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This diary entry is written by Kablammo_Dude. ( View all entries )
 
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Without herCategory: (general)
Saturday, 1 October 2011
03:20:16 PM (GMT)
Life would be nothing without her.
An empty dream, full of little reminders of how alone I am.
A strange world, where I walk around, unaware of what I see here, and what I truly
see beyond.
I would go to bed alone every night.
I would wake up alone.
I would go out with my friends, pretend everything is okay.
I would drink much more than I need to, just to be normal again.
I would find pills to take away the memories.
I would go through the motions, just to please my parents.
I would have some crappy job, hating every second of it, just to have more money to
spend on drugs.
I would never know that Brittany is okay, I would still worry every day about that.
I would never know that the cold chills, and feelings I get are more than just my
body.
I would never know who I truly am.
Luckily, I don't have to live without her.
I don't think I would anyway.
I just want her to be happy.
Why must things keep happening to her?
She wants to help everyone and everything.
I am beginning to get angry at the hands she has been dealt.
If another thing happens like before, I don't know what I would do.
Suicide is a cowardly thing.
Not only cowardly, but fucking cruel.
Cruel to the people around them.
Cruel to those who care.
I understand some people have tough lives.
Too tough to go on, it seems.
But what does it solve?
Your problems are gone.
You leave the world behind.
Yet, you cause so much torment to the ones you leave behind.
Some people care about you, it's true.
So you solve your problems by eliminating them, and you cause a lifetime of pain and
sorrow for the ones that tried to help.
I don't have much sympathy for those who kill themselves.
I feel sorrow for those who have nobody to help.
No one to help change their mind, open there eyes to the real world.
But for those that have people, and either refuse to accept their help, or don't care
what they will do to that person, then the only emotion I have towards them is
anger.
Anger with a deep-seeded sorrow for the people they left behind.
I hope to all of the powers above that it doesn't happen again.
She doesn't need this.
She is finally being able to live a normal life.
Free of pain, confusion.
Full of happiness, peace, realization.
Don't let this happen again.
Whatever happens is out of our control.
I don't know what I would do without her.
I really don't.
I don't want to think about it.
When I do, I lose my sanity.
I'll try not to.
It won't happen.
We will always be together.
I love you, Firefly.
I will never leave you.
I will never lie to you.
I will always be here for you, through everything.
Even things like last night, when I have no answer, no words to heal you.
It makes me feel helpless.
I hate that feeling.
I have tears in my eyes now.
I am so sorry.
I wish I could solve everything.
I can't.
I'm sorry.
Without you, I simply cannot be.

Comments 
Devious1 says:   1 October 2011   976447  
I love you sunshine.
You help a lot more than you think you do.
Just hearing your voice last night helped me.
 
Kablammo_Dude says :   2 October 2011   905793  
@Devious1 
I really hope I help.
I never help as much as I want to, but I hope it makes a difference.
I love you too, firefly  
 
 
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