Wednesday, 2 December 2009
01:50:33 PM (GMT)
The Man Who Stole Christmas
By: Jackson Evans
It was some time on Christmas Morning that Mr. Fooph came down to his Christmas tree
and there wasn't any presents. He checked the time and it was eight in the morning.
Mr. Fooph decided to go to his friends for some egg nog because he drank all of his
own. When Mr. Fooph arrived he knocked on the door and Cledus Doogumpphrei answered
and his sixteen children were crying because they didn't get any presents either. So
they checked on Infamous Poochi When they looked inside of the dog house Infamous
Poochi had presents because her friend John Hancock, the killer, gave them to her.
She was building some satellite thing. When they walked by John Hancocks house they
thought they heard Santa doing that Ho Ho Ho thing but he was really doing a No No No
thing. They didn't know he was screaming No No No. What John Hancock was doing was
torturing Santa Claus. They just blamed the Ho Ho Ho on their imaginations because of
the events that just happened. So they decided to just go back home and see if he was
just late for the delivery. Then they heard something coming down the chimney it was
a Santa Claus but he was dressed up in blue and black. Turns out it is just some of
Infamous Poochi's minions. Mr. Fooph ran to Cledus Doogumpphrei's gun closet he
couldn't choose from the cross bow, the rocket launcher, or the .50 cal. Berretta
rifle so he shot them all at once the cross bow with his foot, the rocket launcher
with his left hand, and the rifle with his other hand. While all of Cledus
Doogumpphrei's children mi raged it with slingshots it finally died.
Then it finally came to them that some tried stealing Christmas like in Tim Burtons
Nightmare Before Christmas. Then they heard an explosion the Christmas tree was on
fire. Santa was at the top, the real santa, Cledus didn't have a phone because he was
a hillbilly. They couldn't call 911. Then a missle came and flew over there heads
flew up to the top of the tree and it exploded killing Santa they grabbed the body
parts and put them on a table. Senor Smoothy Pants came and asked what was the huge
ruckus. Everybody started talking until Smoothy Pants screamed be quiet there was a
huge crash so everybody went quiet but it wasn't because of Smoothy Pants. Senor
Smoothy Pants said "thank you" then
Cledus spoke up "Senor Smoothy Pants we aren't quiet because of you" Cledus points at
something behind Smoothy Pants. It was Arnlod Swarchenegger dressed up as Santa he
was talking like he always does, like an austrian, when he said "I am a cybernetic
organism to be called Brutal Claus or Austrian Death Machine, but you won't have call
me that for long because you are about to be terminated" So Cledus grabbed his rocket
launcher blew Austrian Death Machine's head off and crushed it.
Soon enough Smoothy Pants called his brother Senor Snoopy Nose because he was a
detective. An hour later Snoopy Nose showed up with his fellow detective Homie
Sherly. "First of all we need to find some evidence." said Homie Sherly.
"Did you notice anything suspicious before the death" said Senor Snoopy Nose.
"Yeah we heard some Ho Ho Hoing down by John Hancock's house" said Mr. Fooph.
"Then we must go over there to find a clue or two" said Senor Snoopy Nose and Homie
They head over to John Hancocks place and they hear Ha Ha Ha. "Thats a clue" exclaims
"How?" queried Mr Fooph.
"Everybodys sad that Santa died and he's happy"
"Oh, Infamous Poochi got presents, too"
"Thats also a clue"
They go over to Infamous Poochi's dog house. They hear snickering. "Thats another
Clue" said Mr. Fooph. they scope out Infamous Poochis house for awhile, she leaves
after a while. They look inside theres a phone out they look at the call history
"John Hancock called 6 times today." said Senor Smoothy Pants. "That makes Infamous
Poochi and John Hancock suspects" said Homie Sherly.
Thay go to the Christmas tree that santa died on and in the debris they find the
missile casing it says "Infamous Poochi & John Hancock ammunition" they killed Santa
they apprehend the killers and they are sent to life in prison. Aslan from Narnia
comes and brings Santa back to life with his totally brutal nargic powder.