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This diary entry is written by ‹[AyaBraya.♥]›. ( View all entries )
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the emptiness <3Category: (general)
Monday, 25 July 2011
03:07:13 AM (GMT)
xXRainbowMassacreXx wrote this not me. i've been working on something elsewhere so i couldn't have written this. The Emptiness I am here to tell you a story, a story that will torture your thoughts by day and poison your dreams by night. And though I will do my best, there are no words that can be written, nor brush strokes layed on canvas, that can describe the stark and utter horror of the night that Annabel died. The emptiness will haunt you. This is a nightmare. Is my annabel really gone? Why have I stopped my day? I find it hard to breathe. Her body teases me, as the sun reveals the dawn. Her smile reflects the gold. I kissed a sharp painful lie. Baby, lay in my arms, and cuddle me close. Soon this will be just an awful memory. Will I ever be able to sleep again? I watch the blood drip from the corners of your mouth. The watch seems vicious for me. I'll frown and slit your throat. I'm starting to believe what my eyes are seeing now. Eyes look so beautiful, and you know what I'll be now. Sweet, raffish. It will be mine. It will be done. Empty eyes accuse a face so evil. I'm coming undone. The mirror says it all. Eclipse and story of innocence lost. I said "Look at me my real angel. Abyss, I know, I will speak against you. Fly, forgive me. My one, I see, never say you know. Never for me, though it was for you. Fly me, monster." Such an awful memory. My angel, lie to me, and tell me I'm dreaming. Please wake me up, please wake me. A feel like you will always be such a tragic part of me. I'll watch to see you torture me. A mirror never lies. They know. Everybody knows. Do you not see what they see? A mirror never lies. I see what they see. Everybody knows. Everybody knows. What is wrong with her eyes? A glossy stare that won't leave me be starts my blood running cold. A gaze that could make hell freeze over. I have to understand she's gone. But she's not. Don't you tell me that she is dead. Watch her lips softly move because she's still whispering to me! And something here is not quite right. Skin so cold beneath my touch, as I brush back her hair and close her eyes, but I cannot stand to turn away. When I do, she'll be gone. It's frightening. Sweaty hands will fail to lock the door. They'll be here soon. I wish I could keep my teeth from grinding. I wish I'd stop looking behind me. Running now will only make it worse. I wish I could shake the awful feeling. I wish my mind would stop. Maybe I am crazy and my mind is trying to deceive me. As the ground vanishes I wonder, will the sky be the next to fail me? Paint abandons canvas, and my brush can't seem to start again from scratch, as I watch everything unravel. Why should I even try to stop the collapse? I won't. Shaking as I rest her body down. No one knows, only me. It's frightening. Why should I even try? If only you could see. You're the only girl I've ever dreamed of. Should I apologize with such pathetic eyes? Just the sight of you has made me sick tonight. It was your poison kiss that turned me into this. Then again there is a chance you could be right. Darling, will you please take a walk with me? We could count the stars and disappear. I wish you could see you're the only girl I've ever dreamed of. Are you satisfied? What fate has led me here? Oh, please forgive me, dear. I don't know if I could survive on my own. I could have married you. Instead I buried you. Now we'll see if I can fall asleep alone. The nightmare's coming true. I did it all for you. The depth of a man's soul cannot be measured in a matter of meters and fathoms, but rather it is in my opinion, only quantified by his proximity to heaven and hell. It was in such a state that I ushered myself past the town tavern, bursting at the seams with the sounds of laughter, and drunken piano playing. And had it only been a different night, a different place, a different kind of man passing by the threshold of that innocent pub. The events that transpired at that point would have undoubtedly been drastically different. I can only guess if anyone outside that place had a clue when the exclamations of mirth became the desperate screams of the helpless, begging for their very lives. Is it about time? Oh yes, it really is. Let's get this party started. My hands are shaking. Just take a drink, steady your nerves. Are you ready to run? I've been waiting patiently for this. Please don't get up. Oh no, you're fine right there. Just don't mind me as I take you all in. So drink 'em up, oh yes just slam 'em down. Have one on me as I lock you all in. My little sheep, your wolf has come. You should know I'm dangerous. My thirst for blood turns me on. How sweet. Is this what we pictured the night that we said "You're the one"? I'm going crazy without you. It's hard to believe but I'm having fun. Annabel, look