Tuesday, 23 February 2010
06:27:55 AM (GMT)
I've begun reading Grimm's Fairytales, the unaltered translations. Yikes. Lots more
gore than disney put in, but that's not what bothers me really. These are supposed to
be fairytales. Where's the magic? I'm not bothered by the wicked step
sisters taking an axe and lopping off chunks of their feet in cinderella, but did you
know that the Grimm brothers didn't have a fairy godmother? Or the pumpkin? Or the
Also, the people who come out on top in these stories are usually the
stupid ones. A young man was thrown out of his fathers house because he had never
learned a trade and put himself in life threatening situations unknowingly, but at
the end the kid becomes King.
Speaking of Kings, the king of Grimm are total pedobears. Their always
riding along when they find the protaganist (young beautiful blonde maiden who is
either a princess in search of her brothers or some unfortunate peasant. Either way
the girl is usually a mute in this tales.) and the king is always like:
"Child, what are you doing in a place such as this?" "..." "Canst you
speak?" "..." [But the King was charmed by her beauty and so took her away on his
horse to be his wife and the wedding was celebrated with much vigor, and soon she
bore him a beautiful son.]
Whoa- how'd we jump from him calling her child to her having his babies??
And you can't fool us Grimm, you naughty Germans; "celebrated with much vigor" means
you wearing giving the girl beer, weren't you?
Setting aside a small cultural obession with beer, one of the main
characters in another story is a sausage. A literal sausage. It lived with a mouse
and a bird, and the mouse tended the fire, the bird fetches wood and water, and the
sausage cooked the meals.
It's a sausage!
Another story begins like this-
"One day a large cock said "My nuts are ready, let us go and have some pleasure
together." And so they stayed on the hill long through the afternoon, and that
evening the hen said..."
Oh, it's a chicken now, is it? xD
Appearently, the rooster didn't want a squirrel to eat their almonds, so they went to
go eat them. Okay translator. Sure. I'm so sure that's what you meant us to think.