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i am a ranty, venty kind of personCategory: personal stuff
Friday, 6 May 2011
06:25:25 PM (GMT)
i love emilie autumn. and i know that to some people that sets off warning bells. i'm so ridiculously happy that she's gotten more and more popular and well known, because she's bloody amazing and deserves it a lot more than some of the morons who regularly get into number one on the charts. i like that i can actually fansquee with people and meet people who have the same kind of music tastes as me, because i'm so used to just getting blank stares when i start talking about it. but. some of the muffins. i know that embracing insanity is kind of a big part of EA muffin-dom, and i get that you feel as though someone else is going through what you're going through, about celebrating being different and special. heaven knows i understand that, because i've spent enough time with my headphones plugged into my ears feeling as though finally someone gets it. but i'm sick to death of talking to girls who are all 'i must be crazy, i listen to emilie' or 'it's so beautiful and different to be suffering' or 'i wish i could be in an insane asylum'. what. do you honestly think that in a mental hospital you get to sit around wearing pretty dresses and having teaparties in the middle of the night? have you actually read her book? you remember how she talks about not even being allowed to have a pen to write with? that actually happens. and lose all ideas about having tea parties with china sets, you might break the teacup and try to slit your wrists with the shards. and to the ones of you who are wishing you could be raped - rape is a demeaning and horrific thing, and it's not going to make you any more creative or soulful. it's not a nice thing to have a mental illness. it's scary. the obsession with death is a lot less fun when it's always there, not only there when you want it to be so you can pretend to be more like your idol. trust me. it's not fun to have schizophrenia, or ocd, or depression or bi-polar disorder. it doesn't make you a more creative person, or cooler. stop diagnosing yourself with illnesses or saying you have them just because you've decided it will make you a more interesting person. it won't. it's not something you can throw off when you think you've had enough of it and you want to go back to the 'real world' and stop playing in the asylum. it's some people's real world. it's my real world, and believe me, it's not romantic or pretty or nice. and suicide? jesus. have you ever talked to anybody who's tried suicide, or who's lost somebody close to them because of it? it's a horrific thing. guess what, you're not going to get anybody coming to pat you on the back and tell you well done, you're officially mad. and i don't mean someone who's done it to get some cool scars on their arms - if you're really, honestly going to end your life, there might not be anything after it. imagine what that's like. think about that next time you gush to someone over how you wish someone would come along and lock you up. because you know what? someday they just might. and after you've been locked alone in a room and hardly allowed anything in case you try and kill yourself with it, you can come and talk to me about how dramatic and crazy and great it was. urgh. and this isn't directed at anyone in particular, just a particular subset of fans - and generally, unfortunately, the ones i know in real life. rant over. actually wait, let's leave on an EA lyric. You think this torment is romantic, well it's not, except to you.
Last edited: 6 May 2011

‹Hannahbeth ♥› says :   6 May 2011   867481  
for what it's worth, i completely agree. there's nothing beautiful
about self destruction. -_-


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