Chapter 1-20 of my story, all revised and what-not Login to Kupika  or  Create a new account 

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Previous entry: (31) Am I Invisible? in category Story I can't decide a name for : )

Chapter 1-20 of my story, all revised and what-notCategory: Story I can't decide a name for : )
Sunday, 19 October 2008
10:21:03 PM (GMT)
Alright, so all the chapters through 20 were spell checked, this took me an entire
hour.... *sighs* But I know that my typo problem is a big reason people stopped
reading. OH! I finally came up with teh title that I am in love with.

Beyond the Mind's Capibility
Tell me what you think. *goes adn crawls into corner and falls asleep*

Chapter 1
I can always remember my mom rubbing my right hand and staring at my birthmark so
worried about who knows what. I had connected it to something I had once heard my
Mom say to this strange guy..... I had been 5 years old. I had had a nightmare one
summer night and instead of screaming when I woke, I had quickly got up and walked
to my mom's room to have her help me, and sooth the nerves that always came with

When I peered in my mom's room, only dad was sleeping there, and I was always told
that he had to wake up super early so not to disturb him. I heard a noise
downstairs. Mom was talking with some strange man.
"I don't want her to go.... she's soooo young." My mom pleased to the man.... I
was sure they were talking about me.
"Ma'am, I have to take her sometime. I can take her when she reaches the year,
she won't be as prepared. If it helps, a young girl was brought in, now she'll feel
even more at home with her roommates.... There's a senior gi-"
"No. I won't let you take my baby girl.”
"All that's left is the star in the group!" He had shouted, my mom was ushering
him toward the door. I looked at my birthmark and it suddenly didn't seem like a
normal birthmark. The star shape it was in seemed to get more and more clear every
"Mama.... what's gonna happen to me?"
"Oh.... Oh..." She crooned, she ran to me and began to pet my head.  Her cheek
wet with tears. I never got my answer, but I didn't care anymore. My mom was crying
and something was apparently wrong with me.
When I neared my 13’Th birthday my mom spoiled me straight out. She would see me
gaze longingly at something simple or complex and offer to buy it for me. I would
my head no. But she would caress my hand, staring intently at the ever more defined
star. The day of my birthday happened to be a Friday.  I had been anxiously
the count down, my mom and I sat together eating ice cream, since I never was one
cake. For some unknown reason we were in the basement.
"4:59." I said, excitement bubbling in my voice. My mom started to cry, I stared
her for what seemed like ever. I heard the time pass by, suddenly, just as the
went to 5:00, I was immersed in light. I was surrounded by stars, my hair flew up
my right hand tingled. I heard a voice clearly say, "It is time to embrace the
change. Kaitlyn." Then all went black. When I woke up, my hand felt odd, my mother
was holding me, very quietly weeping. I lifted my hand and my eyes widened, the
defined star glowed purple.
"Mom.... what’s wrong with me.... Why is this happening?" I was beginning to
was I some freak? "Was that man going to take me away to the nut house? Oh....
Please explain...." I whined, for the first time in my life wanting to just sit in
her lap and listen to her say everything would be alright... But I had to be
strong.... Right now I needed to get my mom to calm down and tell me what this was.

"Please... Calm down and just.... explain what's happened to me." After a sob,
stiffened her back and drew into something I would never believe if My hand wasn't
glowing purple.
"Kaitlyn.... Nothing is wrong with you.... It's... a special thing. I need to send
you away, so... bad things won't happen to you." Normally I would've snapped and
said, I wasn't a kid anymore. But right now, Bad Things, was scary enough. "That
man, you must remember, you have been marked with a star, that means good memory I
think.... But that man from when you were young was going to take you away, to a
school, were they prepared you for this day, but now, now you have to go to the
school.... Know I always love you." She said. It made sense then. Her wanting to
make sure I was safe and always pampering me, she wanted me to remember her better
then as the woman who gave me away. "They'll come at Midnight tonight, come on,
let's pack." So I just followed. My dad was at work, but right now I wanted him
home, to say good bye, just one last time, and kiss me on the forehead like he used
to all those years ago. My mom was a little off the time, ok, a lot. It was one
hour when there was a knock on my bedroom door.
So I kissed my mom goodbye and said that I loved her, then was pulled into a van
by a very impatient chafer.

