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This diary entry is written by ‹wolfkid_hates_war›. ( View all entries )
 
Previous entry: Diary 11 January 2009 in category (general)
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my book i want to makeCategory: (general)
Thursday, 5 February 2009
02:07:01 AM (GMT)
heres the beggining tell me if i should finish it 

I awoke in a daze to screaming and crashing. I layed on my bunk when they attacked I
was sleeping. 
The port I was in was called pearl harbor. Metal flew as the ships were bombed people
screaming and trying to get to the top as it was sinking i got up then stumbled.
Luetinent Vickers came and pulled me up we ran out of the room to get to the top he
was to late to get out i got out before him but by the time i was out the ceiling
crashed on top of him. He was dead. As i ran along as the pipes burst and there were
fires in the kitchens. The ship was falling apart. I was running to try to find a way
out I knew I was trapped. 

tell me wat u think.

Comments 
‹XxXImHis_Pretty_RaveGirlXxX› says:   5 February 2009   677867  
really good word choice! Congrats.

:3
 
Sk8terGirlxx says:   5 February 2009   531523  
Wow, thats really good! i can picture it in my head, you have a
talent for writing I see.
 
coffie1221 says:   5 February 2009   657127  
wow thats amazing!!!! 

you should finish it 
 
‹wolfkid_hates_war› says:   5 February 2009   247476  
k i will finish it
 
‹Up-in-the-Clouds› says:   5 February 2009   114691  
i agree with everyone. i can totally picture that in my head, and
that's a good thing bc not many stories i read can do that. you're and
AMAZING writer, and you picked a good story to write about. can't wait
for more!
 
‹wolfkid_hates_war› says:   5 February 2009   537735  
see my chater its better
 
ella2hip49 says:   5 February 2009   434248  
it was really good i think you should finish it but heres a tip you
should add some stuff before it too that would make it even better  
also  how do you post stuff for evrey on to see??? : - )
 
‹Funn_size› says:   5 February 2009   818295  
awesome dude lolz XD
 
‹WE'RE GOING IN THE VAGINAAAA› says :   5 February 2009   847481  
It's quite good, could use some better puntuation though, thataways
it doesn't seem to choppy..just a suggestion
 

 
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Next entry: Chapter 1 in category (general)
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