Saturday, 30 August 2008
12:07:10 AM (GMT)
Chapter five: Answers
"So here's the story. Pay attention because it won't make sense unless you
listen every mo-"
"Franks your uncle." Emily interupted. "Last year your dad divorced with your mom,
and was run over by a truck a few months later. You didn't miss him he, was a jerk."
She continued. Frank took up the narration then saying "Your mom and I had always
been close, so me and my wife moved in so she wouldn't have to raise you and your
brother alone." he said. Emily piped up "and most of the town had been on your moms
side during the divoce so when my mom had to get a new house she moved next to you
guys so that if she lost her car in the divorce they could car pool. Which is good
because she did lose the car, but when you dad died he left you, your mom, and your
brother each fifty thousand dollars anyway, and she got a decent used one. Go
figure." "Anyway our families bonded so when your mom was offerd two jobs in Europe
and left with you to check them out the whole gang came along. Emily and Mrs.
Farjoun, you and your mom, plus me and my pregnant wife." said Frank.
"Oh congratulations!" I said. Seemed like a reasonably happy story to me. Okay so
my parents may have sufferd a bitter divorce that split the town, and
maybe my father sufferd a violent death but... Well everyones happy
now. Alls well that ends well.
"Yes thank you, we're thrilled, we want to paint the bed roo-" started Frank- I
mean Uncle Frank.
"Yes, yes the baby, the baby. Can we move on please?" said Emily. "Anyway we were
best friends so we had seats next to one another on the plane to Britain. So I got
the best veiw of some violently insane freak jump you with a knife. More then a
thousand feet in the air. He'd been in a mental hospital when someone made the
mistake of letting him read the Twilight books. He became convinced that the medicine
he was taking was actually to weaken his vampire powers." she caught the look I was
giving her. "Hey I said he was insane didn't I? Anyway he got out and robbed the
register and safe in a CVS to get enough money to fly to europe with the intent of
walking to Italy with his super human strength and joining the Volturi. Don't ask me.
He suddenly decided that you were his "la tua cantante", singer, and attacked
you. He bit your neck first, he'd filed his teeth to points and everything, but when
not enough blood came out he drew a knife and cut your head open. Eveyone near by
tried to grab the knife and push him off you." She showed a white line running across
a few fingers where she'd tried to grab the blade.
"yeah some of us got cut pretty bad. You were the worst though Penelope, by far.
That monster put you in a coma from blood loss and truama. I was the only doctar on
board and the only thing I'm really certified to do is give booster shots, and
it took nearly a half hour to find someone with a sewing kit for stiches anyway.
Meanwhile my wife was holding some mans hankercheif to you head and Emily was fanning
your mother because after spending several minutes in hysterics she fainted. Everyone
was freaking out and several people wet themselves because the maniac was locked in
the bathroom. The pilot wanted to intiat an emergency landing right away but I
conviced him that wouldn't do you any good, and he should land near a hospital or at
the very least in a actual town." He said, looking annoyed.
"We got you down in hour after the attack but it was to late. You almost died
and ended up in a coma for three weeks anyway. Finally you stared to wake up but the
doctar gave you some drug to make you sleep off of the last of your injuries anyway.
My mom talked your mom into at least checking out that first job offer while we were
in London but she hated it. She figured since you were still unconcious you'd at
least want her to see the job in France since you said you saw a French girls school
you like online anyway. Only the doctar forbid you to fly, and he wanted the boat to
be slow with all the on board care possible. So here we are." she said happily.
"Yes." said Frank, "On a excurshiatingly slow cruise ship to a far off French
port, miles away from any hospital if anything went wrong with you." he said looking
frusterated. "We were all worried about you. The fact that your brother flew in from
the States when he heard what happend with cheery online research about how people
with comas sometimes wake up with amnesia really helped alot too."
"So there you have it. That's one soap opera of a life story you got there
girlfriend. Do you have all the answers your looking for?" said Emily.
"Yeah," I muttered "I got my answers alright."