Betrayed ~Poem~ Login to Kupika  or  Create a new account 

This diary entry is written by ‹Ⓐnn4☯L0vΣ☣›. ( View all entries )
Previous entry: My Price in category (general)
You can also go directly to the previous entry in category Poem

Betrayed ~Poem~Category: Poem
Monday, 6 February 2012
09:31:07 PM (GMT)
Growing up is hard. 
You have people left and right telling you 
What to do,
Who to trust,
What to say. 
Everyone tried to warn me of the hardships I would face.
But no one prepared me for this. 
No one ever told me that there would be people out there to destroy you.
Hurt you. 
Maim you. 
I walked through those double doors totally ignorant and oblivious. 
Believing that I could do it. 
Boy was I wrong.

I was filled with it on my first day. 
I looked around at all the new faces surrounding me and also at the old ones. 
I saw all my new teachers and classrooms.
All I saw was excitement, happiness, joy. 
Alas, everything is not what it seems.
I should have looked deeper;
Should have tried to see what was just lurking around the corner. 
Like I said, I was 12 and naive. 
I didn't know any better. 

I went through my share of guys. 
All the bad ones,
Abusive ones, 
Amazing ones, 
Crazy ones.
We all got them. 
Although, on my list was someone I did not expect.
Someone no one thought I had even feelings for. 
He was the heart-throb at the time. 
I fell for the charade. 
I fell hard.

We walked down the halls together for a long time. 
I saw all the jealous looks I had gotten. 
I heard all the things people said about me.
I ignored it. 
I had what I wanted and that's all I cared about. 
Soon, I grew tired of it and shut everyone out. 
Everyone but him. 
Like I said, 
I was 12 and naive.
I didn't know any better.

Looking back I realize my mistake. 
It wasn't the fact that I shut everyone out.
It wasn't the fact that I ignored all the criticism. 
It wasn't even the fact that I liked him.
It was the fact that I let him get in my head.
The fact that I let him control me. 
The fact that I let him tell me what to say,
What to do.
What to wear.
Who to look at.
What to think.
I could have just ignored it all and listened to my own mind.
I didn't though. 
You know why?
It was puppy love and I would have done everything to be wanted. 
I wasn't prepared for what happened next though.

Sometimes all good things must come to an end. 
And that's what happened.
It came to an end.
I tried pretending the whole time didn't even happen.
It was the only way I could cope.
It was the only way to make myself believe I had done the right thing by hurting
someone else.
Inside I felt horrible.
I just wanted it all to stop. 
It did eventually. 
It ended with her. 

Don't get me wrong. 
I love the girl to death.
She is one of my best friends. 
But I would be lying if I said it didn't hurt.
Even though I left.
I would be lying if I said that I wasn't angry. 
In the beginning it was all lies. 
Of course I knew the truth. 
I always know. 
It hurt that i wasn't trusted enough to be told the truth.
I didn't want him back. 
I didn't like him anymore. 
The only thing I wanted was our friendship. 
And the sad thing is:
No matter how hard I try,
I won't get all of it back.

Be the first to comment:

Next entry: Leave me alone! in category poem
Related Entries
NarutoDrawer: My own Poem
horsegirl1698: not-so-interesting-factoid
‹True friends stab you in the front›: Diary 17 May
‹the Gaythiest›: Emilie Autumn
elisebri22: Part 2 of a poem you will like poem of my feelings

About Kupika    Contact    FAQs    Terms of Service    Privacy Policy    Online Safety
Copyright © 2005-2012