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I don't have anywhere to turn.Category: (general)
Sunday, 2 October 2011
08:09:21 PM (GMT)
Now, I know this is gonna sound like a shitload of whining, but I don't care
anymore, and I'm sorry if I offend anyone.

The past two years have been very hard to me.
I moved to North Carolina (it's beautiful here), but it was a very, very uprooting
thing. I'm from florida and there I'd been dating a boy for two years. 
Six months after I moved here, he cheated on me with my best friend Alexis. 
He was very mean to me, and we don't speak anymore. And it's sad because we were best
friends since we were toddlers.

Later that year, I began drinking heavily and doing prescription pills, almost hoping
to die but being afraid to take action. I was caught at school with a knife and
prescription pills. That was a wake-up call.

My friend Noah shot himself this winter. I miss him very much and that also almost
pushed me over the suicide edge. But I caught myself and kept my head up. I relasped
into Ritalin.

This year I was raped. I can't handle that. It's degrading and disgusting and I hate
myself for letting it happen. It's separated me from my family and friends and I'm
very isolated now. I don't know where to turn with my story, you guys. I just wanted
to get some of this out. I'm so ugly, so anorexic. So disgusted with myself. I
shattered two vertebrae during the rape and I am in a back brace now. Everyone can
see the evidence. 

I'm not asking for anything. Just hear what I have to say. Thank you guys.

Comments 
peridotpanda says:   9 January 2012   620395  
Wow...I just..
You are so strong. 

Keep your head up. You're smart, beautiful, you ARE amazing.
That guy who cheated on you was worthless. He'll regret it.
The guy who raped you is scum, and the natural balance of the world
will be restored one day when he goes to prison and some inmate makes
him his butt-buddy.


I'm here anytime you need someone. Stay strong, hun ♥
BeautifulLikeRoses says :   9 January 2012   220862  
 because you need one. I apologize profusely if I say anything
offensive - it's probably because I don't know you well enough.

I just have to say, I hope that asshole is in prison on the death
sentence. Rapists should be. If I were a policewoman, I would hunt him
down, but I'm not and I can't. Your family and friends sound like
assholes to me, because that after such a traumatizing experience they
would isolate you, when you were depressed before. I know I can't see
you through a computer screen, but I'm sure your not ugly, and
anorexia is a willing thing, is it not? Refusing to eat, and all. I'm
very sorry that your life isn't turning out well. You could start
rehabilitating yourself not by making yourself drunk and carrying
around a knife, but by getting yourself a hobby, watching TV or anime,
planting things, reading, or trying to do things for the community. If
your current friends are isolating you, however hard it will be, you
need some new friends. If you want, I can be your internet friend. As
well as, the person above me is right. Even if killing yourself would
be stupid anyway, you are strong to have not done so when God (life)
as so willingly kicked you so many times. 

So, what I'm trying to say is.
Your smart, beautiful, strong, and if you've survived thus far, you
can reach the good parts in life. 

Hope I helped C:
 

 
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