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This diary entry is written by neoeno. ( View all entries )
 
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On EddieCategory: (general)
Saturday, 21 August 2010
09:35:00 AM (GMT)
(For those who've been under a rock for 24 hours, Oroborus21 has been arrested for
lewd acts with a minor, amongst other things.)

Wow. Okay, that was entirely unexpected.

Kudos, I suppose, to those who assisted/sparked it off. Young people who have managed
to actually wield the insane power of the law. It's certainly is impressive.

As Lyncheh has saliently pointed out, by our laws he's done nothing illegal. Whether
he's done anything immoral... well, that's always been something I've struggled with.
I guess I haven't been a very good ally to women and feminism by tolerating him as I
did. Still, I guess that moral conundrum is somewhat moot now...

However, I guess I'd like to point out something, and I'd like to do it... WITH A
STORY:

I once knew a paedophile, a bona fide
goes-abroad-to-avoid-the-law-and-hire-children-to-fuck paedophile. I only found out
towards the end of my knowing him that this was the case. His activities, that I saw,
were running a site that tried to help emotionally damaged or traumatized teenagers.
He had a lot of really wonderful theories of emotional intelligence, how to treat
people so you don't end up abusing them or making them feel bad, respect, care,
self-esteem. He was a really positive force in this community he'd built up. Putting
people in contact who could talk to eachother and help eachother out, etc. He did a
lot of good. He gave everything he had of himself for other people, and he was pretty
emotionally damaged himself.

However, after a while of knowing a teen, usually over the age of consent (because he
more liked people who were lucid and understood the world around them), he would end
up meeting up with them. And then, he would end up making moves on them, and quite
often fucking them. When this started with my friend, who was also talking to this
guy, I helped my friend draft an email and send it to him telling him that he should
stop doing that. He left the country soon after, without apologies or continued
nonsexual contact. (My conclusion being: he knew what he was doing was wrong, because
there's no shame in wanting and trying to get sex (and she was over the age of
consent). If it was just that, he could have accepted the 'no' and continued being
friendly without sex involved.)

So was he evil? No, I don't think he was, not at all. He really tried to do good, to
help the people he cared about. And he got into very intimate relationships with
people, in the process of trying to help them, and fell in love with all these
beautiful but so traumatized people. And when he met up with them, and of course they
were young and beautiful, and a lot of them had body issues and thought they were
terribly ugly, and he cared about them so much... he wanted to be close to them,
intimate with them, to give them joy, make them feel good, make them feel beautiful.
And, as a man, who had often had so few people to care for him, and who had been
abused himself, maybe he hoped they could give him some of that too, ease him, make
him feel good. Some of you will know how incredible it is to have sex that is
anything like unreserved giving, unreserved receiving, total care and enjoyment of
eachother, safety.

So maybe, maybe my friend wasn't quite so evil as people might think. He was hurt, he
wanted something very intimate, very human, that he had been denied all his life. And
yes, he fucked people up in the course of trying to fill that void inside himself,
and maybe that's inexcusable. But we live in a fucked up world. We all hurt
eachother, even the ones we care most about.



I can't say how much of that applies to Eduardo. Maybe none, or all, or just a bit.
But he did help a lot of people, try to make a lot of people feel special. And, I
think, did genuinely care for some. He seemed always to try to observe some form of
consent (though not the ideal, yes-means-yes consent). He never really traumatized
anyone, as far as I know, though he made people feel betrayed and uncomfortable and
objectified. And KGC, Alpha Male, etc, were pretty misogynistic. But I don't need to
tell anyone that.

Just that perhaps he's not evil. No more evil, and probably a lot less evil, than the
many men you probably know who use drink to persuade women to have sex with them, or
who have taken advantage of drunkenness for the same goals. Men generally all have
pretty fucked up sexualities, and huge gaping emotional needs that they don't know
how to fill. Who knows what exactly was going on inside his head.

[Postscript]
Just to re-emphasize, I'm not endorsing anything he did. No more than I'd endorse
misogyny or rape or anything similar.

I feel an urge to apologise for having been 'allied' with him, but I don't think
anyone to whom it matters has any reason to accept it or believe that I'm sorry. I
probably would never have said anything if he hadn't been arrested, so it'd be a bit
hollow and not in the least slimy to say it now.

Comments 
‹~WildBerri~› says:   21 August 2010   941134  
Wow I can't believe he was arrested. I mean so many people said he
would be but I didn't take it seriously. I mean it's a frickin'
internet site for cryin' out loud. That is pretty cool/scary that
people over the internet could be so right 'bout somethin' like this.
 
‹Ambreen› says:   21 August 2010   896414  
I honestly think he was looking for any sort of connection but it
just went way too far... When I read his profile I did get the
impression he was quite lonely (the unlucky in love thing). 

I kind of feel bad for his daughter now. I'm sure she'll be okay since
her mum's around, but she's going to grow up with her dad labeled that
way... ><;
 
sugartastic says:   22 August 2010   586424  
I've heard many times that he didn't do anything illegal in other
countries, but who's to say which law is correct? The fact is, here
it's illegal and the things he's done... I've personally talked to
Detective Schlund back in January when I looked up the Los Angeles
Police Department. I had lots of evidence I needed to send over to him
and some of the stuff he's done -- the things he's said or implied to
these very young girls (yes, there were many under the age of 16, some
even 12)... it's inexcusable. The emotional scars and damage done to
these innocent girls is unforgivable. These are innocent, young, naive
and confused little girls, and it's completely despicable for someone
who apparently "understands" it to take advantage of their confusion
and pain and do something like... well, what the pedophile you
mentioned often did. I don't know you well personally, but I can tell
you that the trauma and emotional pain these girls experience is
something that can destroy you and make you feel worthless and used.
I've been on medication for two years and starting therapy soon as
well -- the emotional damage someone can do to you is not something to
play around with. The depression this can cause can even lead some to
suicide. Pedophilia is not something to take lightly.

