Friday, 30 January 2009
12:52:02 PM (GMT)
The previously unshakable Russel Hobbs had started going crazy long before the film
was even terminated. With Del’s ghost long overdue for collection by the Grim
Reaper, Russel underwent a grueling and harrowing exorcism to return Del’s spirit
to its rightful place.
This process left Russel fagged and shagged and a big, fat double-cracked actor! Once
his strength was sapped he was unable to resist the indignation of being painted
green by studio bosses when they thought about using Russel for the Hil II movie.
Some of the local L.A. kids even used to chuck Russel in a wheelbarrow and push him
round just to humiliate him.
With his 'soul mate' Del gone, no band and no home, the fragile Russel was left close
to broken. Fat, mad and without any shoes Russel wandered aimlessly up and down the
streets of Hollywood Boulevard, just another burnt out goon stumbling in and out of
the various organisations that this town seems to breed.
GET READY FOR THE BIG MAN'S BREAKBEAT BREAKDOWN!
Some of the less scrupulous members of the sects siphone Russel's dough into funding
'The Russel Retreat for Sensitive Rappers'. But when the money ran out they scarpered
leaving Russel to be inducted into the dark, dark world of Little Jimmy Manson's
gang, the notorious pint-sized sod.
Living on a diet of wheatgrass, mung beans and crazy pills, Russel ended up a
barefooted, bearded, kaftan wearing headjob, living like a recluse down in Ike
Turner's basement. It was here from the depths of his mental wilderness that he began
to dream up his next project. A hip-hop album of such devastating ambition and beauty
it would enchant the world!
An album of such rare passion, harmony and vision that it would unite the world in
peace and love!! Combining the four raw elements of hip-hop: Bass, Beats, Ruthm and
Booty, it would be his masterpiece: The Hip-Hop Pet Sounds! The Breakbeat
He set up his studio and with Ike's help began his ambitious ascent, an expedition to
the height of the musical summit.
HOWEVER, IT WAS NOT TO BE. The over whelming task of completing his insurmountable
musical vision was the last straw, ultimately breaking his already damaged psyche.
After almost a year of splicing, re-editing and overdubs, the unhinged Russel became
terrified of his mammoth creation.
Believing that his music was causing freak vibrations to ripple across the planet,
the 'Seventh Heaven Hip-Hop & Harmony' album got shelved. Right next to Brian
Wilson's 'Smile' and Prince's 'Black Album'.
Russel decided to return to England and the relative security of Kong Studios. He
really wants to lie down for a bit. His head's spinning. He must be hallucinating. He
keeps seeing Zombies crawling up the walls of his bedroom. Little did he know, out of
the frying pan and into the fire…