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This diary entry is written by xRebeccahSaysHellooX. ( View all entries )
 
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ONLY PARTS OF MY LIFE.Category: (general)
Tuesday, 2 September 2008
10:44:24 PM (GMT)
I am just a girl who once upon a time fell in love with a boy.As that saying
goes,"you can only push a girl out of your life for so long until she walks out and
leaves on her own". Well, thats what I had to do.Broke my heart, but it was for the
best.
I am just a girl who's learned a lot in her not so long life so far.
Beautiful girl with her gorgeous eyes has a hidden world of hurt & lies.

As a child I grew up with mixed signals, mixed feelings. I was always told i was
ugly,a brat, freak, loser, stupid, fat, etc. As I got older, boys started telling me
i was pretty, hot, etc. My current boyfriend says he can't believe that i don't think
i am pretty, but its not my fault, and i really dont think i am. I've grown adapted
to hearing i was ugly and so on and so forth. 

When I was four, my parents divorced, and my only real friend in life was my
grandmother, until she died when i was in third grade. Granted, I had some good
friends, but still to this day I can never talk about whats wrong with me. When she
died, that's when everything went wrong. 

About the time when I was in fourth grade, my cousin/ godfather abused me. In about
fifth grade, thats when I told someone. But no one did anything. They always took his
side. Now I think they see that it was very possible & true that he would do such a
thing, since he is/was such a druggie, messed up guy.
 
That was about that time that I started cutting, that habit continued for about three
years.
 
Finally the abuse stopped and things were better. 
A couple of years later, family issues continued to get worse and worse, and then my
grandfather died, which made family problems EVEN worse. 

I learned a lot of things through the years, and here I am now.

I had a very interesting summer, in which I found&lost love, met back up with my best
friends, &met a lot of new people. A new school year has begun, and following that
will be a new year in which I will make the most of my life.

Comments 
Scout says:   7 September 2008   155867  
i don't know what to say bec....I can only give you this peice of
advise...You have to love yourself...whether or not you believe anyone
else does.....and I think that this is a good time to develope your
relationship with your God.
xRebeccahSaysHellooX says:   7 September 2008   564131  
I believe i DO have that relationship.
Scout says:   7 September 2008   888658  
I'm not insinuating that you haven't...I'm just saying that you need
to strenghen the relationship....if you can't trust anyone...if you've
had these aweful things happen to you...you need someone to whom you
can o[en your heart and talk to...and trust
Scout says:   7 September 2008   985189  
did you leave kupica?
xRebeccahSaysHellooX says:   7 September 2008   194334  
and indeed i do.

and yeah i went to beddxP
Scout says:   28 September 2008   595316  
haha...NO!! lol!  ;P
xRebeccahSaysHellooX says :   28 September 2008   399912  
..............Yes.

 
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