Hello again random peoples!
I highly doubt any of you care to read my rantings...
I've decided I would give my somwhat interesting life story.
I was born.
I was probably accidentally created.
In fact, I'm pretty sure I was an accident.
I was birthed on quite a scream filled day to a mother whom I suppose my small
newborn head thought would love me forever.
Yea, then again I was a newborn with new dreams ready to be crushed.
I began my life in a small and slightly humble town in Alabama. My father either quit
or got fired from his job when I was six, and he drank his sanity away.
He killed himself on the day of my seventh birthday.
My mother began to go insane.
I met JayDee, or Jasmine Dezeree, when I was just about to turn 8.
JayDee was an interesting child and I think she released my inner demon. She was
fearless, adventerous and even at age 9 she knew for a fact that she did NOT like
boys, she liked girls. She was a vegetarian who ate meat, according to her. She
oredered cheese burgers without cheese and SWORE they were different. JayDee was
everything I wanted to be.
I was always at her house, avoiding the fights and my mothers depressing insanity
that filled my house, and her parents loved me like I was their own.
I was determined to be just like JayDee.
I told her that when I was 12, and she slapped me.
She told me to be who I was not who SHE was. She told me if I was a clingy bitch
inside then to BE A FREAKING CLINGY BITCH. She said if I was a hardcore rocker
son-of-a-gun cuss you out in two seconds flat type of girl, THEN BE THAT TYPE OF
Yea. Not only did that sting my face, it stung straight down to my soul.
I didn't talk to JayDee for a couple of years.
During that amount of time, JayDee moved away to Georgia. I was left alone, and some
days I would run outside in the middle of the woods and scream as loud as I could.
Then I met Isaac.
Isaac heard me one time, and he was afraid I was hurt.
I just told him I was insane.
And strangely and unlike ANYONE else I had told that to.
He wanted to help.
Since then Isaac is the kind of friend who knows when I'm completely quiet and
unmoving that I'm lost in my own thought and need a hug to come find me.
I turned thirteen.
My mother killed herself the day after.
I moved in with my oldest brother who was 23. Along with my little sister.
I cut myself for a little while.
But then, I met Ryan and Miracle and Maycee.
The craziest friends I'll ever have.
Ryan was unafraid of being a flirt. Would make-out with me and then wouldn't talk to
me for days and days, then would make-out again and do the same. We never dated. He
was never single but never taken. I don't think he's ever not cheated on a
And girls love him for it.
Miracle was quiet. She read all the time and she introduced me to the wonderful world
of manga. And art. She learned I had a talent for drawing. And from there she taught
me how to draw. Miracle was pure and quiet but she admitted that she wasn't a virgin
and that Ryan was to blame.
I simply laughed.
Maycee was the kind of girl who would threaten to beat the living shit out of you,
and MEANT IT. She was a rebel and she broke all kinds of rules. When we first met she
called me a pansy and a preppy bitch.
I gave her a black eye because that pissed me off.
From now on, she calls me a notorious wonder who is one day gonna get hurt.
I discovered the wonder of music when I was 14. My teachers found I was advanced at
it, and the praised me for it.
I had never experienced that before.
I met back up with JayDee.
She fell in love with Maycee and they've been dating ever since.
I was 15 when I met Zooey.
She made me question whether I was straight or not. She was beautiful in her own
And it drove me INSANE.
I didn't know WHAT I was feeling and I didn't understand it at all.
I HATED THAT FEELING.
But then she kissed me.
And I understood.
But I knew I still liked guys.
AND JayDee pulled off the blanket over my eyes, explained a few things and threw me
We've been dating for a few months now.
Both my brothers are married now, my little sister is 9 and perfectly fine.
I've yet to totally figure myself out and I think I remember that day JayDee told me
to be myself far too much.I don't know anything execpt for the little things that
make me happy.
Listening to music.
AND every single one of my friends.
So maybe I'll figure it out one day.
But for now I'm just...
Living life as it hits me fast.