i am scared of loosing my virginity this year.
because alot of people my age are doing it.
i don't wanna be another one of those teenagers.
i will feel like a whore if i do.
i am only 13 years old.
my friend keeps telling me to do it with my boyfriend.
i think thats what he wants to !
i don't wanna give in though.
i don't wanna feel like a whore. 
i'm so scared.

I talked to my friend that is the same age as me over the phone.
she told me that she wasn't a virgin. 
that she lost it a couple days after the summer she came to see me !!
i was so shocked.
and she said that she felt like such a slut after. 
buut luckily she told me it was with the one guy she knew she loved.

now , i know i don't love my boyfriend.
buut he said he loves me.
i fell in love once though.
i am still in love with that guy.
buuut , he doesn't love me.
so i have to accept that.

i'm so scared.
i don't want to do it.
buut , if i get pressured to.
i wanna know what to do.
what if i give in ?
what if he dumps me a few days after.
or the day after.
or the same day !!
i don't wanna get hurt !
let alone feel like a whore right after.

i'm scared.