Saturday, 21 June 2008
05:26:44 PM (GMT)
Dedicated to Zoe, aka StrawberrySHOCK.
I seriously hope I won't have to take that break. T__T
It's weird, the story titles. Usually it's hello, then good-bye.
But I guess it's reversed this time.
I meant to post this after I came back from the break, but then I was like, "Aw, what
So I posted it anyways.
It's pretty long, but if you can't finish this, did you even ever finish a
Two months. Two months. Stan knew Kyle would be back now. He paced back and forth,
waiting for the door to knock, for him to answer it, and for Kyle to be there,
grinning and not sick anymore. Neither Cartman nor Kenny could take Kyle's place.
Neither could Butters or Tweek. Cartman and Kenny both pestered Stan to find a
temporary replacement for Kyle, but he refused every time.
Stan stopped pacing, and stared at the door. Could it be Kyle? He walked to the door
and opened it.
No. It wasn't Kyle. It was Cartman.
"Stan! Stan! Kyle's back!" Cartman said.
Stan could hug Cartman for that, but decided against it.
"Where?!" Stan asked.
"T-the hospital. Bastard's better, but he's still sick."
Stan looked at Cartman, then grabbed his collar.
"This better not be a lie, you fag!" threatened Stan. "Kyle was in that hippie city
for two months, and you're telling me he's not fucking better?!"
Cartman looked at Stan, trying to act brave. "No, I'm not lying, Stan! The Jew is in
the hospital! But they know what he's suffering from! In San Francisco, it was only
"Then why were they there for two fucking months?!" Stan yelled, not loosening his
grip on Cartman's collar.
"I don't know!"
"Well, what's the disease or whatever?"
Stan let go of Cartman's collar, and the boy fell. He quickly got up again.
"What?" Stan said when Cartman got up.
"Broken. Heart," repeated Cartman.
"Dude, that's a frickin' exaggeration!" Stan said.
"Well, I know why Jew boy got a broken heart," Cartman said.
"Spill," Stan said.
"The week before Kyle was sick, he and Bebe had a fight."
"Let me finish, you son of a bitch!"
Stan shut up.
"And they broke up. Then, Bebe, either to show that she was over him or to make Kyle
jealous, got with Clyde. Kyle, being the wuss that he is-" Stan glared at him. "-got
upset. They got into another fight, a huge one, I suppose, and Bebe must've said some
words that stung really bad, and Kyle's heart was broken."
"Hey, Wendy broke my heart," Stan said. "I didn't end up in the hospital."
"That's because Kyle's a wuss and you're not."
Stan glared at him again.
"Okay, okay. It was his first time with a girl, he got sensitive. Geez," Cartman
"I'm going there," Stan said. He wanted to see his friend. He needed to see his
friend. He needed to help.
"Fine," Cartman said.
Stan stepped out of his house, closed the door, and ran to the hospital and quickly
as possible. Cartman followed.
Kenny was waiting for the two of them.
"In here," he said softly, leading them to the same room they visited two months
Kyle was sitting up, his right cheek resting on his right hand. He seemed to be deep
"Hey," Kenny said. "Hey, Kyle. Stan's here."
Kyle looked at Stan.
"Hey, Kyle," Stan said.
"Cartman told you, right?" Kyle said.
"That's supposed to be a greeting?" Stan heard Kenny whisper to Cartman, and Cartman
snickered in reply.
"Um, yeah," Stan said, a bit confused.
"Do you know how weak and gay that is, Stan?" Kyle asked.
"Uh, no," Stan answered truthfully.
"A fucking broken heart," Kyle said. "A fucking broken heart! Over a fucking girl!
That makes me a fucking wuss!"
"Yeah, does Kyle the Wussy Jew need a wussy little wuss hug?" Cartman taunted.
"Shut up, you fucking son of a bitch!" Kyle shot back.
Stan placed a hand on Kyle's shoulder.
"Dude, don't try to hide it. I know that Bebe-"
Kyle covered his ears with his hands and buried his face in his knees. "Shut up,
Stan! I don't want to hear your sympathy right now!"
Stan took a step back, surprised.
"J-just leave, okay!"
Kenny nodded. "Yeah, let's go."
Suddenly Stan felt angry. He mourned for Kyle for two months, and when he returned,
he acted snobby and sorry for himself.
"You dickhead!" Stan said, and raised an arm to punch Kyle. Kenny and Cartman held
"Hey, you don't know what I'm going through!"
"'What I'm going through' my ass!" replied Stan. "My heart was broken, too, you
fucking asswipe! It's exactly what I went through, except worse! You're just a wuss
and didn't suck it up!"
"At least I didn't go goth!" Kyle said.
"No, you went wuss!" Stan said.
"For all people know," interrupted Kenny. "You two are fighting like a married
Cartman laughed. "Yeah, go on, go on."
"No, I'm leaving. And I'm never come back again!" Stan exclaimed.
"Baby, I'm leaving, never to come back again!" sang Kenny.
"Dude, Jesse McCartney?" Cartman said, staring at Kenny.
