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This diary entry is written by Fabby. ( View all entries )
 
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Top 10 reasons why teenage relationships will inevitably fail.Category: (general)
Sunday, 30 December 2007
10:53:53 AM (GMT)
The Top 10 Reasons Why Teenage Relationships Fail...
Written by Fabby.

Okay, so being fifteen and watching a good number of high school relationships I've
seen many fatal flaws repeated over and over. Even so, nobody but me and a select few
other sane people have realized it and try to avoid it. So here I have compiled for
your viewing pleasure the 10 reasons why I most commonly see a relationship fall to
pieces. How many have you fallen curse to?


1. Because they're so damn superficial!
To be fair, everyone is affected by looks to some degree. It's biology's way of
trying to get us to make babies with the most desirable mate possible (hence good
babies). Unfortunately, many teenagers have the attitude of "I will only date him if
he's hot!"
Several problems with this. First of all, they pass up all the good guys/girls that
would make them happy simply because they're under average or even average in looks.
Secondly, the hot people are shallow (it's a stereotype, I know, but it's so often
true) and if you date someone shallow... well, it just won't work, probably for one
of the reasons below. Lastly, if you date someone only because they're hot, you'll
get bored of them within three days because you don't really like them. You just want
them as a trophy wife. (Figuratively.) Broaden your horizons!

2. Because they expect "the one" to come along on the first try.
It's quite a fatal mistake, really, to think that the one you're going to marry is
going to come along when you're 12 and have just started dating. No, these people are
not the one for you. Of course, thinking that this person is the one... well, it
leads to a lot of complications. Like realizing that you can't stand to be with this
person forever and breaking up with them even though you still like them and want to
be with them but you have "no future". Honestly, when you're this young, you won't
have a future. You don't necessarily have to have a long future with someone to have
some fun and enjoy yourself dating them. Really, how do you expect to find the person
who you want to be with forever when you don't even know what you want in a partner
yet? Seriously.

3. Because they completely lack verbal communication skills.
My god. This is one of the easiest things to fix, yet it destroys A LOT of fucking
relationships. Basically what happens is partner A doesn't like something about
partner B but never mentions it for whatever silly reasons and lets it get to them
until they break up. NOW HOW STUPID IS THAT?! You could simply tell the person that
you don't like X thing about them. You have a good relationship and ruin it over
something silly. e_e'' Just tell them. They might be willing to.. -gasp-..
COMPROMISE!

4. Because they expect their new boyfriend/girlfriend to be absolutely
perfect.
Even sillier than breaking up with someone over something you won't mention is
breaking up with someone because of some small habit. Many teenagers simply do not
understand that there ARE NO perfect people out there. Everyone is going to have
something that they do that will piss you off. What love is (okay, at least one
aspect of it) is accepting the person's flaws and loving them unconditionally
anyway! 

5. Because they fall in love too quickly.
Alright... most of us will fall victim to it at some point. We'll think that we
totally love our new "it" person when in fact we're just infatuated. Frankly, this
isn't really anyone's fault as it's hard to distinguish what love is until you've
really felt it. Unfortunately, teenagers also seem to think that EVERY relationship
they have is love and they get real disappointed when they find out... hmm, it was
only puppy love, the infatuation that they feel at the beginning of a relationship.
Once that fades, they think they're over the person and walk away. What it really is
is the start of a real attachment, but we can't have that. Once that initial spark
fades, the fog that hung over them fades and they see everything clearly; that the
person they've been fucking has FLAWS. They can't deal with it and flee.

6. Because they want to take the good and leave the bad.
Don't expect your "lover" to have every quality you love. Chances are, they won't.
Don't expect them to lack every quality you hate. Don't expect some sort of god;
expect a person with good attributes and bad. Embrace both of them, even if the bad
gets to you. Of course, no one can do that, and they break up with their significant
other because they chew with their mouth open... even though said significant other
treated that person like royalty. You cannot pick and choose what things you like in
a person. You have to accept all of them. This means seeing the bad in someone and
loving it and understanding it and dealing with it. But our favorite little
teenagers... well, they simply want perfection. A ready-made relationship.

