^listen as you read please^
I think this is the first time I've actually used this as a diary entry. I FEEL SO
Okay so today (at 3am to be exact) I woke up screaming my blonde head off. Why? Well
I keep having this weird-ass dream about TVs displaying my life and all that :/
I really hate it. It starts off with me opening this big, huge, gothic-style door
that leads into this humungous room. In this room, are a line of TVs on both sides,
and I walk past them, seeing different moments of my life in order from the beginning
to the end. Towards the end of the rows of TVs, they stop and there's just a patch of
grass. In the center of the grass is this HUGE TV like movie theater sized, and it
has by boyfriend's face on it. He's smiling and being his adorable self for like, 10
seconds and then he gets this face that looks like he wants to punch someone in the
face. His face starts flashing from my first boyfriend's face to his own, and while
this is happening, BOTH of their voices are saying, "I never loved you."
That's usually where I wake up screaming :/
So now I look waaaay to deep into Dustin's every flicker of emotion and I dont even
want to sleep tonight. I'm just totally horrified. Robbie, my first boyfriend, keeps
on giving me these weird looks at school whenever I see him (which seems like alot
since my dreams started) and I don't have Dustin here to protect me. Then earlier
today, Robbie called me and said he had the wrong number.
I just feel so paranoid now.
It feels like Dustin's saying goodbye all the time, but he never does.
I'm getting more and more depressed.
It seems like I'm losing the desire to even breathe anymore.
Oh well, I guess this is how it's supposed to be :/
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