what you've started! The knife slides down to the tip of my tongue. I'm finding pleasure in watching you writhe. I lean in just to lick the sweat off your face. I taste the reverence dripping down my throat. There is definitely something wrong! Will they scream? Will they cry? Will they beg as they die or have to accept that this is the end? I'm so glad all of you came! Looking in I see a lonely man etching tallies into the bar. Looking on I see a desperate man repeating something to the floor. Saw your eyes today in a memory painted in the sky. You smiled and said to me "A love like this can never truly die." So now the show's over and I've got to disguise the thing I've become. I only wish I could stop laughing! I grin because the joke is on them this time! They don't have a clue. Calm consumes me. I shut my eyes and once again the pleasure strangles me. I taste the tears of sweet indulgence, pain and fantasy. Oh, the visions inside my head. The emptiness will haunt you. Sanity is slowly slipping from my hands now. I'm standing closer to the edge than I should be allowed. Oh, what little regret I have. Does that make me a killer? I am the face of death standing right behind you. Yet you're oblivious to my cold breath on your neck. Is it just too easy? Am I just too good at this? I am the chosen one. I am the end of all and now you are mine! Let's just say you're right and the nightmare ends. We wake up side by side. What makes you think that I would let you live? I've really lost my mind. Behold, for I am the will of the reaper! Beg for the mercy of your worthless angels! Baby! why are you doing this to me? Sweetheart! Are those your eyes staring straight back at me? Angel! I see your smile everywhere! Darling! Stop! Night falls and I'm running in circles. I'm being chased by my imagination. Tell me I'm forgiven, say you'll always be mine. Say that everything is over, tell me I'm fine. No one deserves to live like this. I touch your lips and stare in your eyes. You smile and it makes me fly. You are the reason my heart beats. Tonight it's just you and me. Night as dark as my thoughts sets the scene for my return. Lightning nips at my heels as I race home. Wearily I stagger towards the song of her pale voice. Demons jeer my attempt to be free. Windows cast her gentle reflection. Her somber silhouette dances for me. Dear God, it's her. Look at you, you miserable fool. Get off your knees, your prayers fall upon deaf ears. Gods turned his back on you, heavens gates are shut, and now you're knocking on the devil's door. I've been expecting you for some time, sir, allow me to introduce myself. I'm the one who pulls on all the strings, son. You're lucky I don't kill you where you stand. This can't be real. Tonight I raise my glass. There's nothing left. For I know it's time to move on. All hope has failed. My patience will not last. I've lost my soul. Tomorrow I will be gone. The night sky feels as though it has never been darker. With the fleeting hope of vengeance compelling me I will attempt to recollect myself and resume my chase. But what is it that I'm chasing? I'm not really chasing anything at all. Am I simply drowning myself in revenge to avoid the horrifying truth? I've lost the only thing that made me feel truly alive. Are my hands responsible? Are these? Who was he? Who was the mad man that stood before me tonight? I swear I've seen his face before. I know I've seen his face before. I've made up my mind and I will be leaving. Leaving this cruel, dark world for the soulless to share, but first, women will shriek and watch their husbands bleed. Children will cry and watch their mothers die, because tonight, tonight we all go to hell. Why? I have to let go of what happened to my love. I am taking out on everyone else all the problems I've brought on myself. When I made your heart melt. My belle, we soon will meet again. There's nothing left for me to lose, except confusion. I'm finished trying to tell myself this will go away. There's no one left to talk me down. My feet are slipping. One day I hope my name doesn't bring back memories of the day that I left her. Goodbye, so long. My heart belongs to the one I am chasing after. For better, or even for worse, remember me forever. Now the only question left is how to take you all down with me. The coroner will have his hands full tonight, that is if he is not among the dead. Dead will choke the streets with such vulgarity that grown men will weep, and then you will find the end is drawing night. The dizziness stuns me, would someone please distract me? Can I really get through this? Can I really betray myself? For better, or even for worse, remember me forever. There's sweat on my hands and a knife at my throat, and as the blade bites my skin Annabel appears. Is it her? Could it be? Should my eyes believe what they see? If you are who I think you are I might lose my mind. Just a kiss from her lips, and I would simply float away. The way her hips swing back and forth. I've got butterflies. Dead