7. Because they have no conflict resolution skills, either.
A fight? OH NO! WHAT DO WE DO!? Why, we work it out like normal people do. It's
pretty easy to back out and quit seeing the person just because something bad
happens, but then you never get anywhere. Teenagers never seem to learn this, either.
They run across a conflict and try to avoid it instead of saving the relationship.
I'd say this is one of the most immature things you can do. This one really only
affects the younger relationships.

8. Because they're selfish little brats.
Teenagers want everything their way right then and there. They can't build a bond
like love because they're not willing to give enough. Love is complete and total
selflessness, to want someone's happiness so far above your own that you would
sacrifice anything for them. Teenagers are too selfish to do this, and as such they
can't give enough. They only take from the other person. This means no real bond will
be formed, and... KA-BLAM! No bond, no relationship. End of story.

9. Because thy want a movie romance.
They want to fall in love with the perfect guy in the perfect way with the perfect
kiss and have their own happily ever after. It seems like our teenage girls have been
brainwashed with romance novels and chick flicks and no longer understand the most
fundamental concepts of a relationship while searching for perfection. They think
that true love is effortless. Relationships do take some work to maintain. There will
be fights and rough patches. It's not all peaches and cream, but nobody remembers
that part. They don't want to work. They already worked, their mommy made them do the
dishes because they fired the maid. -_-''

10. Because THEY'RE IDIOTS!
Teenagers are just not ready to handle a commitment! They're unstable, they have no
idea who they are. Their ideals and values and what they want changes more often than
their hair colors. As such, they demand too much and then change their demands on a
whim. With each new demand, their current partner will not fit so they must find a
new one. Really, teenagers are just too immature to deal with a relationship. e_e''



So there you have it, folks. Feel free to repost this if you want, but please leave
my name on it. You won't die if you don't, nor will anyone will you know and your
love life won't be affected in any way. I just want people to see this, I put a bit
of effort into it! XD

-Fabby

Comments 
Lyncheh says:   30 December 2007   462891  
THANK YOU.

Thank you SO FREAKING MUCH. It's so true. I hate all the, "oh i luv
him we wil b together 4ever" stuff.

You are my hero. xD While I wouldn't say *every* teenager can't handle
a relationship, mostly this is 100% correct.
 
Fabby says:   30 December 2007   999127  
Ahhh, you are cool. Thank you <3
I agree, some teenagers can handle relationships, but a vast majority
can't.
Frizzette says:   30 December 2007   734283  
I agree. I'll bear this in mind when I start a relationship.
Sanyu says:   30 December 2007   778664  
My relationship is working ^^

1. To be brutally honest with myself, I'm extremely superficial...
though that comes in dress sense more than anything else for me, which
my boyfriend agrees with anyway so I shall dress him up.

2. Lol the one. I've had a few abusive jerks in the past, and while
oujisama may not be "the one" (I really have no way of knowing what
will happen within 50 years) I am happy right now ^^

3. In the first 8 months of my relationship with oujisama we worked
out A LOT of verbal issues, mostly on his part.

4. Bah, perfect. He pisses me off all the time. I go cry in my corner
of Lolita and come back a happier woman the next day xD

5. Guilty! Luckily the other half wasn't so easily swayed.. it took
him 6 months to tell me he loved me. Now that, ladies and gentleman,
is a keeper.

6. If his downsides are funny and he doesn't mind me laughing at/with
him about them then I'm fine with them xD and even if they aren't... I
deal. I have bad parts to me too and he deals. Fair's fair.

7. Mentioned this before. First 8 months were essential, I tell ya.

8. I will agree with that on my part ^^; I'm a little diva sometimes..
But only toward my family, somehow..

9. I for one can say that I do not want a "movie romance". I want a
best friend who will always be there for me when I'm struggling, and
who will talk to me when they're upset too. I want someone who will
laugh with me and who likes the same things I do. I want someone who
appreciates the aesthetics in life and doesn't take them for granted.
Luckily a lot of my friends are like this anyway. I'm blessed <3

10. AM NOTTTTT D: hehe




2 years in feb. <3
 
Fabby says:   31 December 2007   642712  
Good for you, Sanyu. ^^
See! They exist, I tell you, the sane ones!
x_CJ_Random_x says:   9 January 2008   594822  
Wow. Pretty True actually ! O__O

My Ex- Dumped me because, APPARENTLY, we didn't see each other
enough.
-__-
He's A Jerk =)

I'll have to keep this in mind, as I've fallen head over heels in love
again..
¬¬

Good Job =)
neoeno says:   23 January 2008   265516  
Too many generalisations for my liking, as well as the fact that a
fair number of adults are like this too.

