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This diary entry is written by NikolaBleedsBleu. ( View all entries )
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Confession 2: Drugs, I'm NOT an AddictCategory: Confessions
Monday, 4 July 2011
06:06:05 PM (GMT)
My mom is spastic, overprotective and a bit scatterbrained honestly. She reminds me
of "floaty crowny things" (<--- Fairly Odd Parents) and rainbow happiness
marshmallows and I think that my dad is an asshole for upsetting her EVER and that
everything bad he gets he totally deserves. Well, yeah. She was scared to send us to
public school because we'd learn about sex and violence and be around kids that need
to be "reprogrammed" (her words, not mine). She is so passionate about what she
believes she sometimes forgets about her children and I don't really fault her for it
because we're pretty independent kids and all but she is a work-a-holic. And I dunno
she's a bit of a health crazed hippy too, she didn't want us to become like everyone
else ya know? Desensitized, superficial, mindless, passive, she's a huge activist and
supports us and she's just and amazing person that makes you feel like shit when you
lie to her because she's just so sweet. Well, I lie to her all the time. I know if I
tell her the truth it would kill her but so I choose the lesser of 2 evils and she
will never find out about the other one. 

So she never wanted us to do drugs (ever) or drink (before 21) and ya know she's
pretty straight edge and since we did end up going to public school she was always
(and is always) asking us if we do ____ or if we know about _____ or if our friends
do it or whatever. And she's scared we'll get into drugs because she had a hard time
with drugs and so she looks me in the eye and asks me "Nik, have you ever tried
drugs?" and I look her in the eye and say "No, mom. Of course not!" And she says "And
you never will?" And I say "I don't even know where I could get something like that,
I don't even want to touch the stuff." And she smiled and says good and continues
talking about whatever and I feel sick as shit.

Minor and Major: 
-I lied to my mom, that's the minor. The major is I've been doing drugs for like 3
years, pills mostly but I started out just smoking marijuana with friends. Acid,
ecstasy, trank; it's only once in a while at a party if someone has some but often
enough that it's something I'm known well enough for that people find me at a party
to see if I want to buy or something. Of course I don't get money from my parents to
do this shit, which I feel sort of makes it better but yeah. I'll talk about that
later I guess when I feel more comfortable talking about it. But yeah. I'm going to
stop, I don't plan on doing it much longer and I don't want to do it at all in
college so I'm trying to stop now and forever. AND it's not like I use large amounts,
I get it all from a legit guy and he only sells small doses and I won't buy from
anyone else and I don't use shit that didn't come from him. No one knows that. But I
trust him. Me and my brother do them together at parties, he only does it at parties
and I do them at home sometimes when our parents are both away for business or at
friend's houses when their parents are away. I'm not a druggy or anything I really
can stop when I want to it's just a matter of putting my money in the bank and
leaving it there and not hanging out with certain people.
Last edited: 5 July 2011

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