Tuesday, 15 February 2011
11:43:17 PM (GMT)
Hi, it's me.
Just writing online to no one at all with a pretty background and drinking tea while
listening to my own profile song on repeat, like I have nothing else to do. I need to
get ready for dance but I'm not going to. Not yet. It can wait.
Today was fun, part of it anyway, and I think I made him jealous on parts and for
some reason that makes me feel better. I know it shouldn't, but oh. It does. I sat in
one of his friends laps, and cuddled with him. And I thought he was at the other
school today, but he wasn't and he came to the library and he saw and he walked away.
Then he texted me and asked me what it was all about, and I told him, there wasn't
room on the couch. I can cuddle with boys if I want to because aren't we technically
on a break?
It's true, it is. But, I know that gives him permission to do what I did. To have a
girl lay in his lap and cuddle with him and I don't want that. I just needed someone
to cuddle with, it was cold. But I suppose that won't matter. Will it?
And I almost lost your ring and I wanted to cry and Brent, he told me not to. He told
me it wouldn't even matter if I lost it. So I had to calm down.
So I did.
and Eleanor said she would hurt him if she needed to, they all tell me that. But I
don't want them to. I don't want anyone to hurt him ever. It would make me upset.
and I scratched. It'll probably scar. But I don't care. No one noticed but Travis,
and he just hugged me. Because Travis loves me.