"Hey, you must be the girl who was marked with the star." A girl said, she stood
with her friends following behind. "I'm Ly-Ann, that’s Aubrey, and back there is
Seirra." The girl said, pointing to the two girls behind her. I noticed her hand
marked with a green leaf. The one called Aubrey, a glowing red flame, and Seirra's
crescent moon shining an unearthly black. When the man left, all the girls stopped
smiling and looking happy.
Seirra stared me straight in the eyes. Aubrey's glowed with a ferocity I'd never
seen before, but Ly-Ann's showed this unknown pain. Finally Seirra broke the silence
and said, “Girl, I want to be the first to welcome you to hell”

Chapter 2
My mind ran like crazy. Hell? Did that mean they were gonna bully me?
"Girls, don't tell her that!" A soft voice commanded.
"Yes... sorry Fawn." Seirra said. Right now, I like this Fawn girl. I saw her and
my mouth fell down. She looked like one of those teen movie actresses. Or maybe one
of those beautiful anime characters in those shows I used to watch. She had brown
hair that was long with these two braids that fell upon her face. She had brown
eyes, that we're slightly closed, but I saw them without any problem. Her dress was
long and swept against the floor on the back, but came up by her knees in the
Her hand was imprinted with a paw mark.
"Hello. I am Fawn. The oldest in the girls group of Venus. Welcome." Venus was my
group apparently. I nodded. "Don't listen to what they say." Her eyes opened more
and I saw another personality. One with big eyes.... maybe she was a movie
I decided to study the girls a little bit more.
Aubrey was a medium height girl with smooth red hair and glasses. Her eyes were a
blue color. Seirra was shorter. She had short black hair with a red high light. Her
eyes were grey. A pretty shining grey though. Ly-Ann was almost as tall as Fawn.
had hair that was impossible to describe. It was long and spiraling. Her eyes were
deep brown, covered by taped up glasses.
"Fawn, we can show her around.... I know you have a tournament in one days, and
welll..... With Mercy gone...." I thought at first that they spoke of Mercy as a
verb. But Mercy was a girl, I found that out sometime later.... So I spent the
with three girls telling me how horrid this school was. Well that was what I
"school that bad?" I had asked, as I inspected the detailed work of an engraved
name plate.
"Not the school. What happens at the school. The only difference from every
school." Aubrey said. She was defiantly the mysterious one....
"The fights.... every Saturday." I looked at Seirra, the speaker, fights?
"No, not some dumb guys fighting, the school arranges for these. It's a life or
death match. You fight the other groups..... We just lost Mercy to Pluto.... Their
only strength was water.... and we lost Jessi to Mars.... air...."Ly-Ann said. My
mouth opened. "By teh end of school, only one of each mark can survive." So that
it.... I was being sent here to watch people die or be killed myself. Yay... Sounds
like fun.
"Don't worry they give you training." Aubrey piped up.
"She'll need it." A smooth voice said behind me. A turned to see a girl with
blonde hair, she was tall and slender..... she had the same star on her hand as me.
"Bite me Saphron." Ly-Ann said, she sounded unlike the girl who had been showing
"Would, but your not even close to my ranking." This Saphron flipped her perfect
hair and walked on, a group of girls following her, all as perfect as her. I saw
Ly-Ann eye one girl with a special hatred. She had the leaf mark as well.
"Saturn, never lost a battle yet." Seirra said with venom in her voice. Apparently
Saturn was the biggest threat.
We returned to our room. I decided to ask about when I was expected to represent
"Us, well, only Fawn does the fight this weekend. And our group, the first year
Venus, only does practices. We support the senior Venus. There's also the guys
group." I saw some blushing from a few girls.
"So how did those two girls you told me about die in a practice fight?"
“Jessi was complete accident. Sometimes your power just has this outbreak, and
well.... bad things can happen to the opponent. Kiesha, the girl from Mars who
accidentally killed Jessi, couldn't do anything for a whole month. She almost died.
we kinda knew she was sorry. But all Pluto’s hearts are as cold as teh planet.
Jane killed Mercy. She held her under the water for longer then even Mercy could
take. The worst is that Jane knew that Mercy would die. No, I change that. The
is that neither Jane nor Keisha were punished. Though Keisha took it upon herself
Punish herself."
"K, so if Saturn's is all perfect, and Pluto is cold hearted, what are we?"
"Misfits. Stuck here because nothing seemed to fit us. Everyone thought Fawn
would be a Saturn, but Flora, Saturn’s animalist, was in no way going down." So I
here because They didn't know were to put me. Great.
"Hey, I just realized something. We never asked your name."
“Kaitlyn, or Katy.” Fawn came in and lay down in a top bunk bed. Seirra
crawled onto the one across from her. Aubrey slid into the one with Sierra. I first
wondered where on earth was I gonna sleep when I saw another bed hidden deeper in a
"We kinda sorta liked to keep bad memories away..." Ly-Ann said as she pushed the
bed out of the darkness. "It was the one Mercy and Jessi shared. I really don't
like pulling the one for Star and Feeling. Believe it or not, that bunk always held
power and rarity, I still wonder why you weren't sent off to be with another
group.... Ah well, we luff ya!" Ly-Ann said laughing. I crawled up top, I felt
in the bed.
During the night, I still hadn't fallen asleep, I got off the bed and searched for
this bed for me and feeling.  I pushed back the one they put out for me. I replaced
it with one made more for me. It felt like the best thing ever....
When I woke up, the room was noisy.
"I noticed you replaced our lazy Earth girls offering." Seirra said, hitting her
friend over the head. Fawn was pulling up her hair and she left the braids there.
She pulled out some armor. It was thin and light weight. Nothing like what good
armor should be like. Nonetheless, Fawn put it on, then put on a dress. The metal
sleeves looked weird on with the dress.  She took down her hair and began to equip
herself with odd items.
"Today I pay back Pluto for what they did to Mercy." So I was going to watch a
battle between Fawn and the animalist of Pluto. This was going to be interesting.

