same top that only minutes ago she had pulled from my
boxes and commented on. Her hair was still wet as she looked over at Abi
and then back at me.
"I see you've met little miss exuberant."
Abi stuck out her tongue as Jordan made her way to the kitchen and
opened the refrigerator, pulling out a can of soda.
"Nice top," I commented.
Jordan smirked and flashed me a quick wink.
"I told you," she grinned.
"So, you two used to date?"
"Unbelievable, isn't it?"
Abi picked up a pillow from the couch and threw it at Jordan, who
knocked it aside without even looking.
"She's just jealous that she's never had anyone better than me since,"
"She's got me there, I guess, " Jordan said, as she sat down on the
couch beside me. She took a sip from her soda and flashed me her seductive
smile. "But I'm working on that."
"So, Lexa," Abi began, "are you, umm, like you know..."
Last edited: 8 February 2009