I'm burning up with apathy and only drowning will save me. Login to Kupika  or  Create a new account 

This diary entry is written by ‹✖[[AntisocialButterfly]]✖›. ( View all entries )
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I'm burning up with apathy and only drowning will save me.Category: Myself
Saturday, 25 February 2012
08:04:28 PM (GMT)
Every day I paint a new picture in my head. 
But first I check to see if the one from yesterday is still there. 
And I find it dead on the floor. 
And I burn it like so many pages of books I'll never get to read. 
Happiness is something that parents give their children for their birthdays. 
I can never look into the eyes of another person and see anything but the reflection
of myself. 
Every day I paint a new picture in my head.
Today's picture is full of life and chaos. 
Through glamour and disguise, I still recognize  you. 
You see everything. And I can't help but to want to wait until I'm older, 
and I can leave this town, and show you all the pictures I took 
of all the places I'll never get to go. 
Some day things will change. Rain won't fall. Flowers won't bloom. 
People won't die. 
We'll sit and wonder at everything, thinking thoughts we were never
capable of before. 
I've heard we only use ten percent of our brains, haven't you heard that, too?
Well some day things will change. And we'll use all 100% of our brains,
and we'll take deep breaths, using all of our lungs, fillings up our bodies to the
with air and life and water. 
Please take me places.
Show me things and give me something small that I can keep in my pocket when you're
not around,
so that if I ever feel scared
I can reach in and touch it
and know that
no matter what 
I have this to hold on to,
I have you to hold on to. 
I cry every time I see the things I used to paint, now. 
So many mutilated bodies of people and angels. 
What has happened to me that I've forgotten?
I can't give up on myself like you did. 
I can't leave the little girl I used to be to sit in the ruins of broken toys, 
forever, just a doll with no eyes to see she's alone. 
I'll run blind if it comes to that, because looking back would make it all the same.

When it's pitch black, perfectly dark, tears turn invisible. No one knows this,
I can't keep on waiting for you, even though I know I promised. 
You're beautiful when you're broken, and you let the light shine through the cracks.

Stay here with me!
Hold my hand!
Look into my eyes!
And tell me exactly
everything you feel!

‹Saudade› says:   25 February 2012   826199  
This is beautiful o-o
‹✖[[AntisocialButterfly]]✖› says :   25 February 2012   704417  

Thank you AllyChan<3
Your opinion is valuable to me. 


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