Tuesday, 13 December 2011
02:04:24 AM (GMT)
November marked 5 years on this website for me, and I wasn't around to celebrate
such a glorious occasion. Currently it's, ah, 1:30am and I should really be asleep
right now, but I had my finals last week, and I have limited freedom. Enough to sleep
in til 9 or so, before I start getting accused of playing Xbox all night or
I thought I'd share a bit of my experience(s) with Kupika, for those kids who
actually read diaries, and for myself, because my thoughts come out better for myself
when they're written out.
I started back in November of '06, because Kupika seemed new and exciting. I'd never
really had any ongoing contact with a variety of people on the internet before it.
Not in such an accesible way, anyways. I would've just turned 12.. I think? I'm 17
now at any rate, so that sounds accurate. I think I've had a decent amount of
experience in Kupika based on that, but not like some people.
I don't remember much from those days, if I'm honest. I remember spending
absolutely ridiculous amounts of time in front of the monitor, because I had plenty
of time to do so being a homeschooled kid. I wish that I still had memories or
examples of the earliest days here, so I could really come to terms with the changes
I made over the years in my self as a person, and in what I'll call my internet
persona, or how I portrayed who I was to others. I remember having plenty of
conversations with people who had names like: sxisoccegal193730, and cutiegurlz8103,
if that is any indicator to the depths of conversations I took place in. Even though
the Kupika vets portray 2006-2007 as the golden age of 'pika, I'd agree only because
I enjoyed it so much due to my ignorance. I didn't judge people, I desired to
associate myself with everybody without reservations. Conversations weren't boring,
because the novelty of knowing the people were from all across the country and world
I think the most memorable year here for me was 2008. That's when I started making
people that I'd consider true friends. I got into a niche of people and I was happy
there. I didn't need to continually go out and find new people, because I was happy
with the kids I was familiar with. Looking back at how annoying I was in 2008, I'm
surprised I made any friends, because I was so often the sort of person nowadays I
can't stand. I was never really the sort of person I acted, though. I was never
depressed in those days, nor was I ever the over-the-top bubbly hyper sort of person,
though I played that way often. I kind of was two different people, with my real self
being just an average kid, and my online self being.. urgh, aha.
The year went by, and I kind of disappeared. I started to get busier in my day to day
life and couldn't sit in front of a monitor for however many hours a day. I changed
as a person too, I think. When I ended up coming back in late '09, pretty much
everybody I'd loved was gone and it was really depressing to see how my life online
had passed by. I didn't even like the person I had been online, and I felt like I was
so naive and such a kid. I don't know. Is it lame to say it was sobering? Things on
Kupika weren't the same either. Suddenly porn was everywhere and so were the
kids/adults that came on just for some form of sexual pleasure. The other prevalent
people were the kids that I used to be like, and I didn't like them anymore. They
were so shallow, cliqueish, and consumed with their own life, thinking they had it
hard. Kupikan "Emos".
I've kind of just drifted every since, slowly watching Kupika decay, which I say with
a morsel of mock exaggeration. However, it's kind of true. There just isn't the same
amount of life here anymore. Who needs penpals when you can make friends on Gaia, or
whatever other things cool kids are using these days. The kids I see now are all the
typical FT-whores who talk about their love of ramen and how hard and dark their life
is in first world countries. Give me a break. Why was I ever such a whiney lameface
I come on, stay for a few weeks, then I leave for a few months. I can't ever seem to
actually leave this place behind, especially since I know there are still some lovely
people here, they're just hard to find. I've changed so very much over these last few
years, and so has Kupika, let's be honest. No I don't want to BRING BACK OLD KUPIKA
HERPPPP. I just wanted to reflect on my life on here.
I'm not that kid who is too lazy to spell, who thinks that COD is more important than
grammar, or who thinks their life is unbearable and miserable because their mom
wouldn't buy them a new phone. These days I'm sardonic, and judgmental. I don't like
people on here so easily as I used to, but I'm the 2011 Josh. 5 years older, though
sadly not much wiser, and now it's 5 years later. I seriously get stupidly
sentimental about this place. I see a profile that was created in '06 or '07 and I
want to be their best friend. But yeah, I don't know why I even wrote this. I used a
lot of words to say a little bit and it's 2am now.
It's time to sleep. I lovehate you Kupika. Happy 5 year anniversary.