This diary entry is written by Emo_Suicide. ( View all entries )
Friday, 14 September 2007
11:00:15 PM (GMT)
">I'm scared you've forgot me,
I'm scared you moved on,
do you still love me,
oh please don't say no..
my life has fallen,
my spirit has broken,
the pain has got worse,
words are now unspoken,
I'm scared ill get hurt and heartbroke again,
oh how i want to be unbroken,
Ive locked myself up and gave in to the darkness,
I'm living a nightmare when will i be woken?
i still love you, with all my black heart,
you've probably moved on and left me alone,
I'm a broken down angel,
weeping, crying,cutting,dying..I close my eyes, sweet dreams I hope to find,
sleep escapes as peace is not mine!
No sound can be heard as my lips call your name,
silence echoes the lonely call in the pouring rain!
With each drop my heart crys for relief,
to wash away this sorrow and endless grief!
My mind plays upon the music of past songs,
dancing blindly in search of a page to belong!
Words becoming reality, reality a thing of the past,
floating on the wind finding home atlast...
in the endless sea of lost hope and doubt,
forever swimming and drifting about... The flames consume my worthless soul,
I drown inside this vulgar world...
My heart has lacked the will to beat,
I feel no strength inside of me.
All hope for a future has gone with the past,
All time that I spent I can never get back...
I feel so miniscule while I'm dodging their feet,
as my world seems to buckle and plummet towards me...
I am drowning so fast and there's no one around;
It seems like there is no hope left for me now...
And I dream of a light swooping down through the flames,
though I know it's just silly to wish for those things.
Entrenched in this hell, bound by both legs and feet...
I know that there's no hope remaining for me...
Running faster and faster but standing in place
as I watch overcome me, so slowly: My Fate.
Depleted of caring, Consumed by their smiles,
Why are they so happy? Are they in denial?
Does anyone else live in sadness and drear,
or is that why I'm alone and can't be repaired?
I'm turning and turning, I see no windows...
With no doors or exits, there's nowhere to go...
I'll drown in my tears, leaving only the rain
that can come upon me and wash away the pain
but I know it is hell I am going to go...
And the sin: I was born...
Born with too small a voice...
And it seems that in birth, we are given no choice.
We're just placed in a body and thrown onto earth...
Loose bolts are falling, my eyes gouged and tumid...
I know I am dying, I have to go through this......
This pain that seems worse than a death in itself,
such a pain that I know nobody else ever felt...
Do you see all the flames? Do you see all the blood,
all the terror and fears that I've conquered alone.
Do you even realize that I'm standing right here...
If I was in the road, would you even steer clear?
It is empty, this feeling, so hopeless and blunt...
I am falling and falling with nothing below..
No hope that remains, no reasons to hold on...
I begin to diminish, as was all along.
You watch as the ghost you can't see disappears,
You don't know I'm the ghost that drowned in his own tears...
You don't know I was murdered... Emotionally.
That each hit seems to scar, and eventually,
Don't you know that my wrists have become overrated,
the truths are all lies, and my empire is jaded.
I'm going to fail, now it only is, "How?"
We all know I am sinking...
There is no hope now...
Repeating myself never seemed much more dull,
but I feel that my words aren't expressing at all...
There's nobody who wishes to read any words;
I'm the ghost with a pen but without a cartridge...
And you'll pass by this hell, as you walk down the street,
unaware you are watched, by the ghost known as me...
And if you'd only look, you would see falling tears,
and maybe you would save me, maybe you would see....
But just like all the other humans that walk by,
You are so consumed with your own feelings to try...
You won't give an effort, you'll just put down: No Cure,
as I'm lost in translation,
[You don't even see me? Why do you not speak?
Are there no words you wish to commute with me?
Have I become so foolish to even believe
that I word would be spoken to
Should I rot in my grave, although
Should I pull out my hair and stab myself instead?
Should I ask for salvation to be, once more, refuted,
or just take my fate with the pain, undisputed?
I know it's unfair,
but it's life,
and it's earth...
It was not even fair on the day of my birth...
I'm stuck here, so Hopeless,
I'm stuck here... Alone.
I'm stuck here so empty,
With nowhere to go.
These walls act like fire,
my soul is a nerve
and I know if I try to escape,
And there's no hope remaining,
I'm going insane...
With nothing left to do,
I can only feel pain.
There's nobody to speak to,
nobody to hold...
They are gone,
and I know,
they will never return.
So the next time you see me,
Give me gasoline,
cause the faster I burn
means less pain I receive.
Last edited: 1 January 2009
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