Saturday, 14 April 2007
03:09:57 PM (GMT)
EVER WONDER where we are heading...
Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara
with their mouth closed?
Why you don't ever see the headline:
"Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor,
while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why the man who invests all your money is called a
Why there isn't mouse flavored cat food?
Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why they don't make the whole plane out of the
material used for the indestructible
Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
Why they are called apartments when
they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro,
is Congress the opposite of progress?
Why they call the airport "the terminal"
if flying is so safe?
In case you need further proof that the human race is
doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label
instructions on consumer goods.
On a Myer hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how???)
On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But, it's just a suggestion).
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down".
Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought????...)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
taking this medication.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head
colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause
(And I am taking this...........because?)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use".
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
On packet of Nobbys'
"Warning: contains nuts.
(Talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
I don't blame the company; I blame the parents for
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly".
On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to
spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to
bring a smile to (maybe even a
chuckle)...in other words send it to
everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.""