A diary entry For the beggining of SPRING BREAK '09 Login to Kupika  or  Create a new account 

This diary entry is written by ‹SoraKudo.♥›. ( View all entries )
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A diary entry For the beggining of SPRING BREAK '09Category: (general)
Friday, 20 March 2009
05:40:55 PM (GMT)
I'm getting a little confused. I try to help everyone, Yet I fail. When my friends get in fights, I get so easily distracted and lose track of what they are saying, Only because I'm trying to not inflict more problems, and they get mad at me. Like today, one of my friends was Sad And I tried to cheer her up, and she just walked away and didn't even SPEAK To me. D: What the hell did I do? Then Whenever I'm truthful about something, someone gets hurt. But when I lie, They get hurt. MAKE UP YOUR GODDAMNED MIND! They want me to be there for Them, They don't want me too. They want me to help them, When I try they get mad. I guess I just fail at being a friend. Everyone seems like they want me to listen to them, and understand everything. When I say I do, They don't believe me. When I say I don't. They don't want to hear it. When I said, "Boy trouble sucks." they look at me irritated because I've told them before. They say they understand. My heart says don't, But I know you do. They all think I just live in this happy world. Nothing goes wrong... I have no problems left. I've moved on. But the truth is; I just hide it better then I did before. I still cry at night and I still have heartache and pain and all these things they say I don't know. And it hurts because I can't do shit without screwing everything up. I'm on a two inch wire out in the middle of a cliff. If I move I fall. But sometimes I wonder if it would be better to see what was at the bottom. Could there be better friends then before? Could there be riches beyond my belief? Or would there be sorrow and Sharp pains, endless regret that I jumped? Just what's going on, And why? Why is this all happening now? Is it because of Karma for making someone who loved me sad? Or is it because I just wanted something to change when I was younger? I wanted something new, of course, most people do. But not of this sort, It's not fun at all. I have had so much shit happen. And I'm sure everyone else has too. It's not a competition to see who's more pathetic. It's about learning how you can help other people become more joyous. Not by Lying, faking, backstabbing, acting sad, hopes someone feels pity on you... It's about the truth. About how you can make things better and not cause drama. How you can say the truth, and have friends that truly understand. They won't hurt you. You won't hurt them. You will keep secrets, and have tons of slumber parties. Throwing popcorn, blaring music, forgetting the world behind you. Even just for that one night, everyone becomes happy. And that can last for days. The inside jokes are endless, My one friend said. But I wonder; If our group keeps at this... Will there be anything to remember? Will there be inside jokes? If we keep at this, We'll all screw ourselves over. Only because we are selfish Human beings, Some more then others. I just wish everyone would at least try to tell the truth. Not ''I'm fine." Or "It's nothing." Especially when something IS wrong. Learn to speak the truth, not just what falls out of your mouth. Learn to say what you really feel, and know that if your friends hate you for it, They aren't your true friends. If you get turned down by your crush. Don't be sad. Try to look for someone else. (I'mnotSucceedingAtThatOneMyself, ButI'mTryingTheBestICan) If you get a bad grade, work harder next time. There is always going to be another day. Alive or not, There always will be. Planet ending or not, There will still be time. Don't rush. Don't panic. Don't think about sadness. Don't cry over something not worth it. Don't get pissed at the truth, If you do, tell your friend why and they will understand it better. Just do it. Just; TRY.

KokiriForest says:   20 March 2009   456741  
You don't fail at being a friend D:> This shit happens to everyone,
srsly. You'll be okay, I promisepromisepromise. And you're like an
amazing friend stfu D:<
‹SoraKudo.♥› says:   20 March 2009   253571  
I'm not. I think I just jumped, Claire. I really think I did. .-.
KokiriForest says:   20 March 2009   299977  
You aree.

I'll catch you then.
‹SoraKudo.♥› says:   20 March 2009   841265  
But you're not there at the bottom...
KokiriForest says:   20 March 2009   679427  
Then I'll jump with you.
‹SoraKudo.♥› says:   20 March 2009   259188  
You can't.
Claire you're up at the tippy top.
Please don't ruin you're life because of me.
KokiriForest says:   20 March 2009   824338  
Trust me, I've fallen to the bottom a fair number of times. :< 
I'm not always at the top. 
I'm up here cuz I climbed up and if I can climb up I'll strap you to
my back and take you with me D:<
‹SoraKudo.♥› says:   20 March 2009   823862  

Well then, You better jump now please So I won't be cold C:>
KokiriForest says:   20 March 2009   251889  
Will do. C: I'll bring my blanket that has fruit on it :D

We can sex when we get to the top, kay? <3
‹SoraKudo.♥› says:   20 March 2009   288474  
Sure, BBY.
Thank you so much.
KokiriForest says:   20 March 2009   497543  
Moiii pleasure loviee C: Cheer your pretty ass up, kay? <3
‹SoraKudo.♥› says:   20 March 2009   359863  
I'll try.

I'll just listen to the Hula song from Lion King.
KokiriForest says:   20 March 2009   635739  
Good call! 8D!!
‹SoraKudo.♥› says:   20 March 2009   795544  
KokiriForest says:   20 March 2009   838232  
KokiriForest says:   20 March 2009   156622  

‹SoraKudo.♥› says:   20 March 2009   111399  
‹DeliriousNightingale♥› says :   21 March 2009   392684  
Hey Cora.
If you need anything
just talk with me.
I haven't had the best life either,
but I always strive to be optimistic.


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