Saturday, 4 October 2008
01:18:31 AM (GMT)
Writer introductions are pesky things to write. First, you need some sort of hidden
political agenda. Then you need an arbitrary connection that makes all your content
cohesive and thematic. Lastly, you need some sort of cleverly phrased hook that
suggests reading said introduction will stop a global meltdown and put hot, steaming
gumbo into the starving mouth of an African babe.
Unfortunately, it is very unlikely that anything can do all that at once. Unless you
edit The Costco Connection, it is very difficult to find a deeper meaning in
very arbitrary things. The truth is, this is a place where I can write for the sake
of writing. Having a purpose is nice sometimes. But I like writing about staplers
once in a while. That lime-green bottle of Garnier Fructis that whispers sweet, sweet
"Meaning" is a bit like the crumbs that fall off your blueberry-struesel muffin. They
taste pretty good when you are dabbing them off the table with your index finger but
would be even better if they were still attached to the muffin.
Here you will find a neatly typed compilation of muffins broken and whole. You might
enjoy the crispy top or the squashy interior or perhaps even the semi-burnt parts
towards the bottom. In fact, I hope you will be licking the table clean.