Thursday, 31 July 2008
12:57:48 AM (GMT)
The title is a cliche, I know. >_>
Okay, I insult Bebe and Wendy in this fic, but it's from a ten-year-old boy's point
of view! So don't think I hate them or anything.
Sixteen-year-old Kyle barged into ten-year-old Ike's room, not bothering to knock.
Ike, however, didn't notice because he was listening to songs on his MP3 player with
his eyes closed on his bed. It was so loud that even Kyle, who was digging around his
room a few feet away, could hear it.
Ike bobbed his head up and down, humming quietly to the tune of the song.
"Alright, where is it?!" Kyle yelled.
Ike opened his eyes, looking calmly at Kyle's angry face. He removed his earphones
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about my ushanka, you little bastard!" With that, he continued digging
Ike slowly grinned, taking the ushanka out from under his pillow and adjusting it on
his head. He thought that, now that Kyle was old and mature, he could control his
anger. Unfortunately, it stayed the same. Except that his 'fro was smaller and he was
Kyle turned around, realized the ushanka was on his little brother's head, and
snatched it from his head. Ike stuck his tongue out at him. That ushanka was Kyle's
most prized possession from his childhood.
"KYLE!" their mother called from downstairs.
"WHAT?!" Kyle yelled back.
"Pissy," Ike sang, still grinning.
"TAKE YOUR BROTHER OUTSIDE!"
"WHY?! I HAVE MY OWN LIFE TO LIVE!" Kyle usually took his anger out on the first
person to talk to him.
Ike stood up, already in shoes, clothes, etc. Their mother frequently made them take
a walk or something, so usually he was prepared.
Kyle stomped downstairs, and Ike casually followed behind, sticking his earphones in
his ears again.
Luckily, Kyle was calm when they reached the sidewalk.
"So where we heading?" Ike asked as they walked passed their house.
"Where else?" Kyle replied, sticking his hands in the pockets of his pants. "The
park. Walk around once."
Ike shrugged, adjusting his navy blue jacket. "M'kay."
They reached the park quicker than imagined.
"Hey, Kyle!" Stan called once he noticed the boy. "Up for some football?"
"Sorry, not right now!" Kyle replied. "I have to take the dog out for a walk!"
Ike punched his brother in the side. "Damn you."
Kyle laughed, rubbing his side.
The park was big. One walk around would take a few minutes. Ike sighed, but didn't
He stared at the park, where Kyle and his friends hung out. A lot.
First, he noticed Wendy and Bebe, sitting on a bench, chatting.
Those girls were psychotic. PSYCHOTIC. In capital letters.
Wendy got "confused feelings" about boys all the time. First it was Cartman, and then
Kenny, then Kyle, then Craig, then Clyde, then Token- This list could go on and on.
They weren't even "confused feelings". It was more like "whore-phases" (as Ike called
it). And, of course, she was still a prima donna. She will do ANYTHING to catch a
boy's attention. Especially if the plans include wearing spandex.
Bebe tried to marry her gun. How is that NOT psychotic? She carries the thing around
all the time. In fourth grade, she pointed it at her best friend, her best friend's
boyfriend, and and her best friend's boyfriend's best friend. Also known as "Mr.
Great-Ass" in Bebe's book. Ike always wondered what was up with Bebe and Kyle's ass.
All she talks about is her gun, shoes, and Kyle's ass. Ike swore his ears bled once.
Ike made a face as he looked at the girls.
"Hey, baby!" Bebe called at Kyle.
Kyle grinned and waved.
"Dude, if you like her, ask her the hell out!" Ike suggested.
"How do you know we're not going out?" Kyle turned to him.
Ike cracked a smile, and placed his hands behind his head. "I know, dude, I know," he
Kyle scowled, confused, at him, stopping. "What?"
Ike stopped, too. "Dude, I've hung out with you gaywads instead of people my age, I'm
bound to notice some kind of pattern." He let out an awkward laugh.
Kyle blinked, and then continued walking. He grunted to let Ike know he understood.
Ike continued smiling, then quickly caught up to his brother.
Hey, now that I'm 'examining' people, he thought. Why not Kyle? Well, what is there
to say about Kyle?
He used to be short, but then puberty hit him and his classmates like a train.
Quickly, he outgrew his friends.
Also, Kyle had mood swings. He would shout angrily at the pink flowers outside
because they "didn't belong there", but then he would quickly skip outside, kiss
them, and apologize about a dozen times.
...Okay, maybe that was exaggerating. Ike's face twisted up, trying to stifle a
laugh. But Kyle did have absolutely outrageous mood swings.
Ike glanced at Kyle's best friend, Stan, throwing a football high into the air and
catching it perfectly. Ike had been told several times he was very Stan-esque, from
his black hair to his "I-wonder-if-I-give-a-crap" attitude.
Stan was even more athletic than before, if that was possible. And (from what Ike had
been told), he was one of the most popular dude in high school.
Eh, Ike admitted to himself. I can see why he's popular.
Handsome, muscular, and a spotlight-stealer without even trying. Ike lazily wondered
if any dudes envied him or something.
Sometimes Ike wondered what Kyle and Stan did when they were both alone. Probably
groped each other's asses and feed each other chocolate.
Damn, Bebe would be wicked mad.
But they both deny it, saying that they're "just friends".
Suuuuure...Just keep telling yourself that, champ.
Ike spotted Cartman under a tree, a permanent glower on his face. Whether he was
listening to music or not, Ike couldn't tell from the angle he was looking at him
What to say about Mr. Eric-Fucking-Cartman?
He was still as manipulative as ever. He doesn't give a crap about romantic
relationships, (it was rumored he wanted to marry Cheesy Poofs. Does that count?) and
he cares for nobody but himself.
Ike learned the hard way that, if you're younger than Cartman (especially if
you're younger than Cartman), you should stay on his good side.
Finally, Ike realized he had only one more person to examine. As he walked, his eyes
looked underneath a different tree- Only to realize that person wasn't there.
Ike suddenly remembered. That person was dead.
Kenny had been dead...for...what, now? One year?
He died in the hospital because something went wrong with his heart.
The three people closest to Kenny had different reactions.
Stan walked away. Being the most sensitive, he couldn't bear looking his dying friend
in the eye.
Cartman tried to cure Kenny, the fucking know-it-all bastard thought he could do
Kyle stuck by his side, day and night. He comforted Kenny, feeding him lies that he
would be alright.
Of course, his other friends visited, including Ike.
But one year passed, and Kenny didn't come back. The others moved on like Kenny never
Ike was Kenny's friend. Besides Kyle, he visited him a lot in the hospital, more than
Seeing as the three hung out with him a lot and watched him die almost everyday, Ike
could see how they could move on easily.
Ike frowned and let out a sad sigh.
His older brother eyed him curiously, but Ike shook his head, to rid himself of the
memory, and to let his brother know it was nothing.
Ike looked around. They were back where they started. "Oh." He turned to look up at
his brother, but he already abandoned him for Stan.
He scowled, then shook his fist at the two in the park, throwing a football around.
He sat on a bench nearest to him (and luckily far away from Miss Confused-Slut and
He decided to reflect on himself.
What was there to reflect?
He was satisfied in himself; he saw no way to improve. He was calm, cool, collected,
nonchalant, and impassive, with an indifferent attitude.
Or he was just a lackadaisical boy.
"Yeah," Ike mumbled to himself, closing his eyes and resting his hands behind his
head. "Lackadaisical works."