Chapter 3
As we walked in the bustling busy hallways I heard cheers and taunts alike.
"Lydia has faced her match alright, Luck Fawn." A girl said as we entered what
would seem to be a normal gym locker room, if it weren't for the large painted word
Venus on one wall, a very detailed picture of Venus the planet, and plaques on the
other wall of superior Venus's. This older girl who spoke to Fawn was in much more
armor. Her right hand had the animal shape upon it.
"Same to you Ginger." Fawn said as she hugged the girl. I walked by Aubrey to ask
ehr something when she started to explain.
"Ginger. Senior Venus. Most likely will not die facing Pluto. but will probably not
make it to the Saturn fight." I shuddered. She was going to have to kill the Pluto
girl. "And before you think she's killing Paige, that's not till the final
tournament. Though most die before that." I couldn't believe how easy this would go
for people...
"Aubrey, Katy, come on!" Seirra said as Ly-Ann jolted up and followed her.
We walked to a large seating section most likely for Venus. I saw Saturn across
from us, Um. Yeah. All levels were there, both gender as well, and all were drop
dead beautiful.... Which is starting to get creepy that I'm calling my sworn enemy
"FAWN!" I heard some boy shout our. He was smiling like a drunk.... which brought
me to wondering if he was a drunk. Ly-Ann hit him over the head, saying something I
couldn't hear.
Then everyone was in uproar. Fawn had stepped out, along with the Pluto girl,
A man, much like my impatient chafer, stood out in
the middle of the grassy field.
"The rules!" I jumped at the magnitude of his voice, “You cannot purposefully
kill the other girl. All magic items are able to be used. you may not borrow power
for this practice session." He eyed Lydia, who was forced to reveal the borrowed
power. What was borrowed power? I made a note to ask one of my new friends.
"BEGIN!" He disappeared, then reappeared on a stand like those volleyball or tennis
professional referees use.
Fawn walked forward and shook the girls hand. Though everyone knew she would much
rather be killing her right here and now. They turned and walked backwards a few
paces. It was silent for a while, no jeering at this battle. Then a loud sound was
heard and teh area was filled with stampeding animals, or what I thought to be
animals. Really they were full size apparitions that held their bulk and weight.
I wondered which was Lydia's and which was Fawn's. But my question was answered
quickly. A large rhino began to charge at Fawn, but Fawn dodged, Lydia was being
swarmed by beautiful butterflies and other graceful animals. A lake... or pond... or
something like that came from no where. All for a sudden the animals swarming Lydia
pushed her into the water. A fish, or some other water creature pushed Lydia under
the water. Fawn's surrounding animals became nothing but hazy shapes and so Fawn
walked forward to the pond/lake/river/thing.
She grabbed Lydia's head and pulled sharply. Lydia came up sputtering.
"How do you like it, Scum." Then a whistle was blown and a flag, with Venus's
symbol, was risen. Fawn had won.
She walked forward and raised her arms at our side. Then there was an outburst of
cheers. From the other side I heard people booing her.
"That was done quicker and less violently." Seirra said. For some odd reason she
sounded truly disappointed.
"Your fighting next week, so don't get to down." Ly-Ann said laughing as Seirra
perked up.
For the rest of the day we watched many similar fights, once we got into the last
three years did they get interesting. So far only two wins from Pluto. The first
six* were actually kind of boring, I only paid a lot of attention to The first two,
then got bored and lay back. When we got to the last six, the oldest boys and girls,
was it violent. I watched in horror as Ginger almost killed the pluto girl, and she
had to be carried off in a stretcher....
"TEH FINAL SCORE IS 10 VENUS, 2 PLUTO. VENUS IS VICTOR!" The man shouted from his
little podium thingy.
We all clustered around Fawn, telling her good job and all that stuff. As we sat at
Taco Bell, apparently Fawn's favorite restaurant,           Ly-Ann's cell phone
to blare Sugar Were going down. She sang to it for lie, ever, then finally opened it
and talked to whoever it was.
"Uh.... guys...." Ly-Ann said looking kinda awkward. "That was the Venus
council.... Apparently Seirra did something horribly bad."
Seirra totally freaked out, "Oh god.... what’s gonna happen to me?!" She said, i
wondered what could be so bad.
"I'm kidding, HAH! Seirra you should have seen your face! Sorry, no we have a new
room mate." She said dodging flying tacos and nachos.

