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This diary entry is written by Caution_Cone. ( View all entries )

ConfessionCategory: (general)
Tuesday, 23 August 2011
03:14:34 AM (GMT)
The first day was the worst,
 It was the end of 4th grade and i was just finding out who is was. I had a great
family, a great dad. My parents got a divorse which didn't shock me because they
seemed unhappy. I was the youngest so my family tryed to "protect" me. But in the end
it made it worse. I remember March 28 a  sunday morning like no other. I was driving
home happy listening to music in the car with my mom and sister. When we pulled up to
the house the key holes were taped and there was a sign on the door that said, "Stop.
Don't come in call 911" My adrenaline kicked in as my mother opend the door quick and
said stay here. I looked at my sister and saw tears in her eyes. She knew, they both
knew. My mother got in the car and drove holding back the tears."Mom?" I whimpered
"what's going on" she says nothing just keeps driving i start to panick all these
things go through my mind i had no idead. Then it hit me what if my father was dead?
Right the I screamed, "What is going on!" She slowed the car to a stop ad look right
into my eyes,"Your dad is dead." I couldnt believe it. No, not him, how, he was
murdered?! Then my mother explained how he has been depressed for 15 years and they
didnt want to tell me because I was so young. My body was there but my mind was gone
all I wanted to do was get out of that car. My mother drove us back to the apartment.
Her boyfriend comes out says happily,"Hi girls!" We sulk passes him and he whispers
to my mom,"Whats wrong?"
  When i got inside i went straight into the shower after i sank to the bottom and
cryed.I didn't come out until a knock on the door. Days passed and I didnt go to
school. Some friends showed up crying I didnt even know how they knew. I didnt care,
all i knew was he was gone. Now there would be no jokes, no elvis songs sung
beautifully by him, no Dad. Every movie where someone called Dad i would cringe at
the word, I still do. It got easier but it will never be okay. Sometimes i wake to a
sound of a gun shot even thought i know its my imagination i still go looking for my
father. I am now in 8th grade. I guess i showed my sadness through laughter because
thats what im known for. I do have a great life. My mom married her boyfriend and he
is great. Even though it was really hard my dad's death gave me courage. People would
critisize my father say he would go to hell or that he was a pussy for taking the
easy way out. No its not the easy way out.You have to seriously be hurting live with
the fact that you will not live another day see your family.And that your family will
find your dead lifeless body. I just want to tell everyone that my father was a great
man and if you inflict harm on yourself you are also hurting others. And really try
to talk to someone, anyone. Thanks for listening.

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