I also don't think that this is global at all. Perhaps the teenagers
you know, in your society. The interesting (and ultimately
enlightening) part is working out what causes people to act this way.

The 'the one' syndrome is very destructive. As you remarked there is
no "the one". So why do people believe there is? Because they spend a
significant portion of their time watching people who find "the one"!
I often refer to it as the Disney syndrome. From a young age this
ideal is put to them as the perfect and deserved lifestyle of
everyone. There are a multitude of problems that are caused by this.

Yeah.. I think I'll be reading through a fair few of your diary
entries. As a warning, I don't mean to offend in anything I say
(unless I obviously do, of course) though it may seem that way,
especially when I am passionate about a subject.
 
Oroborus21 says:   24 January 2008   818746  
arent you in a relationship yourself???? 

i agree wiht a lot of what you say..and having had the benefit of
experience i can say you summed up many points well.

teenage relationships should always be viewed (especially by the ones
in the relationship) as a "temporary learning experience" and nothing
more...
 
Fabby says:   24 January 2008   149584  
I am in a relationship. XD
I'm hoping that I've gained enough maturity to at least venture a
little past the average teenage relationship, but.. meh. We'll see how
it goes.
Just because it might fail doesn't give me a reason not to try. :D
Oroborus21 says:   24 January 2008   724678  
right..i think theres a lot more to be said..and the real mystery
isn't why teen relationships fail cause we could probably add to this
list greatly..

the real mystery is why teens feel so compelled to keep trying and why
some cant seem to be happy unless they are in a relationship...(not
saying that about you, just some observations ive noticed of others)
 
Fabby says:   24 January 2008   324285  
I think that most of it is just lust-driven. After all, teenagers
were bred to fuck each other. Peak of sexual maturity, y'know?
Some of it is probably social pressure. Having a boyfriend has become
such a status token now, that I know some people just NEED a boyfriend
to feel... accepted, I suppose.
And of course, you like a person and you want to be with them. At the
beginning of a relationship, you don't really think about the long
term, just the RIGHT NOW. They think that it's what makes them happy
or whatever.
Missingno says:   10 February 2008   663788  
I know that I'm late and that this is a pretty much pointless
comment, but thanks for taking the time to write this article! I'll be
sure to show this to my love-driven friends! ^___^
 
Fabby says:   10 February 2008   819428  
Comments aren't pointless. I still <3 them, even if they're late.
Wishlo says:   30 June 2011   961044  
This is the most amazing thing I have ever read....! <3 Its just so
true!!!
Yes, i'm guilty of alot of these things -___-... But even I have to
admit, this opened my eyes..!
 
YouNeverTaughtUsThis says:   16 March 2012   224270  
(You have to login before posting your comment)
Rat says:   31 March 2012   267963  
Fabby, your article contradicts itself.  Your #2 states "they expect
"the one" to come along on the first try"... Do you mean they should
look for fleeting relationships instead of looking for more
permanent/lasting?  If so, then ofcourse the relationship will not
last long.
hannah_996 writes :   22 November 2012   749689  
I agree with most of the things that you're saying, but being a
teenager myself, I have to disagree with something you said on number
8. We are not 'too selfish' to sacrifice everything for our
boyfriends/girlfriends. We have to put other things first. Answer me
this, would you sacrifice your family for your partner? Or your
education? I wouldn't. As much as I love my boyfriend dearly and would
do an awful lot for him, my family comes before everything and as my
my education, I need that to make a living for myself.
I dont mean this to sound like I'm arguing or anything, I just wanted
to tell you what I thought xx
 
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