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This diary entry is written by VanillaFrosting. ( View all entries )
 
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sometimesCategory: whining, i guess
Thursday, 26 November 2009
06:16:20 PM (GMT)
Sometimes I feel as though I can't do anything. That scares me. Sometimes I feel as though no matter what I do, I'll never be any good at it; that scares me even more. I change my mind so often that I don't actually know what I want to do. I want to work in journalism, in photography, in musical theatre - but I don't think I have anywhere near the skills. Sometimes I look back on things I did when I was younger; old forum posts and diaries and bits and pieces of writings and it scares me to know that I can change so much in maybe two years - so what will I be like when I look back on myself when I'm sixteen, or twenty? I don't think I can look back on myself at twelve now. That was only six months ago. I'm not quite sure of the significance of me even writing all of this to you. I get told I'm good at things often enough, but these people are my friends and they're meant to build me up. I hate being told I'm good at things, actually; I'd rather people tell me what's wrong with what I'm doing then what they like. I hate how people assume when I leave school I want to do something in art just because I get high grades in it. If I tell them I'd like to work in musical theatre they give me odd looks and and walk away from me. I can't blame them; hardly anyone has heard me sing and I've only been at this school for not even a term so they have no idea about if I have any talent at dancing or acting. And I hate whining on for paragraphs upon paragraphs about my problems; how often I see that makes me want to smack people upside the head. Still, I guess my other posts have been cheerful enough; why shouldn't I be a little sorrowful for once? On Tuesday I succeeded in doing a headstand, with the help of Megan and possibly Natalie (at least, there was somebody else). I ended up being dropped, rolling forward and ending up in an extremely uncomfortable position laid on the mats. I can't move my thumb as far back as normal and my arm still hurts if I try and raise it. Still, it's an ordinary day. I'm off to go and immerse myself in roleplays and unfinished novels. Tata~

Comments 
‹tinysparrow.› says :   26 November 2009   753259  
sometimes i feel the same.
but then sometimes, i feel like i don't care. as long as i'm happy and
doing something i love, then why should it matter.
i know exactly how you feel and i know how difficult it can be to
realize your talents sometimes, but honestly, you are talented. i know
i only know you online, but just speaking to you i can tell you're
intelligent and wonderful and amazing. i can't really offer much
advice, but i just thought i'd let you know that (:
 

 
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