Friday, 20 March 2009
09:40:55 PM (GMT)
I'm getting a little confused.
I try to help everyone, Yet I fail. When my friends get in fights, I get so easily
distracted and lose track of what they are saying, Only because I'm trying to
not inflict more problems, and they get mad at me. Like today, one of my
friends was Sad And I tried to cheer her up, and she just walked away and didn't
even SPEAK To me. D:
What the hell did I do? Then Whenever I'm truthful about something, someone
gets hurt. But when I lie, They get hurt.
MAKE UP YOUR GODDAMNED MIND!
They want me to be there for Them, They don't want me too. They want
me to help them, When I try they get mad.
I guess I just fail at being a friend.
Everyone seems like they want me to listen to them, and understand everything. When
I say I do, They don't believe me. When I say I don't. They don't want to hear it.
When I said, "Boy trouble sucks." they look at me irritated because I've told them
before. They say they understand. My heart says don't, But I know you do.
They all think I just live in this happy world. Nothing goes wrong... I have no
problems left. I've moved on. But the truth is;
I just hide it better then I did before. I still cry at night and I still
have heartache and pain and all these things they say I don't know.
And it hurts because I can't do shit without screwing everything up. I'm on a two
inch wire out in the middle of a cliff. If I move I fall.
But sometimes I wonder if it would be better to see what was at the bottom.
Could there be better friends then before? Could there be riches beyond my belief?
Or would there be sorrow and Sharp pains, endless regret that I jumped?
Just what's going on, And why?
Why is this all happening now?
Is it because of Karma for making someone who loved me sad?
Or is it because I just wanted something to change when I was younger?
I wanted something new, of course, most people do.
But not of this sort, It's not fun at all.
I have had so much shit happen. And I'm sure everyone else has too. It's not a
competition to see who's more pathetic. It's about learning how you can help other
people become more joyous. Not by Lying, faking, backstabbing, acting sad, hopes
someone feels pity on you...
It's about the truth.
About how you can make things better and not cause drama.
How you can say the truth, and have friends that truly understand.
They won't hurt you.
You won't hurt them.
You will keep secrets, and have tons of slumber parties. Throwing popcorn, blaring
music, forgetting the world behind you.
Even just for that one night, everyone becomes happy.
And that can last for days.
The inside jokes are endless, My one friend said. But I wonder;
If our group keeps at this... Will there be anything to remember?
Will there be inside jokes?
If we keep at this, We'll all screw ourselves over.
Only because we are selfish Human beings, Some more then others. I just wish everyone
would at least try to tell the truth. Not
Especially when something IS wrong.
Learn to speak the truth, not just what falls out of your mouth.
Learn to say what you really feel, and know that if your friends hate you for it,
They aren't your true friends.
If you get turned down by your crush. Don't be sad. Try to look for someone else.
If you get a bad grade, work harder next time.
There is always going to be another day. Alive or not, There always will be.
Planet ending or not, There will still be time.
Don't think about sadness.
Don't cry over something not worth it.
Don't get pissed at the truth, If you do, tell your friend why and they will
understand it better.
Just do it.