Another thing I feel the need to mention is that amount of backlash
and hate we've (the Key Club in general) have received from his
friends was extremely discouraging. While I've known since January
that the police were already conducting an investigation, there were
many people, including you, if I'm not mistaken, that told us that
what we were doing was wrong and immature. Many of the people who were
victims were cooperating with the police and when people they looked
up to or thought were intelligent (you, for example) were seen as
allies to Eddie and defended him, it hurt a lot of them. I'm not
saying that you intentionally called people out for reporting Eddie,
what I mean is that it's a shame to see that many of Kupika's more
intelligent people (especially the women) were/are allies of Eddie's.
I personally expected much more from someone as intelligent as you,
which is why I was so taken aback when I saw that you seemed to be
something of an ally to him. I'm very much into feminism and Eddie is
a complete insult to anything and everything feminist. With all due
respect, he was one of the most slimy, misogynist sexist men I've ever
seen. He objectified young girls and women, manipulated them for nude
photographs and took advantage of innocent girls.

I'm sure any parents would agree that sexually assaulting a child (or
anyone, for that matter) is a truly despicable act. Many pedophiles
have hurt and even killed children -- is this unforgivable? There are
many stories that stick out in my mind... a pedophile that sexually
assaulted a young girl after taking advantage of her naivete, then
killed her. This girl was then dismembered and put into a garbage bag
where her parents later discovered her. Can you imagine the utter
horror and pain of this? I don't think I can, but I can bet that the
parents felt no sympathy or understanding for the man that killed
their daughter. It is absolutely unforgivable, in my opinion, to take
advantage of such helpless innocent children. I can't say for sure
what was going through Eddie's mind, but I take pride in the fact that
there were many intelligent people who helped us put him behind bars.

If you d
 
sugartastic says:   22 August 2010   872755  
Continued: If you do care about Eddie, it would be advisable to get
him some help of some sort for his urges, etc.
 
neoeno says:   22 August 2010   956049  
@sugartastic
I'm sure there's plenty of discussion one could have over the
'correct' age of consent. Personally, I don't think the ideas of
'correct' can be applied to laws. They're not right or wrong, they
just are. To be up front: I'm an anarchist, I believe prison, the
police, etc, isn't a good way of dealing with misdemeanour.

Like I've said before, I never knew Eddie to cause significant harm to
anyone. It's entirely possible that he has, but I've never seen any
evidence of it. Sleazing young women over the internet isn't a
massively traumatic act. Maybe he did rape, but I never had any reason
to believe that he did.

I don't remember exactly what I said or didn't say. I imagine I was
skeptical that the police were involved, I imagine I said I had no
reason to believe Eddie had done anything illegal.

(I should add at this point, in response to your penultimate
paragraph, that just because he liked underaged women, that doesn't
mean he's to be lumped in with the people who murder and cut them up.
They're very different things, and to try to equate them seems...
irresponsible.  And, of course, if he did, sympathy and understanding
would be impossible for some. But, I am quite detached, and interested
in understanding such things, such that we can remove the social
forces that cause them to happen.)

So, in a sense, I don't take back those things. The crimes we now know
him to have committed, while undeniably ethically problematic, are
still not anywhere on the level of say... rape.

However.

The problem, for me, comes with what I didn't say. I essentially
turned a blind eye to all of the quite intense misogyny he displayed.
I maybe didn't quite follow what you were trying to do, or saying, and
I voiced that. But I actually had a greater dislike for what he did.
But, I didn't say that.. Why? Probably because he'd backed me
up in some previous drama. Petty, really, but that's how masculinity
is I suppose.

And that's pretty important. On a site like this, which is playing a
part in the forming of new adolescent identities, for him to try to
define masculinity and femininity in the ways he did was likely pretty
harmful. And I didn't challenge that, and probably helped make it
acceptable. Which made me a very bad ally, to women, men, and all the
rest. That's what I feel remorse for.

I'd rather not debate the rights and wrongs of what Eddie did, at
least not the usual discussions. What I've written in this comment is
what I think, it's unlikely to change without new information, and is
now pretty academic. All I can do personally is try to act differently
in future.

As a side-note, I'm pretty surprised no one's jumped on this yet,
media-wise. This is a chance for fame, for a centrally located
kupikan. Phone up the news networks and get a spot, they love that
stuff over there. 
 
neoeno says:   22 August 2010   611030  
 
neoeno says:   22 August 2010   533431  
@trivaveth 
Yeah, I agree. I think that drives a lot of the terrible things men
are prone to do... 
 
‹*wisps~of~whispers~in~the~dark*› says:   26 January 2012   121576  
If I may ask, what does this Eduardo look like? Does anyone know?
 
crazyhot says:   5 August 2013   912533  
look him up@c_breezy 
 
Phantom says :   2 November 2013   302988  
this was fascinating....stay tuned

to Neoeno: glad you seem to be doing well. regards to Eva if you are
in touch w her
 
 
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