This diary entry is written by neoeno. ( View all entries )
Saturday, 21 August 2010
09:35:00 AM (GMT)
(For those who've been under a rock for 24 hours, Oroborus21 has been arrested for
lewd acts with a minor, amongst other things.)
Wow. Okay, that was entirely unexpected.
Kudos, I suppose, to those who assisted/sparked it off. Young people who have managed
to actually wield the insane power of the law. It's certainly is impressive.
As Lyncheh has saliently pointed out, by our laws he's done nothing illegal. Whether
he's done anything immoral... well, that's always been something I've struggled with.
I guess I haven't been a very good ally to women and feminism by tolerating him as I
did. Still, I guess that moral conundrum is somewhat moot now...
However, I guess I'd like to point out something, and I'd like to do it... WITH A
I once knew a paedophile, a bona fide
goes-abroad-to-avoid-the-law-and-hire-children-to-fuck paedophile. I only found out
towards the end of my knowing him that this was the case. His activities, that I saw,
were running a site that tried to help emotionally damaged or traumatized teenagers.
He had a lot of really wonderful theories of emotional intelligence, how to treat
people so you don't end up abusing them or making them feel bad, respect, care,
self-esteem. He was a really positive force in this community he'd built up. Putting
people in contact who could talk to eachother and help eachother out, etc. He did a
lot of good. He gave everything he had of himself for other people, and he was pretty
emotionally damaged himself.
However, after a while of knowing a teen, usually over the age of consent (because he
more liked people who were lucid and understood the world around them), he would end
up meeting up with them. And then, he would end up making moves on them, and quite
often fucking them. When this started with my friend, who was also talking to this
guy, I helped my friend draft an email and send it to him telling him that he should
stop doing that. He left the country soon after, without apologies or continued
nonsexual contact. (My conclusion being: he knew what he was doing was wrong, because
there's no shame in wanting and trying to get sex (and she was over the age of
consent). If it was just that, he could have accepted the 'no' and continued being
friendly without sex involved.)
So was he evil? No, I don't think he was, not at all. He really tried to do good, to
help the people he cared about. And he got into very intimate relationships with
people, in the process of trying to help them, and fell in love with all these
beautiful but so traumatized people. And when he met up with them, and of course they
were young and beautiful, and a lot of them had body issues and thought they were
terribly ugly, and he cared about them so much... he wanted to be close to them,
intimate with them, to give them joy, make them feel good, make them feel beautiful.
And, as a man, who had often had so few people to care for him, and who had been
abused himself, maybe he hoped they could give him some of that too, ease him, make
him feel good. Some of you will know how incredible it is to have sex that is
anything like unreserved giving, unreserved receiving, total care and enjoyment of
So maybe, maybe my friend wasn't quite so evil as people might think. He was hurt, he
wanted something very intimate, very human, that he had been denied all his life. And
yes, he fucked people up in the course of trying to fill that void inside himself,
and maybe that's inexcusable. But we live in a fucked up world. We all hurt
eachother, even the ones we care most about.
I can't say how much of that applies to Eduardo. Maybe none, or all, or just a bit.
But he did help a lot of people, try to make a lot of people feel special. And, I
think, did genuinely care for some. He seemed always to try to observe some form of
consent (though not the ideal, yes-means-yes consent). He never really traumatized
anyone, as far as I know, though he made people feel betrayed and uncomfortable and
objectified. And KGC, Alpha Male, etc, were pretty misogynistic. But I don't need to
tell anyone that.
Just that perhaps he's not evil. No more evil, and probably a lot less evil, than the
many men you probably know who use drink to persuade women to have sex with them, or
who have taken advantage of drunkenness for the same goals. Men generally all have
pretty fucked up sexualities, and huge gaping emotional needs that they don't know
how to fill. Who knows what exactly was going on inside his head.
Just to re-emphasize, I'm not endorsing anything he did. No more than I'd endorse
misogyny or rape or anything similar.
I feel an urge to apologise for having been 'allied' with him, but I don't think
anyone to whom it matters has any reason to accept it or believe that I'm sorry. I
probably would never have said anything if he hadn't been arrested, so it'd be a bit
hollow and not in the least slimy to say it now.
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