Friday, 6 May 2011
02:25:25 PM (GMT)
i love emilie autumn. and i know that to some people that sets off warning bells. i'm
so ridiculously happy that she's gotten more and more popular and well known, because
she's bloody amazing and deserves it a lot more than some of the morons who regularly
get into number one on the charts. i like that i can actually fansquee with people
and meet people who have the same kind of music tastes as me, because i'm so used to
just getting blank stares when i start talking about it.
but. some of the muffins.
i know that embracing insanity is kind of a big part of EA muffin-dom, and i get that
you feel as though someone else is going through what you're going through, about
celebrating being different and special. heaven knows i understand that, because i've
spent enough time with my headphones plugged into my ears feeling as though
finally someone gets it.
but i'm sick to death of talking to girls who are all 'i must be crazy, i listen to
emilie' or 'it's so beautiful and different to be suffering' or 'i wish i could be in
an insane asylum'.
what. do you honestly think that in a mental hospital you get to sit around wearing
pretty dresses and having teaparties in the middle of the night? have you actually
read her book? you remember how she talks about not even being allowed to have a pen
to write with? that actually happens. and lose all ideas about having tea parties
with china sets, you might break the teacup and try to slit your wrists with the
shards. and to the ones of you who are wishing you could be raped - rape is a
demeaning and horrific thing, and it's not going to make you any more creative or
it's not a nice thing to have a mental illness. it's scary. the obsession with
death is a lot less fun when it's always there, not only there when you want it
to be so you can pretend to be more like your idol. trust me. it's not fun to
have schizophrenia, or ocd, or depression or bi-polar disorder. it doesn't make you a
more creative person, or cooler. stop diagnosing yourself with illnesses or saying
you have them just because you've decided it will make you a more interesting person.
it won't. it's not something you can throw off when you think you've had enough of it
and you want to go back to the 'real world' and stop playing in the asylum. it's some
people's real world. it's my real world, and believe me, it's not romantic or
pretty or nice.
and suicide? jesus. have you ever talked to anybody who's tried suicide, or who's
lost somebody close to them because of it? it's a horrific thing. guess what, you're
not going to get anybody coming to pat you on the back and tell you well done, you're
officially mad. and i don't mean someone who's done it to get some cool scars on
their arms - if you're really, honestly going to end your life, there might not be
anything after it. imagine what that's like.
think about that next time you gush to someone over how you wish someone would come
along and lock you up. because you know what? someday they just might. and after
you've been locked alone in a room and hardly allowed anything in case you try and
kill yourself with it, you can come and talk to me about how dramatic and crazy and
great it was.
urgh. and this isn't directed at anyone in particular, just a particular subset of
fans - and generally, unfortunately, the ones i know in real life. rant over.
actually wait, let's leave on an EA lyric.
You think this torment is romantic, well it's not, except to you.
Last edited: 6 May 2011