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This diary entry is written by punkchickabbott. ( View all entries )

(untitled)Category: (general)
Sunday, 30 March 2008
09:56:51 PM (GMT)
u walk forward
totally oblivous to the world around u
not allowing urself to be aware
not allowing urself to think
u watch the world pass by
but comprehinding none of it
u let urself be aware for a moment
what could possably happen?
it'll be okay.
u see the the world around u
hear all its sounds
u allow urself to think
a pain comes back
ur head starts to spin
ur mind is racing
ur heart beats faster
to miny feelings
to miny memories
coming back all at once
u have to sit
unable to keep ur balence
it hurts to breath
u hear the blood rushing in ur temples
ur eyes lose focus
theres a tighing in ur chest
ur heats faster
a sharp pain in ur stomache
u feel sick
u try to breath out
tears come with it
goosebumps creep up ur skin
ur cold
ur crumbling on the inside
ur bodys ripping itself apart
its to much
pull ur nees to ur chest
trying to pull urself together
or atlest keep from falling apart
ur crying becomes more distinct
ur shaking
ur minds so foggy
but so clear all at once
u cant move
lying there
u dig ur fangernails into ur skin
make it stop
is ur only plee
u pull urself closer
ur breathing begains to even
ur heart rate slows
the pain begains to dull
falling back into ur numb state
u can no longer feel
no longer aware
an empty shell
no loner really there
ur content
never again
u promise urself
u no longer disiure to feel
to breath
to live
the numbness is so tempting
so safe
yet so misrable
better then pain
or so u tell urself
so much better

hotgothgirl says:   31 March 2008   871252  
wow that was really good!
punkchickabbott says :   2 April 2008   838263  
ya, i was super depressed when i wrote this, but ya, i think its


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