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This diary entry is written by Jamgirl0808. ( View all entries )
 

Hmm...Long introCategory: (general)
Sunday, 21 October 2007
04:16:06 AM (GMT)
Ok, well I is new. And so far, I think a lot of people that go on this website are
emo ten year olds,-Has been looking through journals-, and not very literate. At all.
But, thus I am only thirteen, and my life could be worse. Right now, I am going
through this BITCH, the gossip ones, you know, those ones that just MUST tell some
secret to somebody. Yeah, I made the mistake of telling my crush, and now everyone in
the school but my crush knows...I hope...Somehow...It's weird though, I almost knew
this would happen, but...I told her...Is it possible, in some sick odd way, I WANTED
this to happen? How could that be so? Personally, I don't want a boyfriend, I hate
the feeling of love at my age, because I see so many people be in love, and
because of, my give-in personality. I am scared for myself. I don't want to make a
mistake because of something that could of been avoided from the start. I hate the
feeling of crushes, because I know I don't and will not get them anyhow. I hate the
fact that our generation is being called the "impure" generation. I hate that there
are no mature kids of our time that will step up and give the baby boomers and
earlier X generation, showing them wrong. I am not a whore. I am not a kid. I am not
even tween. I am a teenager, and want to be treated as such, with my indivual rights
and to not have to be expected to have to straighten my hair, to want to go out to
parties, to want to have boyfriends, to want to  fall into the statics of black
america gone wrong, I don't want to be forced to have more children then I can take.
I do want to be treated as if I have integrity, instead of assuming me weird because
I'm not the norm.

That being said.

I think you can guess how I look:
I am African-American.I STILL wear braids, I do not want to relax it, and should not
be peer pressured into doing so. Of course, I am. And it gets harder, and harder, but
I don't want to. Even my mom pressures me sometimes. But I shake it off. Because my
hair will thank me for not putting all those toxins in it. Because that's what
relaxing does. Put unnecessary toxins in your hair to look like white America. They
were born that way for a reason, I am born like this for a reason. It was not meant
to be tampered with. Thus, I don't care what people think of a 27 year old still in
braids, I like it. That's all that matters.Screw those who impose, I don't give a
damn. Although I am still thirteen. =3

I feel disgusted to hear kids at the age of nine curse. I am disgusted to see kids at
the age of four to the pop-lock and drop it. I am disgusted to see so many black
African-American men in Jail for a crime they did not commit. I am disgusted to  see
so many years of our culture slip away. I am disgusted to see people stare at me for
the fact that I live in the ghetto, and go to school with the rich kids, as if I am
not, no, SHOULD NOT be there. I am tired of everyone wishing me away, because I have
a voice. A LOUD ONE. And I refuse to be the norm, I refuse to not be heard, and I
WILL be heard. And there isn't a damn thing you can do about it.

Now I promise you, I is no hypocrite, the only Emo-ness you will see out of me is my
literature, besides that, I am as peppy as can be. Yes, as odd as that may be, I am a
very happy child.  This entry was done at a time of listening to Bjork, one of my
FAVORITE artists. Of course, I love my soul sisters, and R&B singers, but when that
gets to Cliche` I go on to my Bjorkins and my Jap-pop. Because those harajuku girls
can sing. =D

Anyway, yeah I promised you this would be long. <333


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