Tuesday, 23 September 2014
07:12:29 PM (GMT)
I don't have much to say on this subject...
But I will say this.
I've had fewer dark days since graduating high school.
More days when I could be okay, when I could actually get excited about things.
High school is toxic for many students; I really believe that.
College is so much better.
College fills me with optimism for my future, inspires me to work hard, and for the
first time I feel like I really do have the ability to shape myself into who I want
Throughout high school I accomplished very little; countless classes passed while I
slept, daydreamed, or sat with my head down and considered all the countless ways I
could kill myself. Many times I left school early or stayed home because I couldn't
stop crying and hyperventilating.
But now... Not only can I do anything, but I'm going to do everything.
I have a million dreams and ideas, why shouldn't I make them all happen?
I'm going to become the kind of person I think the world needs more of; which is a
never-ending process, a continual and deliberate shaping and reshaping of yourself.
But I'm up for it. I don't doubt depression will still show up to drain me of
motivation sometimes. But I won't let depression shape who I am.
“We turn not older with years but newer every day.” -Emily Dickinson
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your
mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and
acceptable and perfect." -Romans 12:2
So here's to the future, and here's to no longer being afraid.