girls don't just appear out of thin air, but I am victim to her sinister stare. Please don't hate me for what I've done. Run away with me, I'll be everything that you need. Such a pretty girl screams to me. Take my hand, take my breath away. What if my heart breaks again? Take my breath away. Just the scent of her skin Unlocks forbidden memories. The slightest graze of fragile hand. I've got butterflies. I can't lose you again. I'm nothing without you. I'll never let you down, angel. So I'm thinking we should maybe just run away from here with no plan of coming back. We can stay away forever. Our anguished love will be all we have and I will save your life. It's happening again. I won't watch you die. It's happening again. I can see it's not the first time you have come and taken her from me. Rest assured it's not the last time I'm going to set you free. You took her once, shame on you. You took her twice, shame on me. Whisper softly, and tell me that you love me. I'm losing you. I don't know what to do. Please, forgive me, and know that I am sorry. I'm losing you. I don't know what to do. Trapped inside a memory, I'm losing you. I'm falling apart. Do you realize it's over? There's no chance of leaving here alive. You don't realize what you're saying. Without me, you can't survive. You've ripped out my heart. I don't know where to start. I don't want to go. I can't let it show. I'll be with her again, together 'til the end. If I have to go. I'll be damned if I'm alone. I'll be with her again. Look at the sky, as the night descends. The rain is crashing down. I've hit another dead end. Just before I let hopes slip away, a shadow is revealed. The devil shows his face. I'm scared to death and have myself to blame. I'm to blame. How did we end up fighting anyway? You know I used to search the sky, and dream of where you were. I need you by my side. We can end this together. I know I promised you the world, and still I let you down. I need you by my side and together we'll end this now. Look in my eyes, am I shaking now? I am all you fear, have I made myself clear? Shut your mouth and finish what you started. Boy you haven't got the slightest idea just who I am and what I did for you. Don't you see that I'm trying to save you? As the last ray's of sunlight fade one killer chases another. Through the tangled madness of the city, a clash of steel announces the presence of its quarry. The stage is set, the night explodes. You killed her, you murderer. You have stripped me of the one that I love Annabel, our Annabel! Murderer, you murdered her. You have no clue what she's capable of. You know you better look behind you! Her youthful flush color had drained from her much like the very blood from her veins on the bed in which she lied. Such a foul image for one to behold. In some twisted way it seemed to only enhance her exquisite beauty. Like a lilly on a grave. I have failed. Once again I have let her down. My poor, sweet Annabel. You trusted in me, you gave me your love, your soul. Now I fall to my knees in front of the man who took you from me. I fall pathetic, defeated, I will be with you again so soon my love, so very soon. Eyes of an angel bathe me and I'll be damned if he thinks he can stop me now. "Sweetheart, darling. Turn around, it's me. Follow my voice. Everything's going to be okay. My love, everything will be fine. It's all over now." How does the dagger feel now when you're on the receiving end? If this is what you call betrayal then this is what I call revenge. How could I be so blind? I guess I fell in love too quickly. But I'm fine. Imagine where you'd be now if you only knew the one you love is the one who's killing you. I trusted you too much. I know now that I should have kept my eyes wide open the first time that we kissed. I'll bury you for this. Just say to me that this time is the last time, and I'll pretend that somehow I know we'll be fine. Years spent watching in silence as your illness spilled onto page. Those were the last days I spend with you before you left, before he came. Just say to me that this time is the last time, and I'll pretend I'm fine. It is my fault? You fell into that illusion you've been living discretely. Should I blame you in the end? Did you ever think the sketches would take over completely? Die! Just die! You are scum! You are filth! Choke on blood as your knife ends the show! Writhe in pain you thought you'd never know! I don't think they dig graves close enough to hell for the likes of you! I handed you a knife and my heart, and now the dream is over.
Last edited: 25 July 2011

‹HymnForTheShameless;› says:   25 July 2011   339144  
When I showed it to you I didn't mean you could just copy it. -.- I
typed it by hand for 2 hours listening to each of the songs one by
one. -____-
‹[AyaBraya.♥]› says:   25 July 2011   942648  
ik c: but read it all so i didn't just aimlessly copy and paste 
‹HymnForTheShameless;› says :   25 July 2011   928370  
Alright. :|


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