Tuesday, 27 March 2007
11:41:28 PM (GMT)
"I'll be right back." I tell Julian as I get out the door to go to Alex. "Alex." I
call softly, stopping to stand in front of him.
"What do you want?" He snaps and I wonder what's gotten into him.
"I just wanted to tell you not to do anything stupid."
"I've made my decision. You can't change that, so don't try." He moves to go around
me and I stop him.
"And what decision is that? To throw your life away?" I half yell at him. "You can't
do that. What would I do without you, huh?"
"I can do whatever I please. You will do fine without me, besides, you have Julian."
I'm afraid I've lost him again.
"Is that what this is about? Julian?" I cry. "Yes, I have him. But I still have you,
or I thought I did. What's different?"
"No, this isn't about him." He paused. "Let's just face the facts. I don't fit here
and I never will." He looks down at the ground. "I can't live like this anymore. It's
my fault you haven't got any friends in school. You've put your life on hold for me,
to help me. And how do I repay you for all you've done? You'd be better off without
"How would you know?" Then a silence ensues. "If this is what you want, then I guess
I can't stop you. I did once. I showed you that I cared enough to listen, but I guess
that won't work now. Just know this, I love you and nothing can stop that. You're my
best friend. You helped me through the bad times. You were there for me. I just wish
this wasn't your solution." I look at him through tear-filled eyes. He looks up at
me, he's crying as well. I hug him and give him a kiss on his cheek.
"And thank you for all you've done. It means a lot. You were the only person who
cared. Not even my parents did, nor my brothers and sister did, not once. This is
something I want, something to end my pain and loneliness. It might not happen
tonight, or tomorrow, but one day it will." He hugs me back. "I love you too. I only
wish people were more like you." Then he pushes me away, and walks around me and into
the house, disappearing from me.
I stand there and wrap my arms around myself, crying. As I gather myself together, I
go and get in the car. I look up at the window to his room and he isn't looking out.
"Could you reach in there and grab a Kleenex for me?"I ask Julian. After he gets it
out, I wipe my tears away. "Where do you live?" I ask him, we still haven't left.
Last edited: 19 November 2008