Friday, 29 July 2011
04:26:04 AM (GMT)
I wish I could help.
I wish I could take all of her pain.
I felt a small portion of it tonight and it was the worst thing I have ever
I want more.
I want it all.
I will make her send it through me.
I will hold it inside until it is completely gone from her. I will never stop until
she makes me live through all she has seen.
They will pay for what they have done.
If it doesn't happen through physical pain, personal justice, it will happen through
The agony, the torment, the victimization will be brought down upon them.
I haven't decided if it will be through my fist or from the mighty blows of the Gods
It will happen.
I can't sleep.
I won't be able to for a really long time.
I will force myself to relive her memories.
I will trade her eyes for mine.
I will send my worries to Gaia, but not hers. I am keeping them until I can somehow
get rid of hers.
I don't need this.
I don't want this.
Niether does she, and if she is going to suffer so will I.
She will never be alone.
She says she trusts me, but I'm not sure how much she really does.
I doubt she has much faith in me.
She definitely doesn't see in me what I do in her.
The strength, the beauty, the intelligence, the curiosity, the open-mindedness, the
abilty to change people, to heal them, to make the world a better place.
I will get past this mask of hers, this mass of underlying sorrow that stains such a
She doesn't think I can help her.
She thinks the only thing that can help her is a needle.
I will prove her wrong or die trying.
This is something I can never give up on.
Maybe I am in way over my head but I don't give a fuck.
She lives in me now.
Her pain is my pain.
Her joy multiplies in me.
Even if she never wants to see me again, I will not give up on her.
She is my best friend, and I would die for her a million times over.
This will get better.
She will be loved.
She will be healed.
She doesn't love me, but I love her.
I feel broken, I feel abused, I feel anger.