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This diary entry is written by I_AM_NAMINE484. ( View all entries )

INSIDE MY HEADCategory: My Mind
Friday, 4 July 2008
10:51:40 PM (GMT)
You wanna know what goes on inside of my head?
It's a bunch a little poetry peices working together to make something that will be
remembered your whole life.
                Feelings mean nothing in this small world of pain, torture and
misunderstanding. Thatĺs why they invented music, a little line in this world that is
used to express small feelings and big ideas. Its free expression is the one that
leaves us with these spoiled little pop stars who don't know how good they've got it.
So they use it to their advantage. They hold it up, possibly even worshipping it and
all its glory and shining beauty that people once and still do fear. Though most
people are unique in that certain way that they can evolve and rise above that fear,
leaving those forgotten feelings, molten and discolored into this little world of
pain, torture and misunderstanding. What I really don't get is that no matter how
hard people try there will always be darkness in their hearts, because the songs they
sing always have a shred of doubt keeping the melody from dying. 
Now here's what I'll actually write: 
	The dreams that were once at my dissatisfaction are now slowing slipping into a
forgotten darkness. My poetic cloud is fading above me, and right before my very
eyesůmy world is crumbling. The mysteries behind my thoughts, the same behind my
dreams. The summer and the winter of my discontent. Though the nights slowly turn
into days. The dreams slowly turn into nightmares. The cork board above my bed, full
of a schedule. One for my life, never to be done. Never to be frowned upon, unless
spoken to and spit upon by the one thing has that annoyed me the most. A backstabber,
a convincing, soft, voice that creeps into my room every night and whispers in my
ear. I love youůCould it be at my satisfaction that at the death of this voice shall
I be happy again? Not to be buried away in an unmarked grave and come back as a ghost
haunting me more than in life. Though I am in the spring in my life, I feel as if
it's my winter and the lines on my hands are marks never to be gone. Walking by the
emotional people that cut their wrists. Deeper and deeper by the day. The scabs never
mend. Though the faces grow longer, and sadder, day by day, bit by bit, they are
fading away, into the devil's smirking hands. I turn around to find a black dog
staring me in the face. Black eyes, blacker than the soul that has once and always
will torture the souls of the world. An omen, shall the world die in the next few
seconds, minutes, hours, days, years, decades? The picture frame crashes to the
floor, the glass cuts the wrists of these poor tortured souls. An unwilling gesture,
to the suicidal, homicidal, and serial arsonists. The wars are killing us all and
bringing us into a wanting curse, that sucks the blood and drains the mind of all its
beliefs and dreams. Only to become a brain washed monster, we continue with our poor,
pathetic lives. You slowly slip back into reality as the very existence of your day
dream fades into the back of your mind to be forgotten and ignored existence like
those very people you love, forget, and don't remember till the day you die,
realizing that every sentence that you so mournfully forgot has held you up like a
dying flower in the winter of its life to say "You know I'll always love you. There
will be other people that I love. But none as much as you." Than as your being pulled
through the depths by cold hands, you use your last breaths to whisper to yourself
"Thank you. I love you too." And than you die... Every word you say seeps through
your lips with a worth that only means a LIE! Every period at the end of a sentence,
only shows that the very next thing you say shall either break my heart, or piss me
off. You can think of so many words to say that would leave me broken in the street,
to lay there until the rain stops falling and the last breath has been breathed. I
don't blame you. My monsters, my little feelings, sitting on my back, have only shown
me how evil, how nice, how annoying, how worried, how broken, I can be. I wish that
every look has not been as much as a lie. I only wish that the world could not be so
cruel to the little guy. No I'm not popular, no I'm not pretty, but I love the way I
am, and so do many other people. I'm not about to sink away into an abyss that has
swallowed so many other souls, and dusted them away into thinking that everything
they do, everything they think, everything they say is wrong. I have breathed every
breath that you lied for. I have dreamt every evil thought that has seeped into your
sinned mind. I have comforted every wound that you have angered into these poor
soul's minds. I have no quarrel with you, but everything you think, or do, or say,
has always brought natural disaster. Everyone has endured you. Your nightmare, your
thoughts, your sins, they all have led you into the dark circle of Hades, that
swallowed you so many years ago. I have lived it all; I've been through the things
that people fear. I just wish I had friends to help me through it. The edges of the
mountains are slowly fading into the clouds and the darkness that indicates the sign
of yet another day that has ended the beginning of a new night. 
Last edited: 4 July 2008

‹-Swaggn╬╣f╬╣cent kh╬╣dd|┬ź› writes:   4 July 2008   536564  
Wow....That is long....
I_AM_NAMINE484 says:   4 July 2008   314111  
told you
vampkid12 says:   4 July 2008   687945  
wow thats long love
I_AM_NAMINE484 says:   4 July 2008   328851  
i know told ya you didnt have to red it
‹rawr;;scarry*cupcake!!› says:   5 July 2008   539127  
this was sweet...very nice
I_AM_NAMINE484 says :   5 July 2008   581765  
=) thanks


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