Chapter 4
Aubrey took a napkin out and flashed her eyes at the ditzy counter girl, blowing
her bubble gum and walking over here. She wiped her glasses off with the napkin from
the cheese fight.
"Can someone Please take care of the human before she gets here!" Seirra said, "I'm
hopeless at doing that, cause you know, me invading Taco Bell with shadow spirits
all that stuff isn't a good idea."
"Neither is burning her..."
"Or sending animal spirits at her...."
"Whatever I can do is probably impossible, I mean, we aren't allowed to show a big
show of our powers to humans can we?" Then I realized something, we had all been
addressing this girl as a human.... Well, if we weren't humans, what were we?
"yeah, here comes the lecture, save as much food as possible!" Ly-Ann said, then I
thought about it, Ly-Ann hadn't said anything.
"What can you do?"
"Nuttin much.... come on! Save the food!" I never realized her addiction to
"Uh... girls... can you, like totally, stop throwing food and ugh.... being loud and
obnoxious? Like please? Cause even though I really really don't wanna, I'll have to,
like totally, kick you out.... soooooooo..... Umm.... Yeah." She walked away, then I
saw it, Ly-Ann saw it along with me. The lights got dark and this weird light came
around this girl. But it wasn't like the light around me, or I guessed any of the
other girls. This one seemed dark, and unwelcoming. She was in pain, I could hear
her yelling.
"Aubrey! What's going on here!" I shouted, but she was a s clueless as I was. But
we all had the same idea, we ran up to the girl and began to pull her, tornado,
light, pain and all out the door.
We pulled ehr into an ally. When it was all done. She was breathing hard.
"My hand! It burns! I feel like it's burning!" I grabbed ehr right hand. Nothing
seemed wrong, but then I saw it. It was a spark. It slowly went up, leaving a long
searing scar, as it began to pull out a shape, I heard Ly-Ann hold her shoulders and
ehr left hand. Saying something comforting, then I heard one word from Aubrey.
"The dagger." I looked down and saw what she meant. Her mark was a silver dagger,
with blood dripping down the tip. I gasped, because it was her blood. It left a
"Aubrey...what. What's wrong with a  dagger?" I knew something was wrong, I wouldn't
have thought so if there wasn't the blood, but it just gave it an eeriness I
couldn't get out of my head.
"Kaitlyn.... Ly-Ann, Seirra. Fawn, do you know what this is?" All of us shook our
"The dagger of Death." My body felt cold. I didn't want to know more. I was even
tempted to leave this unknown girl and ehr even more unheard of mark.
Like she was reading my mind, Ly-Ann said, "we can't leave her. She was, is, my
best friend... Her name is  Erin." Ly-Ann held Erin's hand soft and she carefully
picked the girl up, surprisingly easily. She put on her on her back like a
piggy-back ride.
When we came back to the dorm, Erin still unconscious.
"Ummm.... hi?" A voice said from my bunk. I was about to instruct her it was mine
when her red marked hand came out. Feeling.
"Hi, sorry no one was here, we had a victory to celebrate, then we found punky
over there." I suddenly realized that Erin was what you'd call a punk or a goth or
something like that.
"Her name is Erin. And who would you be?" Ly-Ann said as she pushed Erin onto a
bed, specifically her bed.
"Brandy!" She said. This girl was short with blonde, short wavy hair. She seemed
kind of perky, but not in an annoying w

MeepingMeep says:   19 October 2008   725193  
CRAP! K... I be posting teh rest of it in later diaries..... *goes
and cries*
‹SqueeneyTodd› says:   19 October 2008   936558  
Wow, that is LONG, but better than last time!
MeepingMeep says :   21 October 2008   636174  
*wakes up and looks at anime* MMmmmmHmmmm, BTW! We pulled names at
lunch, TJ got you, and you get me.


Next entry: NEW CHARRIES! in category Story I can't decide a name for : )
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