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This diary entry is written by Titanschick7. ( View all entries )
 
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This is so sad!I cried for like 10 minutes!!! I'm still crying!Category: (general)
Monday, 18 December 2006
01:29:14 AM (GMT)
One day she came home from school just as normal as any other day in her life;
bullied by the jocks and tormented by the anerexic preps. They all said she should
just rot in hell and the girl simply slammed her fist right square into one of those
preppy girl's face. She pretended that the teasing and taunting didn't bother her but
the truth hidden behind her bad attitude and independance was a small child
frightened and wondering why they did and said those nasty things to her. 

Upon arriving home her mother started raising cane because the house wasn't clean
when she got there. As always the girl cussed out her mother and then ran to her room
where she curled up in a ball and cried. All she wanted was to know why...

Then a thought swept through her mind, a thought that hadn't passed since she was
seven. 

"I'll write a letter to Jesus. Even if he never gets it..." she said to herself.

She took pale pink stationery from her bottom dresser droor and a blue ink pen from
the jar on her desk. She then sat and it take any time at all before she started tell
her Lord, (whom she hadn't spoken to in a very long time) everything she felt.


Dear Jesus,
Have you ever felt alone? Afraid and so lost?
Dear Jesus,
Did you think of home as you hung from the cross?
Dear Jesus,
Why is it me and not some other?
Dear Jesus,
I want a better relationship with my mother.
Dear Jesus,
Was it hard to die for your people? Their sins and the bad things they do?
Dear Jesus,
Now you must sit back and cry as you watch what's happening to the world... I would
do the same too.
Dear Jesus,
Is anything ever enough? 
Is money everything to everyone... even us?
Dear Jesus,
Is my life dull and worthless as they say? 
Will I always go through this day after day?
Dear Jesus,
Please tell me, are you really there?
Dear Jesus,
Do you savor me and all races? Treat us equal and fair?
Dear Jesus,
If I pick up this razor blade now
Will you stop me someway, somehow?
Dear Jesus,
Why is it me once again I ask you?
Do I not deserved to be loved by you too?
Dear Jesus,
These last words I tell you here
I am not afraid and I do not fear.
Dear Jesus,
I'm just so lost and afraid.
Like a deck of old cards I've been shuffled and played.
Dear Jesus,
Here I am writing to you when you will never write words I can see
But my dear Jesus I must ask you...

will you show mercy for me?


She folded the letter and laid it on her window sill, then she climbed into bed and
drifted into a deep sleep filled with dreams of her Lord's oopen arms.

The next she awoke so early that it was still dark outside. She looked to the window
sill and took her letter, then she noticed that it wasn't the pink paper she had
used, but a beautiful clean white with golden embroidery on the edges and little
doves sketched into the back. She opened in curiosity and read to herself:


Dear Child,
I am always disappointed in my people and sins
But that doesn't mean that my love for them ends.
Dear Child, 
Who are they to say you're no better than they are?
You're just as beautiful and talented by far.
Dear Child, 
You hold a precious heart and soul.
Dear Child,
Never let anyone turn your warmth to cold.
Dear Child,
I am always with you and I see
The things you have done and the times you cursed me.
Dear Child, 
I am always full of forgiveness and love
For those who kneel down and pray to the above.
Dear Child, 
I do decide your fate 
Destiny and time are things I do make.
But dear Child only you can make your choices.
I simply create outcomes and your conscience clear voices.
Dear Child, 
So now I let you make your own decision.
I let you put one foot ahead and keep straight with your vision.
My dear child you are not blind and I know that you see
How much mercy is raining from me.


Perhaps fate, coincidence or some other outrageous and bazaar miracle happened that
night, but the girl knew for sure what she had to do. She threw out every last one of
her razor blades and went to church that very day...

Comments 
callie11 says:   18 December 2006   962189  
Wow...
 
isabel says:   18 December 2006   375251  
that's really sweet and sad... it made me cry too
Cowyeshia says:   18 December 2006   992871  
Okay, thats a little too deep for anyone who isn't in colledge. But I
guess it was good
prprincess4_22 shouts :   24 December 2006   751956  
oh my gosh....that was true poetry....it was long but
interesting.....i loved it...BRAVA!

~merry christmas~

 
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