Wednesday, 4 March 2009
09:38:37 PM (GMT)
My friend Emsee wrote this, but i loved it, so i stole it!
Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned In Eighth Grade
I learned about crime and punishment...
Sweetie, you can't lock them in the art supply closet and wait until they fall in
love... it's against the law. -My mom
I learned about who your true friends are...
I call you a whore because that's what friends do, Emsee! -Michael
I learned about particle physics...
William's brain is so small I bet you couldn't see it with a transmission
electron microscope! -Ahmad
I learned about true love and heartbreak...
We we're talking on MSN, and then he randomly said, "Let's just be friends." My
life is over! -Pauline.
I learned about appropriate school conversation...
I don't want to dress up in a pregnant lady suit! Maybe I should stop trying to
get my wife pregnant. -Mr. Crema
I learned about what it's like to be truly lonely...
Honey, how happy can he be at Disney World when he has no siblings to go on the
rides with? -My mom
I learned about what's expected from students nowadays...
-Can you do, like, really nice cursive and really big letters so we can see it?
-Oh, sure. I'll do it tonight.
-So it'll be all in nice, flowy handwriting for tomorrow?
-Sir... I've been doing cursive since grade four, okay?
-That's awsome! -Mr. Webster
I learned about freedom of choice...
If you don't pay the fifty dollars, you aren't going to CC. Now, you don't have
to pay, but then you'll have to go to LDSS, and we don't want that, so bring in your
money! -Mr. Crema
I learned about taking charge...
So basically it won't matter for the girls if you stay up late in Muskoka,
because I'm sure nto going to discipline you. I'll probably be so tired I've passed
out in bed already. So don't be scared. -Ms. Daragon
I learned about honouring the classics...
Okay, the grade sevens are really not pulling off the whole vibe of Imagine.
Maywb they should watch the video on Youtube and get a feel for it... -Mrs.
I learned not to trust anyone but yourself...
Why are you asking me this? Why do you care if somebody came into our classroom?
Why do you want to know? Tell me now! Tell me or I won't tell you!!! Why are you
asking me this?!?! -Miranda
I learned about the properties of matter...
You can't touch me, I'm too gorgeous! I'm so hot, you'll burn yourself!
I learned about basic pleasures...
I want Jessica Alba. -Lucas
I learned about dreams that will never come true...
I wish Jessica Alba was my girlfriend. -Lucas
I learned about testing your boundaries...
Okay, we've already overstepped the line in saying Mary Magdalene wasn't a
prostitute. I want to say I believe the DaVinci Code, but we're in a Catholic
school so we can't talk about that right now. -Mrs. Aquino
I learned about getting what you deserve...
For that you will lose your genitalia! -Nicole
I learned about post-secondary education...
Can you say full-ride scholarship? -My mom
I learned about World War II...
And then they blew everybody up with a massive bomb and the Jews got screwed.
I learned about the birds and the bees....
-Mrs. Aquino, how did you get pregnant?
-You wanna see my cock?
-Suck my dick, man! -All courtesy of Jesus (how ironic?!?!)
I learned about the paranormal...
I see ghosts... I hear ghosts... I was playing hide and seek with one once and
then it found me and stabbed me with a knife! -Mathew
I learned about the reality of life...
John Whatever-His-Name-Was was a dope out hippy with no brains and Imagine is a
crackpot old theory! -Matthew
I learned about creativity...
-If you have a boyfriend, then what's his name?
-Uh... umm... Joe. -Ms. Magri
I learned about proper grammar...
You seen Ms. Minaudo? -Mr. Webster
I learned about logic...
-But Madame, I got 'les sports d'equipe', and so did Michael and Alyssa!
-That's not possible. I only made one of each.
-But we all have it!
-No you don't. Mme. Reive
I learned about paying your dues...
Give me my five bucks or I'll tell Mrs. Evon you touched me! -Freddie
I learned about being yourself...
I don't care if Stephanie makes fun of me, she's cool so I'll keep hanging out
with her. -Kirsten
I learned about following the rules...
If you guys get A's, I won't tell Ms. Minaudo you were here unsupervised.
And, most importantly, when I was in grade eight I learned to take nothing for
I'M DOING MY PROJECT WITH EMSEE THIS TIME!!!! -The entire class
So what did YOU learn in the eighth grade?!?!?!?