Monday, 19 July 2010
10:59:04 PM (GMT)
Violence. It shakes grown men to the core of their existence like the very evil it
is born from.
Loneliness fills my heart as I sit silently in my bedroom. Used to be our
bedroom, but now just mine. Alone again. I tried to help him, to make him see that he
might still be able to stay. I thought I had helped, I surely thought that it would
get better. It was too much to ask for.
“A man too deep wounded may feel too much pain to feel anger.”
-George Eliot, Spanish Gypsy
It doesn’t matter much whether I feel remorse. The blood runs through my guilty
fingers as I finish the last of my foes. “Maybe you should quit if you hate it so
much.” Cloud had said. But I can’t imagine what I would do if I quit SOLDIER and
moved on. When I go on missions, it makes me think of Zack. I want to remember him
the way he was. So I fight in vain today, as I decide that this mission will be my