Sunday, 29 June 2008
02:23:41 PM (GMT)
Many people think that Itachi killed the Uchiha clan for no reason whatsoever.
Others believe that he killed them to test his strength. Some other people think that
he did it so that Sasuke would have an incentive to become stronger, so that he could
defeat his brother. All of these theories are incorrect, however. If you want to know
the real reason why Itachi brutally slaughtered everyone except for Sasuke, we must
take a trip into the past...
weird flashback blurring effect
The Uchiha Clan Household, 5:47am
The sun was rising, the birds were chirping happily and nearly all of the Uchiha
clan's ninjas were waking up. All except for a certain person...
A high-pitched scream, almost like a young girl's, filled the morning air. That could
only have belonged to one person... Uchiha Itachi. The Crossdressing Ninja of the
Uchiha Clan, Uchiha Itachi. Although he preferred to be known as Megumi.
When Sasuke, one of the 'unknown' children of the clan (Voted 'Least likely to make
anything of his life'), walked in on Uchiha Megumi using his infamous 'Avada
Neutrogena' jutsu on his parents (Death by moisturising, drains life from the user's
skin), Megumi decided to put on his best 'Evil' voice.
The attempt failed miserably however, and Sasuke was forced to make up the entire
encounter and delude himself into thinking that what he had imagined was actually the
truth, so that nobody could find out what really happened.
Instead of what Sasuke SAYS happened, this is what Megumi REALLY said:
'Hello little brother. Would you be a darling and pop down to the chemist's to get me
some more handcream?'
This was said mere moments before he was attacked by the rest of the clan (Two old
men and a half-sheep/half-woman crossbreed), forcing Megumi to use Avada Neutrogena
so much that the skin on his hands actually CRACKED. Ashamed that such a disaster
would see him forced out of the Konoha Crossdressing Championships this year (Other
competitors included the Sandaime, Jiraiya and Random Chuunin Who Is Never Seen
Again), Megumi fled Konoha and the rest is (almost all) history.