"Why are you staring? I know I'm sexy, but I never knew you-"
"Ah, shut up," Cartman said, scowling.
"How do you know Jesse McCartney?" questioned Kenny.
Stan broke free of Kenny and Cartman's grip and slapped Kyle. Then he stormed out,
making sure to slam the door as hard as he could.
Kenny and Cartman looked at Kyle, whose head was turned from the slap. His cheek was
"Yep, married couple, all right."
The following day, Saturday, Stan looked for Wendy, who was talking to Bebe near the
"Wendy, you've got to help me."
Wendy turned to Stan. "Excuse me, Bebe."
Stan and Wendy moved towards the tree. They both stared at it.
"Forget it's there," Stan said. "Kyle and I had a fight yesterday in the hospital."
His girlfriend replied, "Kyle? I visited him yesterday, I gave him a rose-"
"Sorry. Yes, and you want me to do what about it?"
"No, just give me advice!" Stan said impatiently.
"What?" Stan said, dumbfounded.
"Nothing," she replied, still giggling. "Just apologize. Make it sincere and
everything will be all right."
"Everything's not all right!" Stan protested. "Kyle's dying! My best friend is
"I'll help him feel better," Wendy said. "I know exactly what to do."
"How did I end up with a girl like you?" Stan said, smiling.
"Shut up," Wendy said, kissing Stan.
Bebe interrupted their long kiss.
"Hello?!" she yelled.
Stan and Wendy pulled away and glared at Bebe.
"We're busy here!" Wendy exclaimed. Then she sighed. "See you, Stan." She walked back
to Bebe. Stan could here their conversation as he slowly walked to the hospital.
"Yeah, Clyde's a bastard, huh?" Wendy said.
"Yeah, I hate him," Bebe added.
Stan looked back, confused, but didn't stop walking.
"Kyle, I'm sorry."
Kyle looked at him, puzzled. "What?"
"I'm sorry for shouting at you yesterday. I'm sorry for slapping you."
"Apology accepted," Kyle grumbled. "And I'm sorry for insulting you."
"It's all right, dude," Stan accepted.
Suddenly they grinned and high-fived.
Quickly after, Kyle doubled over in pain.
"Kyle?!" Stan said worriedly.
"Nah," Kyle said painfully. "It's normal."
Stan looked at his phone.
"Wendy," Kyle said, before Stan could say anything. "I know. Go."
Stan stepped outside the room.
"Yeah, yeah, don't remind me twice, dude, you know everything."
"No, I mean, I found the cure!"
"Cure? For Kyle?"
"Well, what is it?"
"It's a who."
"Well, come over with Bebe and cure Kyle! What are you waiting for, Cartman to admit
he loves Jews?"
They hung up. Stan burst back into the room.
"Kyle! Kyle, Wendy knows how to cure you!" Stan exclaimed happily.
"Wendy?" Kyle said. "Well, what?"
"Bebe," Stan said.
Kyle looked Stan, obviously not believing him. "Bebe?"
"STANNNN!" a voice yelled, and two people entered the room.
Stan stared at Wendy. "I love you, too?"
"No time for that! How can you say that at a time like this?" Wendy said, obviously
not understanding a word.
"How far did you run?" Stan said, grabbing her arm.
Wendy hugged Stan's middle, and fourteen-year-old Stan, who had gotten over his habit
of throwing up his guts, looked at her, confused.
"We'll leave you two alone," said Stan, dragging Wendy out of the room.
Kyle and Bebe stared at each other.
"So...," Kyle said softly.
"Wendy dragged me here," Bebe explained.
"Yeah, I could tell. Did you beat her up before finally agreeing?" asked Kyle.
"Yeah," giggled Bebe. "She was running, talking, and trying to run away from me. I
actually feel sorry."
"No wonder she looked so woozy. Poor girl, with school and such," snickered Kyle.
"So, listen," Bebe said, grabbing a chair. "I only got with Clyde because I wanted to
make you jealous."
Kyle looked at her. "Why? Why would you want me to be jealous?"
"Be-because!" Bebe said, balling her hands into fists. "Weren't you with Heidi?"
"Heidi?" Kyle said, his eyes widening in surprise. "Why the hell Heidi? Where the
fuck did you hear that shit?"
"It was a rumor," Bebe said, returning his look of surprise.
"We really are popular, aren't we?" Kyle said, laughing nervously.
"Yeah. Kyle, I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have listened to those rumors, I didn't
know you would end up being like this," Bebe said sincerely.
"Apology accepted." Kyle smiled. "Guess I won't need these wires and shit."
On Monday, Kyle was back with Bebe, and back at school. Everyone greeted him.
"Aww, how cute," Wendy said, and Stan smirked.
"Yeah. See, Kyle? You are not a wuss," Stan said.
"I thank Bebe," Kyle said, turning to his girlfriend.
"Oh, no," Wendy said. "Run, Stan, they're going to make mushy-gushy faces at each
"Ew!" yelled Stan, and they ran away.
"What the fuck was that?" Kyle asked.
"Ah, leave them be," Bebe said, taking out a familiar weapon. "I'll shoot them
Last edited: 22 June 2008